FANFIC: I'm on a Boat, PART I



Date: Uh…


It's kind of like reading axe cop….

"FANFIC: I'm on a Boat, PART I"

A Boat… Somewhere…

One day Laurie and Maggie were pursuing criminals— going after the bad guys in the most bad ass way known to man (and unknown to man, the kind used by aliens in the wild). They were running after some gang members when suddenly the trail went cold along the Mediterranean in Rome at a port with this giant ship docked at it. Seeing that there was no where for the crooks to go but on the boat, the pair made up their minds to board the ship.


Maggie, being the smart, hot, blonde she is totally agreed. “I totes agree.”

So the pair of them decided to pretend to be the Finklesteins. Being a second-class ship for an unnamed cruise line (so none of them sue me), no one bothered to confirm their identities and they easily snuck onboard, holding hands.

But to get onboard faster because Maggie desperately had to powder her nose, Laurie pretended to have a back problem and needed a wheelchair which helped them skip to the front of the line as the married Finklesteins. The lady pushing the wheelchair had a black wig and was hiding herself, but Laurie could tell it was the infamous gangster Brunhilda Turnblad— reaching behind him, in one foul swoop, he removes the wig to reveal a luscious head of blonde hair and causing Maggie to gasp in wonder at his mad skills.

Before even actually entering the ship, Maggie dives and arrests Brunhilda, while Laurie continues to pretend to have a bad back.

“Here’s some of the trash,” Maggie says to one of the surf cops.

“Thank you Mrs. Finklestein,” The surf cop nods.

“YOU’RE WELCOME!!” Maggie says perhaps too emphatically before pushing Laurie’s wheelchair onto the ship.

As the pair get onto the ship, they realize something. “OH NO!” they said. “We forgot that douchebag Sam back at the dock… oh well!”

But Sam was ALREADY onboard. Undercover as a midrange lounge singer in the piano bar; dressed in an awesome blue sequined tuxedo with a pink shirt and red lapel.


Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License