2007-07-28: Accidents


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Life gets just a little bit more complicated for Cass and Lachlan.

Dark Future Date: August, 2008


Cass' Apartment

It's been one hell of a day out in the rather bleak world. In addition to everything that's been happening out there, it's raining, and Lachlan's rather drenched when he manages to limp his way 'home'. The same goes for the paper bag he carries in one arm and the pair of young Dobermans that accompany him. He's muttering and grumbling accordingly as he shoulders through the door and closes it behind him again, wet dogs milling about his legs with gleeful expressions. They like rain, ohboyohboy! "Cassie, I brough' ye some soup," the Scot calls, despite having not turned around to see just where the woman is. "'F s'no' bloody swimmin' in there." This added in a low growl to himself as he turns to start limping toward the kitchen. "Stay." The dogs sit quietly near the door, knowing better than to move anywhere to spread their muddy paws and wet-dog smell.

For Lachlan, this already rather bleak world is about to get a lot scarier or a lot happier. It really just depends. Cass is already in the kitchen, sitting at the table and kind of just staring at a glass of water, absently. As if it has some information she's trying to discern through a mind to water connection. When Lachlan enters, she doesn't immediately snap out of her reverie. However, when he comes into the kitchen, she stirs a little, twisting in her seat. "Hey, baby." There's an unreadable expression on her face. "How is it out there?" It's possible to hear the rain at the window, so she should know that it's raining pretty heavily.

"S'wet." Obviously. Lachlan sets his soggy bag down on the counter and then goes in search of a towel. He's a bit distracted and doesn't seem to notice that Cass is, well, not entirely here. "An' s'hell out there like usual. Shoulda moved t'bloody Scotland." After he pulls out a towel and swipes it over his head to get the worst of the wetness, he pauses and frowns at her. "Ye feelin' a'righ'?" Even as he says it, he's paused in the doorway of the kitchen, on his way back to the living room to dry off the dogs.

"Probably would be better there. Maybe…maybe we should move. Get out of here." Cass finally stands up and follows Lachlan for a moment, before finally stopping when he returns to the kitchen and the living room. "It's not safe here." Almost reflexively, she has her hand just resting on her stomach. She doesn't answer how she's feeling right now. Instead, she's focusing on something else. "What do you think? We could sneak out somehow. I'm sure Nima and the Saints could help us out. You said Scotland can be nice. It's got to be better than here."

… so Cass isn't feeling well. Otherwise she wouldn't be talking like that. Lachlan gives her an odd, questioning look before he turns and heads into the living room. There, he straddles one dog and starts giving his short coat a rubdown. "Wha's got ye talkin' like tha'? Though' ye wanted ta stay ta help out with ever'thin' here." Not that he's against moving to Scotland or anything, because he's the one who suggested it. But still. When Cass gets talking like that, Something Is Wrong.

"It's…I do. I /do/." Staying here to help everyone is a huge part of her life. And the fact that she's thinking about this indicates something has happened in the time between him leaving and coming back. "But…I don't know. It's just…this isn't really…Lach." She's not sure how to explain this. How to make this sort of announcement. So, instead, she just decides to spit it out. However it may turn out. "I'm pregnant." There it is.

Obviously something must have happened while he was out. Lachlan watches Cass with that same odd, confused look as he vigorously dries first one dog, then the other. It's in the middle of the latter that the bomb drops — unfortunately, he either didn't hear it, or he didn't hear it correctly. Blame the noise of rubbing down a dog. Rubrubrubrub, patpat dog. He straightens again and fixes her with a frown that really isn't much like the shock he probably should be feeling in light of this revelation. "So we'll take a break 'r somethin', 'r go onna vacation."

Really? He's okay with this? He's not freaking out? How is it that /she/ is more freaked out than he is? Cass' face creased in confusion. "Really?" It's surprising. "I mean…you're not…did you hear what I said?" She's not sure what's going on here, really. Because she can't understand his calm. Maybe it hasn't sunk in yet.

"Sure." Lachlan throws the towel over his shoulder and hobbles on toward the kitchen again, though this time he stops in front of Cass and gives her a reassuring grin, reaching out an arm to wrap around her waist. "Ever'one gets pretty spent after a bit. S'no' like yer quittin' 'r anythin'." Yeah, something got lost between here and the entrance to the apartment. "We'll just take a bit o' a break, hand off the werk ta someone else fer a bit, an' just relax 'til yer ready ta come back."

There's a stunned silence from Cass when Lachlan seems to be all grinning and not shocked or anything to know that he's going to be a father. "I…I was thinking about it. Stepping down. Finding someone else to take second command for Nima. I mean, you want to go through with this? You want to have a kid? Because…if we do…this I don't know. I don't know if I'll be able to come back. I can't let my son or my daughter running around here. What if he turns out to be like me? They could try and take him from us and put him with the others. It's just…it's not /safe/ to raise a kid here. It's raising a child in a warzone."

Have a kid? Raise a kid? Raise a child? Son? Daughter?

Yep, there's the panic that should've happened before, had Lachlan heard things correctly. The Scotsman freezes, his eyes go wide, and that grin doesn't stay there for long, replaced instead by an expression bred of horror and confusion. What is she talking about, raising a kid? He doesn't want to raise a kid. He's already said on more than one occasion that children are not something he strives toward. Why is she asking about raising one n—

— ohhh boy.

"… yer pregnant?!" His arm drops from her waist as though she just bit him. This does not compute. "But … but the … I thou— wha' … but the pills!" Panic time.

So he /hadn't/ heard before. Because if he had, he wouldn't be freaking out /now/. Or maybe now it just sunk in. "/Yes/. I just…I just /told/ you that!" She shouldn't be getting annoyed about something like that when there's all this other stuff that's important - like the fact that she's pregnant to begin with - but, still. The whole listening thing. That's important. "I /am/! But accidents happen! It's not totally foolproof!"

"Accidents?!" Lachlan's voice pitches into the shrill area. His eyes cast about the room, not really seeing anything in it, though it does give the faintest impression of one panicking man looking for a quick escape. Under the couch? In the bedroom? Out the door? He runs a hand through his hair once, twice, breaths starting to come in hard pants. No no nononononono. This isn't happening. Can't be happening. Not here, not now, not ever. But almost as quickly as the initial freak out happened, it starts to die off as pure, numbing shock sets in. He stops glancing about frantically and his gaze finally just comes to rest on Cass — or more specifically, Cass' stomach. His hand continues to squeeze and rub nervously at the back of his neck, where it's stopped after his pulling-hair-out gestures. "Jesus, baby." Now he's just at a complete loss. What's he supposed to do with this?

Cass' stomach doesn't look any different than it normally does. No indication that there is actually something growing there. This is more along the lines of what Cass was thinking would be Lachlan's reaction to this announcement. While it was nice to think that his comments before were really how he would feel about it all, she knows that the idea of having a child is not exactly on Lachlan's agenda. At all. "Yes. Accidents. Nothing but abstinence is 100 percent. Didn't they tell you that in health class?" Possibly he skipped that one. While Lachlan has been shrill and panicking, she has mostly just been standing in the same place, arms wrapped around herself. "I know," she sighs. "This is…" Scary, not what they were planning…so many other things. "What do you want to do?"

What does he want to do? Lachlan wants to stick his head under the couch and not come out again ever. He wants to crawl under a rock and wither away and die and never have sex ever again (this will last for about five seconds). But of course, none of these are actually possible, so he's stuck with just standing there wide-eyed and fidgeting. "S' … dunno. I dunno," he mumbles, sounding and looking almost ill. "S'just … 're ye sure? Could be a mistake, righ'? Mean, s'no' allus accurate, is it?" Hello, desperation.

"I'm sure." Cass is very sure. She wouldn't be bringing this up to Lachlan if she wasn't sure. "All the tests I took came up positive." Not a single negative. The only way she would be more sure is if she went to the gynecologist to get a proper test and maybe even an ultrasound. Even if there wasn't a heartbeat, they'd be able to tell. "I didn't take just one. I'm pregnant."

There's that word again. And all the tests were positive. Just because she doesn't look pregnant doesn't mean she's not. Lachlan not only looks and sounds ill, now he feels ill too. He should walk. He should just go take a walk — but he just came back, his knee hurts, he's wet, it's raining outside. The best he can do is just half-sit, half-fall onto the couch and lean forward to cradle his head between his hands. He doesn't say anything, he only sighs heavily and shakily. Okay, so she's sure, it's real, it's happening. Now there's just that question: what does he want to do?

They've been through enough together, that Cass knows to give Lachlan just some time to think this over. It's a huge, life-changing position they're in. Not to mention the fact that they're in the middle of a dark war that doesn't look like it'll end any time soon. Slowly, she follows and sits on the couch next to him awkwardly. Even if she's not going to say anything right away, she's going to reach an arm around him and lean hear head against his shoulder. Some comfort for the both of them. She's pretty sure she knows what her answer is at the moment, but Lachlan has to make his own about it.

Lachlan's first answer is Do Not Want. However, it's a lot different when one is actually faced with the reality of it all. Even though it's really just a little bundle of cells and not much bigger than his thumbnail, it is still essentially a part of him and a part of Cass. Getting rid of it would be easier on finances and their situation, but emotionally, it's not exactly the sort of thing he could or would want to deal with. The hug is comforting and most welcome, and the Scot leans into it slightly while he tries to sort himself out. It takes several long seconds before he finally heaves another sigh and raises his head to rest his chin on his thumb, fingers folded in front of his lips. "We're gonna need a bigger place," he mutters, "'f we're gonna keep it." Still erring on the side of caution with that 'if'.

Admittedly, Cass has had a longer time to think through everything. She's taken the tests throughout the day and has finally come to terms with what this all means for her and for Lachlan and for their future. However long or short that may be. There's a smile when he says that. At least his first reaction (outloud) isn't to immediately get rid of their possible child. "It's going to be hard to find one." That isn't damaged or or already occupied. Smiling, she tightens the hug just a little. It may be a little bundle of cells, but it's growing and it can turn into something very different. "What do you think? Do you think we could do this?"

Lachlan could rush into a room full of armed men bearing nothing more than a few dogs and a semi-automatic without more than a second's hesitation. He could take a blind leap between rooftops hundreds of feet above ground with a good running start. Raising a kid? That one takes a good, long moment of consideration. The way things are now, it's not just a matter of raising a child — it's a matter of raising a child during a war, when one certain race gets locked up in camps. And there's at least a 50% chance that this kid will be part of that race. Still, Cass has stayed out of the camps for this long. Lachlan puffs out his cheeks and releases a slow exhale between his lips. "Think so. 'F we're careful." On an impulse, the arm not pinned between himself and Cass goes searching in his pockets for his cigarettes. He gets out the pack and sticks one cylinder between his lips before he pauses, frowns, and takes it out again slowly. "'M gonna stop smokin'." He says it as though it's completely unrelated to the topic at hand.

Those first examples, those may no longer be an option for Lachlan any more. Because if the two of them are going to have a kid together, Cass is not going to let him do things like that any more. He's going to need to stay alive. And as functional as he is now. Limp and all. "Then, we be careful." No more dangerous missions, no more being careless. She's going to have to be /very careful/ about where she steps. No falling over for her any more. Seeing Lachlan give up his cigarette, she blinks and looks at him. It's not unrelated. Giving up smoking is a good thing in her mind. Leaning over, she tries to angle his face toward hers for a kiss. "So. We're going to have a kid?" It's still something she's questioning.

Of course Lachlan doesn't try to pull away from that kiss. He sorta needs it. It's grounding and reassuring and comforting. The cigarettes are crumpled up and set on the coffee table and he wraps his other arm around Cass with a faint smile. "Yeah. Looks like." Even though it's terrifying. "Dunna know a bloody thing 'bout babies." He gives her another kiss and adds quietly, "I love ye."
It's what Cass needs now, too. Which is why she's not pulling away from the second one. "Wow." Parents. Them. Now. That's such a strange thought. "I don't, either. Looks like we'll have to read up. And wing it where we can." Always the best idea, right? "I love you, too."

Reading. That … that thing. Even though he's not as adverse to reading as he once was, Lachlan still would rather look at pictures. Though maybe he'll change his mind when he gets to looking at pictures of childbirth. He just grins some and gives her yet another kiss before he glances at the kitchen and back again. "Got ye some soup. Ye hungry? Can warm it up fer ye."

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