2007-06-25: Crazy And Mostly Harmless


Erin_icon.gif Carmine_icon.gif Nadia_icon.gif

Guest Starring: Crazy homeless man and gawkers.. and NYPD!

Summary: Homeless crazy drunkard, thrown rocks, angry Italian man.

Date It Happened: June 25th, 2007

Log Title Crazy And Mostly Harmless

Central Park

It's one of those days. One of those days where it's probably a better idea to stay home than go anywhere at all. Perhaps it's a full moon tonight, Erin thinks to herself as she glances skyward; no sign of it yet, though it could just be behind the trees in front of her. As she makes her way through Central Park and toward her apartment, it becomes rapidly apparent than slipping in spilled paint at work isn't going to be the worst of her worried, because in front of her, is one of /THOSE PEOPLE./

He could be homeless, or he could just be someone who's completely lost his mind. The economy's sort of in a slow, steady downturn, after all. People are losing their jobs. However, the man looks like he doesn't care for himself particularly well, and besides that, he's shouting for everyone to hear, "The end of the world is coming!" And other such cliches that people are known to shout on occasion. "Repent, or the fires of hell will /consume your souls!"

Or maybe the guy is just pissed that girls dress like Nadia is currently. (Who knows what sets off crazy people spouting end of the world stuff.) Lapsed Catholic, out jogging in tight spandex biking shorts, sports top that isn't really one and an iPod Nano worn in her armband as she jogs through the park. Volume up, ponytail bobbing, she's in her own world with the hum of some hard rock heard from the earbuds. So whatever the crazy guy has to say goes unheard, but she can't really miss the sight or possible smell of the guy. Ew. Seriously. Maintaining her pace, she stays on the path

If the crazy man isn't pissed that Nadia is dressed like so, then the man who is ambling on down the path certainly will be, once he catches sight of her. Carmine Selvaggi is not exercising, he's coming home from work. And he's taking the long way home, because Francesca is probably home, and he wants to give her as much opportunity as possible to be asleep by the time he arrives. Tonight is just one of those nights in which he doesn't feel like dealing with his latest wife upon stepping over the threshold. In one hand is a carrot; in the other is a cup of coffee, and he looks up with only mild interest when he hears the rantings of the man just ahead on the path.

Yes, the guy kind of smells like alcohol and also possibly a week without a shower. Perhaps a month without a shower. Because using water will make the world end faster, don't you know, and he is doing his part to ensure that the planet stays safe for at /least/ another few days, if not more than that. "HAY. /HAY!!/" he shouts, drawing nearer to Nadia as she jogs past.

Erin thinks that this is about the time she's going to step off the path and cut a wide circle around him on the grass. It's slightly more dangerous, but at least /she/ won't have to smell him. Of course, he shouts a "YOU, THERE!" to her as she tries to escape. "You don't know what you're doing! /They're/ out there! You have to stay on the path!"

There's definitely something creepy about the guy, and Erin isn't compelled to go anywhere near him, really.

Until he throws a rock at her. She yelps.

And he turns and throws one at Nadia, too.

"YOU HEAR ME!? Get back on the path!" Sure, Nadia might alredy be on the path, but she's ignoring him. Erin doesn't want more rocks thrown at her, so she starts to stray closer, still maintaining a wideish circle as she rubs her arm where she was assaulted by a rock. Maybe if she can give him the illusion that she's coming closer, while still hurrying past…

"Oh gross man, what the hell!" Nadia says as the guy gets too close for comfort and she's none too quiet with her surprise. Darting to the side, she avoids physical contact, but.. "Shit.. was that an effing rock!? The hell!" Earbuds yanked from her ears as Bon Jovi blares, she throws the homeless guy a look that should melt steel. "You crazy f***!," is said, and not very quietly at that as she rubs at the back of her head. But she's not one to throw back, unless it's family. Hand on the hip, she has no qualms about throwing a proper Italian fit. "Go to the closest shelter and get a shower. You smell like the gutter, you crazy old fart!"

It's because of his mild interest that Carmine sees the violence of the man, and being Carmine, he'd be more than happy to just keep walking. Not his business, really. Until he spots the second target of the man's ire, and then it becomes the Organ Grinder's business. The clothes Nadia wears are forgotten for the moment. Tossing aside his coffee with a faint scowl (a sure indicator that the man is pissed), he strides forward without hesitation and gets right up in the man's face. He reaches forward to snag the homeless man by the lapel, and his grip is iron-firm. "Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarls, though his expression, for the most part, remains rather calm. Or relatively.

What if he's not homeless, though? Maybe he could just go /home/ and take a shower! "That's just what they want me to do!" he counters. "If I do, that's when they'll get you! DO YOU HEAR ME? THEY'RE HERE!" And he turns, spreading his arms wide, shouting it to everyone nearby. Also, he reaches into his pocket for more rocks. Nadia's harsh words don't seem to really be affecting him, but then again, when you're crazy, /what does?/

When Carmine grabs him by the label, the man still doesn't seem remotely affected, though he becomes something like a rag doll, placidly dangling from the man's grip, though his feet still touch the ground. Also he continues to shout, right in Carmine's face. "I saw it with my own eyes! Someone made giant rocks fall from the /SKY./ They thought I wasn't looking, but I was. /Satan is here on earth!/"

There's a small group of people gathering at this point. Erin herself has decided that she can hang around for awhile, because she doesn't have anything else better to do.

"Oh sh… DAD!" There's nothing else for Nadia to say to the wretch of a human as her father intervenes. Throwing her hands up in the air, she strides forward, so what if she was just pissed about the guy throwing rocks. "DAD. Let him go. He's just crazy, forget about it. Crazy and mostly harmless, so c'mon." Great, people are gathering? She hasn't noticed. Yet. Not that she's easily embarrassed in public. Looking ready to yank her own ponytail, she gives her old man a look of restrained fury before glancing around to see what everyone else is doing. Beyond just staring.

"You toss another fuckin' rock at my daughter again, and Satan's gonna be the least of your Goddamn worries," Carmine snaps back in a low and very dangerous growl, giving the man a shake or two for emphasis. He's deaf to Nadia's protests, for the most part, until it becomes apparent to him that a crowd is gathering. Tossing a quick glance about, he releases the crazy man with a small shove, then steps back — and turns his attention on Nadia. "You." Slipping into Italian, he finishes that thought: "«What in God's name are you wearing?»"

"I AIN'T CRAZY. I SAW IT." He tries to turn his unshaven face so he can look at Nadia. "I saw it. I was walkin' my dogs, and this rock fell out of the sky. They thought I wasn't lookin, but /I SAW IT./ Landed on my /dog!/ She was tryin' to kill my dog, 'cuz that opens the gate to hell, I read that in the Bible."

Or, you know, something.

Erin is a pretty tiny girl, but she still steps forward in an attempt to separate the two men. No one needs to get hurt. "Look, I already called the cops," she says to Carmine. "They'll be here s—"

"THEY'RE WORKING WITH THE DEVIL!" the crazy guy shouts, throwing his handful of small stones in Erin's general direction. She raises a hand to ward them off.

Speaking in Italian is probably the worst thing Carmine could have done. "YOU'RE SPEAKING IN TONGUES" the man shouts, about two inches from Carmine's face. "YOU'RE WORKING WITH THE DEVIL — !" And, that said, he fishes in his pockets for more rocks!

Nadia rolls her eyes at what Carmine has to say to the weird smelly homeless guy.. then.. "HEY!" Hand back on the hip, she looks up at her father, "«My exercise clothes. I can't jog in a burqa, even if we were some weird desert religion people.»" Tearing her annoyed gaze from Carmine, she looks to Erin, "Thanks. Cause this guy probably needs to be hosed off or something somewhere.. and it ain't tongues, idiota. It's /Italian/. Y'know. From Italy? Sheesh. OI. What's with the rocks again!? You're gonna really piss someone off here, like my dad, and I wouldn't recommend it!"

Too late! The handful of pebbles is already enough to cause Carmine to tighten his hand into a fist. The screaming, getting in his face, and reaching for more rocks takes the cake. His lip curls upward into a very displeased snarl, and the accountant whips out with a mean right hook aimed straight for the crazy man's gut. Yes, it is the hand holding the carrot.

Erin still has her phone in her hand, though she's hung up with the police already. There was no need to stay on the line, since there's other people who've also placed a call. Disturbing the peace, much? Actually, the guy's sort of funny. "We never had people like this in Pennsylvania."

"YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME, but it happened, I swear! She filled in the crater! It's GONE— OOFGH."

That is the sound a man makes when he's been punched in the stomach.

"Y'don't unnerstand— " The man says as he gasps for air. On the ground now, he reaches up a pleading hand so that Carmine doesn't hit him again. Given that he /is/ drunk, the pain doesn't seem to be slowing him down much. "I ain't lyin'! You gotta tell everyone you can! It was a girl. With hair."

Yes, excellent description.

The hand returns to the ground as the man writhes in pain now. The lights of the police cars are visible as they drive up the path toward the destination described.

"Oh jeez.. Dad. Cops are coming. Polizia… «PAPA. Polizia. You cannot get arrested!»" Yes, there's an urgent tone to her voice as Nadia waves her arms and yells, generally trying to get her old man's attention. "«I swear, if I have to threaten to take my top off..»" The girl knows better than to jump into the fray. Never get involved when an Italian man is fighting, unless you're ready to go in swinging. "DAD. ENOUGH. PLEASE."

But there is no need. Carmine isn't an excessive man by any means, and once the psycho is down, he makes no attempts to strike him again. Instead, he takes a few steps back, as though the crazy man just bit him. The lights from the police cruisers are a great incentive to back off, even if Nadia's shouting wasn't. And speaking of Nadia! Carmine's attention snaps to her. "«You will not ever make such threats!»" he tells her very firmly. Then, to Erin, he grunts. It's a sort of 'are you all right?' grunt.
"He was defending himself," Erin says helpfully. After all, the guy was shouting into his face, throwing rocks… Anyone else in the area is likely to say the same thing.

"Landed on my dog," the guy says, voice threatening to break now. "He was thirteen years old… No one's gonna bring 'im back…" It's possible that he just needs to sober up a little, but it's also possible that something really happened. Erin imagines that maybe the guy's poor dog was hit by a car or something similar, and he just lost it.

"Come on," the actress says, backing away from the guy. The police are getting closer, and the farther they are from the homeless man, the less likely they are to be singled out. "Don't think you had to hit him, but… I guess I can't blame you." She's trying to ignore the Italian, since she doesn't speak a word of it.

The man continues, pushing himself to his feet as one of the police cruisers stops close by. "Please, just listen, please. You can see it, if you go— You can see it!"

Nadia just gives Carmine an incredulous oh no you didn't expression. "«FINE.»" Although it's tempting to make such a threat out loud and in English, just out of spite. Still glowering in teenaged petulance at Carmine, her gaze shifts to the crazed man on the ground, expression softening some. Not much, but some. If he's crazy, he can't help it, right? She folds her arms just under breasts, shifting her weight to one foot as she looks to Erin, waiting to see if she's okay too. A nod is made towards Erin, and she catches the subtle hint to get away from dodge. Despite witnesses and such. "Yeah.. well.. daddy doesn't really .. that's how he is." At least papa didn't have a drill on him. A pitying look is thrown towards the guy as she starts to back off too.

But Carmine hesitates just a moment, staring at the crazed man. It's quite possible he's just, well, insane and drunk and insane and drunk, but he can't help but be just the least bit curious. Just a little. He's listening, in spite of himself.

The man seems to sense that people are listening to him now, or at least he's not getting hit anymore, so he can speak. "There's a little park outside the Bronx…" he starts, though he doesn't elaborate, mostly because it seems like he's lost his train of thought, and partially because there are men in blue getting out of their cars. One of them says something about having just picked this guy up /last week./

No one mentions the fact that he took a slug to the gut, and some of the crowd starts to wander away.

Erin sighs. "I don't know about you guys, but I think he's just talking. Or, hell, maybe there was a meteor. It happens sometimes."

Nadia glances from the homeless guy up to her father, even as she steps closer to her old man. "Probably so," is her lame response to what Erin has to say. "Maybe he's all confused in the head and was on drugs or something at the time." The look of anger at having a rock thrown at her earlier? Gone. Now she's feeling a little sorry for the guy. Losing his head cause his dog got killed.

A little park outside the Bronx. Carmine doesn't really know /why/ he's filing this away, but he is. He doesn't ask for clarification, though, because the police are very much here, and he would rather not stick around for much longer. He backs away, giving one last glance to the crazy man, then one to the officers before he turns around and starts to follow after Erin and Nadia. Nothing is said by him. He's thinking. And what is he thinking about? He's thinking about a small park outside of the Bronx — and what a waste of a good carrot it was to punch that guy in the gut. A grimace, then Carmine tosses the vegetable away.

It's left Erin feeling slightly uneasy, even if there's nothing to the man's words. Everyone's heard people like this before, whether they be right-wing extremist Bible-thumpers or, well, crazy guys with too much time on their hands.

Over by the police, the man says, "'Nother rock /just came!/ Didn't you see it? Hit me right in the stomach!"

Well, if Carmine's fist is a rock. It could be.

But she's almost thinking of taking a look around that park herself, because… Even though the guy said there's no crater, there would be some sign of a meteor strike. Dead vegitation or the like, who knows? "I… Better head home. It's getting late," she says to the two Italians, looking toward the general direction of her apartment. "Don't think you really need to hang around here. Looks like that guy's got enough problems."

Nadia slips an arm around Carmine's waist and nods over to Erin, "Yeah, good idea. You take it easy on your way home." She however, doesn't have anything to worry about. She's got her superhero right here. (Even if she's mad at him a lot of the time.) "Did you really have to hit that guy so hard?" she asks of her dad in low tones as she walks off with him.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License