Candy Cain
Candy Cain
Portrayed By Elizabeth Hurley
Gender Female
Date of Birth December 12, 1965
Age 43
Zodiac Sign Sagittarius
Aliases Cynthia Walters
Place of Birth Los Angeles, CA, USA
Current Location New York City, NY, USA
Occupation Ex-Cinemax star; founder of Candyland Studios; film producer; mom!
Known Relatives Jaden Cain (son), Charles Walters (brother)
Significant Other Edward Cain (former fling); Men
Known Abilities They're Real!
First Appearance How To Tell Your Mom She Sucks And Not Hurt Her Feelings

Ex-Cinemax starlette, Candy Cain, is the mother of the wonderful and bizarre Jaden Cain, CEO of EvoSoft.


Candy's story is one of any Hollywood starlette cliche, although the inevitable pay off was a little unexpected. But, to start at the beginning. Born and known as Cynthia Walters for most of her life, her origins are humble. Her parents were true-blue hippies and made their money through welfare and random blue-collar jobs when the need to put something on the table drove them past their 'fuck the man' attitude towards making money. As a kid, well… we love our parents, don't we? Cynthia never saw anything wrong with this existence, especially when her parents gave her what they could, saving and going without so that she could have her ballet lessons as a little girl and proper birthday parties just like the other kids. But in the end, they were a reasonably poor family who struggled to make ends meet, and Cynthia wore clothes that were home-mended hand-me-downs and op shop bits and pieces.

Teenagehood came, and as for ballet, well, Cynthia definitely couldn't afford to maintain her lessons nor fund the lifestyle of a professional ballerina, so that fizzled out. Puberty, however, was the first good thing to happen to Cynthia. She developed fast into a very pretty young woman with much confidence in at least this. She skated through highschool on a wink and a smile, nowhere near any kind of top student, but certainly popular. During these years, she knew exactly what she wanted to do - she wanted to be an actress! It seemed like an obvious choice - she lived in Los Angeles, she was stunning in a bikini, and she sure wasn't going to be anything highschool could have helped her with.

Cynthia flirted and flitted her way into the Hollywood scene - which is a lot harder than it sounds, as really, California was not lacking in bombshell beauties who wanted to be the next silver screen starlette. She worked as a part-time waitress while waiting to catch a break, as goes the cliche, as well as playing girlfriend to boys with a healthy bank account, and while she never made it big, she did at least make it eventually. Her first role was in a typical slasher teen horror, where she was mostly required to look pretty, scream as appropriate, and, well, fall down the stairs. It's true - they really couldn't afford stunt people with the kinds of movies they were making, so Cynthia was forced to learn the ropes.

Incidentally, learning stunts like this would later come in handy when she would make her debut as Bombshell a.k.a Jenny James, and then later, the star of the small B-grade movie series, Bikini Hero - these are the highlights of her career that her little Last Girl role in Screamer would lead to. Cynthia became renowned for her roles as an action heroine who was willing to take her clothes off on camera, which allowed for a plethora of B-grade movie roles that catered to either trait - sometimes more the latter than the former, but hey, sometimes times got hard.

It was during the peak of her career (if one can really call it a peak - Cynthia was having fun, anyways) that she met Edward Cain, the ridiculously rich founder of Evolution Software. They were both making an appearance at a glitzy after party - Cynthia there to meet impressive people, Edward there to be impressive - and seemed to hit it off. Cynthia had a knack for picking out the rich boys and charming the pants off them, and Edward was no different. However, their one-night stand didn't quite lead Cynthia to being a trophy wife - she wound up pregnant, and very much alone.

She opted to keep it, and nine months later, Jaden was born. She loved him as much as a mother could love her son, and did her best to do right by him. Her own family weren't, at this stage, on speaking terms with her, and Edward was leaving her to her own devices - she and Jaden only had each other. Incidentally, this would make them more friends than mother-and-son in later years.

Which kind of helps when you discover he has the power to duplicate himself.

It was Jaden's twentieth birthday. Cynthia had a few drinks in her, as did the man she was dating at the time. A small argument escalated into violence, and he struck her hard enough to knock her off her feet - and over the railing, to which she clung on for dear life. Jaden came to her rescue. Jaden helped her back onto the balcony, tackled the man to the ground and attacked. Simultaneously. To this day, Candy doesn't really understand how her son can do what he can do. But somehow, this wasn't quite as startling as what fate would hand them next.

Edward Cain's death was a highly publicised event, made even more so in the shocking twist wherein Jaden was named heir of the Cain fortune and business. No strings attached. Needless to say, both mother and son embraced this opportunity. She and Jaden legally changed their last name to Cain, Cynthia going a step further and naming herself Candy Cain. What? It's cute! No harm in a gimmick when you're in the public eye!

Nowadays, Candy spends her time spending the big chunk of fortune Jaden gave her, going to glitzy parties in low cut dresses and soaking up the limelight. Life has been good, and continues being good.


Candy generally likes to keep things fun. If she can help it, she will keep conversation light, and interactions equally so. A nice and kind person for the most part - just don't dig too deep, because Candy will likely back off into realms where she neither has to think too hard, nor feel too hard. It isn't that Candy is incapable of having depth - she just doesn't particularly want to. That said, she can still be friendly and warm.

She also has a stubborn streak that has gotten her where she is today. As an ex-gold digger, Candy learned not to take no for an answer when she really desired something. And when she gets her heart set on something, it's nigh impossible to stop her from at least attempting to get it. While she may seem flighty and fun loving at first, Candy definitely has a kind of unstoppable and focused form of inner strength and willpower.

As for her moral compass, it's set how it should be. While she's a willful woman who isn't above lying and flirting her way through life, she has a distinct notion of Right and Wrong. She can't tolerate cruelty and bullying, and if someone is in dire need of help, Candy will be among the first to roll up her sleeves and step forward. Humble beginnings have helped ground her, and just because she leads a glamorous life now doesn't mean that Candy won't smackabitch when it's needed.


March, 2007

June, 2007

July, 2007

  • 2nd - Word To The Wise. Most mothers want their sons to be with a smart, pretty girl and go steady. Candy views the world a little differently.
  • 11th - An article is published, wherein Candy goes into detail about Candyland Productions and future ambitions.
  • 27th - That's Serenpidity For You. Backstage in La Petit Theatre, Candy runs into Desmond Cusick. Just the guy she wants to talk to! They go out for dinner.


Coming soon!

Toyboy Collection

Because some people keep stamps, but those are boring. :( Here are the NPCs she's gone through so far.

  • Sven Svensson: Half Candy's age, and Mr July in… some calendar, somewhere. Big, blonde, and not very bright. He doesn't speak a heck of a lot of English either, but that's okay, it's not like Candy is renowned for her conversation. Was stood up for Desmond.
  • Christian Bale: …apparently. Candy says this happened, but she might either be lying or confusing him with someone else. Mr. Bale has not yet been contacted in order to confirm this.

Career Highlights

B-Movie Bombshell

Candy never did earn that Oscar she always thought she deserved. Or a Golden Globe, even. Not so surprising, considering the quality of movies listed on her page, but hey - someone needs to play the sexy action heroine. Here are some of the more notable titles that are still available if you look hard enough.

  • Screamer: Cynthia's acting debut is in this teenage slasher film.
  • Happily Never After: Cynthia plays Princess in this coming of age modern day fairy tale story.
  • Bombshell: Short lived television series where Cynthia played 'Jenny James' and her heroic alter ego: Bombshell.
  • Bikini Hero: Title role in this low budget action flick about a bikini clad super spy.
  • Bikini Hero 2 - Undercovered: The sequel to the box office dud.
  • Bikini Hero 3 - Dangerous Curves: The third installment in the bad movie series.
  • Under The Rainbow: A twisted retelling of the Wizard of Oz. Candy plays Dorothy.
  • Bikini Hero Forever: Candy returns to her most famous role.

Candyland Studios

The latest of Candy's endeavors. Sometime in 2007, this ex-Cinemax actress decided to take matters into her own hands when it came to the world of the silverscreen, and founded Candyland Studios. Nothing yet has been produced, but studios are already being erected - one in New York, and another currently being built in yonder Hollywood.

On the 11th of July 2007, Candy announced the creation of Candyland Studios officially in a popular magazine (not without a photoshoot).

Upcoming Productions Status Candy's Role
Wonder Woman Pre-Production Producer, Lead Actress
Jurassic Park The Musical On Ice Rumoured Producer
Bikini Hero Returns Rumoured Director, Lead Actress
Wicked The Movie Development Hell Producer
Alf The Movie Pre-Production Producer
Secret Squirrel Post-Production Producer
Back to the Future Rumored Producer


  • "Well, I can't say that having a girlfriend isn't fun. Well, for me— boyfriend. Except once in the— you know, this isn't about me, it's about you." (Word To The Wise)


  • Also? Absolutely terrified of bugs. All of them. Notably, she hates flying/hopping insects, because that increases the chance they'll come near her. Butterflies don't freak her out too bad, for they are pretty, but she definitely doesn't want them on her - that will lead to squealing.
  • Candy actually did her own stunts on her movies. This was less a factor of her being adventurous and more that the budgets didn't support a stunt double for her. But it's given her an eclectic mix of skills.
  • Candy's earliest ambition was to become a prima ballerina, and though this died in her early teenage years due to a lack of financial support, she still has a bit of a love for this artform. Now that she has cash, she makes a point to go and watch the ballet when there's a show in town, and is convinced that she would have been an awesome ballerina.
  • Candy doesn't cry unless she's being paid for it. Except for once.
  • Tune in for the darker— well actually, not so much darker, but certainly a different kind of Candy Cain.
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