Roberta Whitney Sachs

Roberta Whitney Sachs
Portrayed By	Kari Byron
Gender	Female
Date of Birth	December 18th, 1978
Age	28
Zodiac Sign	Sagittarius
Aliases	Bert, Robbie
Place of Birth	New York City, NY, USA
Current Location	New York City, NY, USA
Occupation	Geek, Techie, EvoSoft Game designer
Known Relatives	David Sachs (Dad), Katie Sachs (Mom), Sisters: Daniela, Paula, Natalie and Leslie
Significant Other	None
Known Abilities	Geek Padawan
First Appearance	Rubber Ducky, You're The One

Formerly holding her dream job as a video game designer for EvoSoft, she now works for the NSA.

History

The youngest of five daughters, Roberta's parents clearly wanted sons. Cursed, or blessed with girls, well, the Bronx family was a zone of pure estrogen at times. By the time she was born, her father was determined to raise one of these kids like a son. As such, Roberta is a well rounded sort of geek. She enjoys sports, video games, sci-fi and motorcycles. She wasn't much of a scholarly overachiever growing up. Roberta, or Bert, was an average student who did a little better where science was, but not by much.

In school, she pitched for the softball team while making time for the Dungeons and Dragons crowd. Needless to say, she was popular with a lot of the boys. Breasts, cute face, tomboy interests, breasts.. What else was there to like? She had a string of boyfriends, but nothing truly serious. The last couple of years in high school were spent studying hard to get the best grades she could muster. With five kids, her family was struggling and money for college just wasn't there. So she had to work hard to get a scholarship. She didn't get the full ride she wanted, but it was padded with part time jobs and high interest loans.

With a fondness for computers and other geekery, it was no surprise that she majored in computer science in college with a little art design on the side. Now in her late twenties, she's gotten her bachelors, but is now going for graduate study. (Hey, it can't hurt!) Her sisters Daniela, Leslie, Paula and Natalie are each married, with kids. So the questions are always coming as to when Bert's getting hitched! It can get a little tiresome to say the least. So far, she doesn't have much interest in settling down.

She's been holding down mostly technical support jobs to help pay for schooling and to keep her plum purple Harley running.. oh and to pay for rent.. groceries.. utilities, student loans. It ain't easy.. but she's got her sights set on the big time. Video game design. She doesn't expect to get there overnight, but she's trying to get her foot in the door!

Timeline

• October 19th, 2007 - Gets the long awaited interview to kick her career off!
• October 21st, 2007 - While celebrating her newfound success, Bert runs into Jaden at DNA's.
• October 23rd, 2007 - Meets Tyson at The Secret Lair.
• October 27th, 2007 - Runs into Tyson again, this time at Enlightenment Books. She also meets Beck.

In the year since working for EvoSoft, she suddenly upped and quit her job, moving to Washington D.C. The move hasn't exactly worried her family and friends, despite knowing how much she wanted to design games. She assured them this job was a fantastic opportunity, and was top secret.

• Sept. 23rd, 2009 - A Senator finds it somewhat difficult to focus on what he should be doing, as he's surrounded by who he should be doing.
• Sept. 25th, 2009 - Bert gives the senator some dirt that she dug up on Tracy.
• Sept. 29th, 2009 - Gene catches up with Bert, and finds out a few things about her life after EvoSoft.

• October 6th, 2009 - Tracy and Bert get territorial over the Senator who isn't even there.

More logs tagged with 'Bert'

Relationships

EvoSoft

EvoSoft

• Jaden Cain - Her boss. The head honcho, the big cheese, He Who Gets His Way. I honestly likes Jaden, even if his eccentric behavior can make me a bit wary of him. It's because of him that EvoSoft has a bit of a party atmosphere and I love coming into work. I'm even willing to put up with Jaden's off the wall probation demands now that he's hired me back. Oi vey, how could I have been so weak minded as to quit and work in D.C.?? How the hell did that happen!?

• Gene Kensington - He's quiet, and seems a bit broody to me, but I really do like the guy. I'm never going to stop feeling guilty what happened with him and the government. I know I worked hard alongside him to make up for it, but still. It weighs heavily on me, even now that it's over and done. When I'm feeling crazy, in a way I kinda miss hiding out with him and Eric. There was a weird camaraderie going on. Not that I want to relive this period, although having downtime now makes me kinda jumpy.

NSA

While Working For the NSA…

• Ivory Wynn - I plead the fifth. Although, I will say, I still feel like he's watching me or will have goons leap out at me.

• Elena Gomez - She really sticks up for her friends. REALLY sticks up for them. Remind me never to cross her again.

• Eric Lancaster - Shadowman, he kinda livened up the atmosphere when the chips were down and we were on the run. I gotta wonder what he's doing these days.

• Nicholas Drake - I wonder what happened to him. He was decent to me, not to mention ruggedly dreamy.

• Tracy Strauss - I uh, hope to never cross her path again.

• Maxwell Swan - I'm never going to forget this guy. Not only did he manhandle me, he opened my eyes to superpowers actually existing!

Post NSA

A Lot has changed in Bert's life

• Russ, AKA Dumbass - So he's a little irresponsible. Okay, a LOT irresponsible. But he's funny and he's cute. Maybe I have a soft heart for schlubs, IDK. He gave me the laugh I really needed. I've had a really messed up year and now I feel like hanging out with people again. Although I'm still expecting government spooks to leap out at me every time I'm on the street. Hell, I still have nightmares about the Senator, but anyway. I wonder if Russ still has his job at Fro-Yo-Yo, I'll have to go by after work and find out. Not that I want to become some kinda groupie or anything. He was just fun, okay? Very carefree, not a worry in the world. I miss being like that. I felt like I turned off reality for the time I was around him and his friend.

• Lindsey, AKA, Captain Morgan - The more responsible of the duo. He carries a Droid and everything! He's also very funny and nice to look at. Dumbass left water on the floor, I slipped, and Captain was there to catch me. How cool is that? I think they have to be into each other, neither were slobbering over me. How nice is that? After the whole Wynn fiasco, I just.. I don't want to think about guys like that for awhile. Maybe a long while.

On second thought, those two really should have their own entry together. They're like Jay and Silent Bob, except without the persistent smell of marijuana. I also kinda felt like the chick in Dodgeball, hanging around these two. I still can't believe I nearly started crying in front of them. Talk about your first impressions. Hey, it's been rough since coming out of hiding, okay!? I felt like my old carefree self again with them.

Quotes

• "I think I'll just call you Jaden.. but it's Bossman or Darth Cain when I'm on the clock."
• "Fine, fine.. You're off the hook. For now. But only because you're my boss, and you're cute." Pause. "We're off the clock, so I can say that without being sued for sexual harassment."
• "Aw, you little farbissenah punim. Keep that frown turned upside down will ya?"
• "Don't be afraid to let your inner geek shine my man."

RP Hooks

• A former employee of EvoSoft. She's probably recognizable to the gamers as being one of their designers. She also appeared at panels and trade shows as a representative of the design department.
• She's currently in DC, working on a top secret NSA project. What a leap huh?
• Bert is back at EvoSoft, designing games. No more government work for her, she's had enough of that!

Trivia

• Is Half-Jewish.
• Uses more Yiddish when excited.
• Her father works in a dairy and is jokingly nicknamed 'Tevye'.
• Has a purple motorcycle that she fondly calls 'Ernie'.

Playlist

• "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny," by Lemon Demon
• "Talk Nerdy to Me", by Possible Oscar
• "Rose Tint My World," from Rocky Horror Picture Show
• "White and Nerdy," by Weird Al Yankovic
• "Jedi Drinking Song Prequel," by Brobdingnagian Bards
• "Talk Like a Pirate Day," by Tom Smith
• "Stealing Like a Hobbit," by The Great Luke Ski
• "Geeks of the Industry," by The Great Luke Ski
• For that matter, pretty much anything by The Great Luke Ski, Weird Al, and upcoming humor artists.