Jack
Jack Derex
Jack.jpg
Portrayed By Josh Duhamel
Gender Male
Date of Birth September 1st, 1981
Age 28
Zodiac Sign Virgo
Aliases Irish, Nuncle, NoNoBadJack, Jack-o
Place of Birth Mom's vajanna.
Current Location New York City, NY, USA
Occupation Pub owner, rogue, ne'er do well.
Known Relatives Dangerous folk.
Significant Other Katrina Mah
Known Abilities Object Relocation
First Appearance In Search of the Almighty Dollar

I blow things up. Bite me.
And guess what else? I don't know how to make collapsing wiki sections. Deal.

History

Mysterious Irishman.

Quotes

  • "The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."
  • "I'm a magician, bitch."
  • "I can't smell vagina unless it's within ten paces."
  • "I'm sewin' your vagina shut."
  • "If we ever get drunk enough that I try to have sex with you, I want you to punch me. Right in the testicles. It's ok, we can still be friends after."
  • When you get to the finish line, I'll be the guy climbin' off of your mom.
  • "Are you pregnant? You're not pregnant. You can't be pregnant. Oh God, you're pregnant."
  • "WHY ARE THERE SO MANY MIDGETS HERE?"
  • "The sparkles on my hose will call attention to my package when I dance."
  • "Glam is so cool it would make your eyes pop. Glitter would come out."
  • "Suck on my <3."
  • "You bitch! You beautiful, dirty woman!"
  • "Come hither and taste my ninja weapon!"
  • "I love a man who'll put something strange in his mouth without asking questions."

Trivia

  • Jack struggles with insomnia; he rarely sleeps more than four hours in a single day.
  • His favorite way of blowing off steam is to play the piano. Badly.
  • Jack loves to cook, and especially to bake.
  • When bored, Jack spends much of his time sketching building interiors to help commit them to memory.
  • Jack drinks. A lot. He blames it on his Irish parentage.
  • Jack is afraid of the word 'pregnant.' When said aloud, it makes him blanch, shake, and feel queasy.
  • He is extremely allergic to pineapples.

Who's Who

Since moving to New York City, Jack has met more strange folk than he cares to tally. Here's a start:

  • Katrina Mah (Insert compliment here.) - Jack and Trina met and immediately hit it off. They have similar taste in cars (Vroom.), and he's even learning to like scotch. Having gotten over the hurdle of revealing his abilities to her, he trusts her completely. He's also fascinated by the fact that she's fascinated by him.
  • Nathan Petrelli (Nate Dogg) - Jack and Nate aren't exactly friends, but the Irishman respects the older Petrelli boy's strong sense of familial obligation. Whenever he has information about Peter, (because everything is connected to Peter in some way) he does his best to feed it to Nate.
  • Elena Gomez (Scrappy, Sucklips, Hymen) - One of the first Evolved that Jack bumped into outside of his family. Once he came to trust the girl, she was added to the list of people that Jack is Fiercely Loyal To. In his eyes, she's somewhere between a niece and a little sister. As such, he defends her virginity as if it were the Holy Grail.
  • Cass Aldric (Ass.) - Jack likes Cass. She's klutzy, possesses no overt offensive abilities, and probably wouldn't know what to do with a gun if it didn't come with a manual. Despite all this, she's shown that she's made of sterner stuff than some of the self-proclaimed fighters that Jack has allied with in the past. Like most of the women who are making regular appearances in his life, Jack is intensely protective of the bookstore owner in a old-fashioned, chivalric manner.
  • Peter Petrelli (P-Funk) - Jack and Peter's friendship has evolved considerably in the time they've known each other. Peter has saved Jack's life, his relationship, and his sanity on more than one occasion. In recent months, Jack has finally had the pleasure of returning the favor, at least to a small degree.
  • Niki/Jessica Sanders (Uh. My pants feel tight.) - Though their friendship started out quite complicated, Jack is now a great deal more comfortable with it. More than that, he's starting to see Niki as the sister he never had. He's gone out of his way to help her on more than one occasion, and wouldn't hesitate to do so again.

iPod

After breaking two (one with a hammer, the other by dropping it into the toilet) Jack finally learned how to properly program his iPod. Some things move in and out, but these favorites are always at the top of his list:

  • Ministry - Jesus Built My Hotrod
  • Dropkick Murphys - The Warrior's Code
  • The Beta Band - Dry The Rain
  • Daft Punk - Verdis Quo
  • Ween - Waving My Dick In The Wind
  • Weezer - El Scorcho
  • Offspring - Bad Habit
  • Johnny Cash - Folsom Prison Blues
  • Junior Jack - Da Hype
  • The Breeders - Cannonball

Julia

Julia is Jack's 1967 Pontiac GTO. She debuted on April 15, 2007 in The Jack And The Furious. Jack loves his car as much as you love your mother. Be nice.

julia_photo.jpg
Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License