2007-04-29: Gay Men Save Local Pussies


Jeremy_icon.gif Leroy_icon.gif

Summary: Exactly what it sounds like, with added flaming.

Date It Happened: 29th of April

Gay Men Save Local Pussies

Innercity Kitty Shelter, somewhere in NYC

Welcome to… Innercity Kitty Shelter. A place Jeremy spends far too much time at, adopting cats while they await permanent owners, helping clean things and pet things and generally being a good samaritan. Today, he has brought along Leroy - because doing things like this is fun! Besides, they get a lot of juvenile delinquent types made to do community service for petty crimes, and Jeremy is a little tired of putting up with surly teenagers and young twenty-somethings… if also a little scared of them. It's New York, after all.

It's late in the day when Jeremy, armed with a cat carrier, moves into the backroom to deposit the cat inside it into a cage, brushing shoulders with one such Surly Teenager as he goes. Oy. Jeremy offers a smile to the kid, and then sneaks off into the staff room for some chai.
This is so not what Leroy enjoys doing, he loves /his/ cats but other people's cats can be oh so unfashionable, so he's happy only to oversee the possible grooming of such little kittens while keeping those juvenile delinquents in their place. He is, after all a decently large muscular man, dressed simply in t-shirt and jeans and such as he finishes drying off an unhappy kitten, cuddling the wet ugly thing to his chest before eyeing Jeremy as he sneaks off and handing the kitten over to some girl named 'Jill'. She's only named jill because Leroy gave her that name. Then he's off following Jeremy with a sway of his hips and a toss of invisible hair.

Chai! It is delicious. Jeremy flicks on the electric kettle and leans against the kitchen counter, smiling brightly at Leroy as he walks in. "Having fun?" he asks. Moments like these, it's hard to tell whether Jeremy is a bitch, or maybe he's just /that/ oblivious. Doubtful even Leroy's nutted it out yet. "Don't you just wanna take them all home?" Jeremy does. You can see it in his eyes.

Leroy places a hand on his hip and angles a look to Jeremy as he enters the room and just throws himself down in one of those uncomfortable couches in that staff room. He continues to stares at Jeremy before offering cautiously. "Yes, yes I do…Jeremy honey, I want to take all the fluffy things home and dress them in pussy chanel but darlin'…" He drawls. "Where would we put them?"

"I'm sure they'd find a spot for themselves," Jeremy says, rather chirpily, then smiles more soberly. "I'm just wishing they could all have a home, don't mind me. Besides, I already got enough problems with cat hair with the kitties we already got. Chai?" Jeremy moves to set up mugs and such. He himself is dressed just as simply as Leroy, with navy T-shirt that has the shelter's logo on the back, and casual jeans and sneakers. As usual, it all kind of hangs off him, but at least he's since upgraded to vegetarian rather than flat out veganism, and the cats are enjoying their usual non-vegan foods, thank goodness.

Leroy arches an eyebrow and rubs a hand over his smooth head and just snickers. "Just like all the other cats that find spots hunh?" He sighs and rolls his shoulders as he stretches out his arms and gives a tiny nod. "Oh please! - Speaking of cat hair, I have this splendid cheetah print material that just came in honey."

"What do I get to turn it into this time?" It's a good-natured question rather than the possible snark, shooting Leroy a raised eyebrow look over his shoulder. Chai chai chai~. Jeremy moves on over to hand Leroy his mug of tea, sitting down beside him on the couch. "I was think—" And whatever Jeremy is thinking? Well, he's cut off. Because the door slams, and Surly Teenager #4 is storming through, almost at a run, heading from the backroom with all the cages, and out the side door without so much as a glance towards the two couch-sitting men. Jeremy rolls his eyes. That's pretty normal, and he thinks nothing of it. "You know, I think /all/ of these children need more yin for their yang."

"A very stunning body suit, naturally. Something to wear with some…denim trench dress I'm thinkin', walk on the wild side naturally…" Leroy muses out loud, blinking as he reaches out for his tea, eyeing that running person with a scowl. "…HEY! Walk don't run! It's a song you lil' crimnal!" He bellows out before sighing and sitting up a bit straighter before blinking at Jeremy. "…yin for their yang, no what they need is somebody to take a belt to their lil' asses…jeeeze louise."

Jeremy slowly raises a hand when Leroy yells, wincing. "This is a non-yelling zone," he reminds his roomie, patting his shoulder. "The kitties get alarmed. And they're not so bad, really." A pause. "Okay yes they are, you'd think they'd never cleaned out a litter tray before, or that it'd give them SARS or something."

Leroy pushes his way up to his feet, sipping his tea and eyeing Jeremy before cringing and hunkering down some apologetically. "I'm sorry, I almost forgot." Then he's frowning and staring in the direction that kid went, taking another sip of tea. "Well. I'm sure the shi-crap they deal wit' most of the time ain't kitty…but still ain't no excuse. Hmph."

"It's just a matter of beating some work ethic into them," Jeremy says with a quick grin, sipping his tea. In the backroom, the meows that usually are faintly heard from here are just that little bit louder, enough that Jeremy spares the shut door a quick glance. "Hear that? They're all offended."

Leroy tilts his head to the side, setting his tea down and frowning. "They don't get offended when I sing the divas, they won't get offended from…me yelling at somebody to slow down, c'mon. Might as well tell 'em to stop baiting the kittens." He tosses his invisible hair again.

With a look of amusement at the invisible hairtossing, Jeremy nods his agreement, sets down the tea, and moves to open the door. And here's the thing. The room is empty of the Surly Teens, and while it isn't unusual for this room to be empty from time to time, the reason as to /why/ it is empty is plainly obvious.

Because it occurs in the form of FLAMES! There's a somewhat chemical-like smell underneath the smoke that is just now starting to make the room hazy. "Holy damnit Christmas!" is Jeremy's exclamation of surprise. The door from the front room opens opposite him, and it is not!Jill, who takes one look at the fire and screams.

Leroy peeks around Jeremy when he does not hear any 'dude, chill' or 'oh god, here comes the hippie' or any of those usual greetings, but he sees the fire and then he sees the not!Jill and his reaction happens in two parts. Part one: Grab the roomie's shoulders and tug him back. Part Two: Shut the door with his foot and then stare at Jeremy for a moment. "Dude. Did you slip something herbal into my chai so that we're both trippin' or was that for real?" He needs to check.

That is a good question. Jeremy stares, wide at at Leroy for a moment, before reaching to open the door. The sound of FLAMEYFLAMEYFLAMEY fills the room, and he shuts the door again. "It's not just us." A pause, then he gasps. "OH MY GOD THE CATS!" He flings himself back at the door, only barely remembering to open it as he goes to race into the room-on-fire.

Leroy takes a moment to eye Jeremy when the first answer is not 'oh, of course not Leroy, I would never put herbal crap in your chai'. "You had to CHECK?!" He asks incredulously before a hand flies to his chest when he hears the crackling of the flames and he glares. He doesn't have time to point out he didn't agree to volunteer to get burnt alive, because Jeremy is flinging himself at that door. "…Oh my GOD MY ROOM MATE!" And he follows him bravely in! Pausing only to run back into the staff room, unplug the tea making pot and then bringing it with him - what, the kettle is on it!

The haze is even worse than when Jeremy tries to imbue his bedroom with calm via incense, and skids to a halt, coughing and waving his spindly arms around as if that will dissipate the smoke. Wincing as the fire just seems to get angrier, catching onto furniture with suspicious ease, Jeremy moves to the cages most in danger, distressed cats pacing and hissing as he picks up a smaller cage. "It's okay, come to Mommy Jerry!" Not!Jill? Has long gone, let's hope she called the fire department.

Leroy is coughing into his shirt, which has been pulled up some over his nose as he flails with one arm and tries to find a good place to dump the tea, brow furrowing as he dumps it all out over a chair and it does /nothing/. "Oh hell…" His attention goes to rescuing the cats really, trying to find a carrier and moving to the well groomed, freshly washed cats - naturally - and coughing and wheezing. "C'mon babies…" He takes a deep breath and then another, he's not scared, really. (Yes he is)

And the cats meow, and Jeremy coughs and has watery eyes as he struggles his way back out of the room, cage in arms, through to the staff lounge. He kicks open the (partially opened and unlocked) sidedoor, running through the alleyway to the front of the shelter, setting down the cage. Not!Jill has a phone in her hand and looks shellshocked, saying something like "I call they're on their way oh my god" while Jeremy waves at her to hush now, pointing at the cage he's set down. "Look after the cats," he says, then looks back at the shelter. "I'm going in." He waits for not!Jill to go, "NO, DON'T DO IT", but instead she nods mutely. Some people. Still, determined, Jeremy goes racing back the way he came, grabbing a cat carrier as he goes.

Leroy -sighs- as he gets his first bunch of cats outside, flailing some at how they are digging claws in and he /will/ be bitching later about the kitten putting runs/snares/holes in his t-shirt as he eyes not!Jill. "Oh mah sweet six pound baby jesus…here." He plucks the kitten off his chest and shoves it at the girl before setting the carrier down and whirling around to see Jeremy go back in. "The hell…Jeremy! You stop riskin' your life, right this instant boy!" Argh, best friends suck sometimes. "Dayum, dayum, dayum…" Back in he rushes, starting to sweat now and get light headed, kicking the kick-stop to keep that door open as he blinks to try to clear his eyes and find more kittens, coughing.

Kittens kittens everywhere and… lots of fucking fire. Jeremy is mimicking Leroy's tactic now of pulling it up enough to cover his nose - reasonably easy, it's a large shirt - but it's ultimately not so helpful. He tries to duck under the rising smoke as he goes, urging scared kittens and cats and assorted felines into his carrier, picking up those that don't fit and reluctantly leaving behind those he simply can't bring with him. He turns to see Leroy head back in, and muffled, he says over the sound of burning, "There's a thingy" This is a really bad time to have a mental blank as to what those things are called. THE THING. YOU SPRAY IT. WHITE STUFF COMES OUT "Extinguisher!" Yeah, that. "Out front. I think."

Leroy seems to be torn for a moment. Safety > Being a Hero ya know, but…it's Jeremy and while he's only a fan of his own personal pussies…he has to think of the cats as well. He points at Jeremy and glowers over the edge of that shirt he has pulled up. "…nng." Then off he goes running, arm coming up to cover his nose as he doubles over, takes a deep breath and continues on for the /front/ where he can find the Thingy. Pausing to snatch up a stray cat though, on the way, a very ugly cat.

And out we go. Jeremy seems to be coping a little better with the smoke - ducking and running seems to be the correct tactic, and he stumbles again outside as not!Jill looks on, hugging a kitty and tearing up. Jeremy tries to think of some sort of awesome heroicy line to say, but, his lungs feel like they're on fire so he only chokes a bit before moving back to the shelter. By now, smoke is pouring out of the backroom door, and there's like. One more kitty in there. But Jeremy takes a step and feels the heat of the fire and staggers back. It takes a lot of bravery to step into an inferno, don'tchaknow.

Leroy now has a tingy and he would be spraying it…but he's trying to hold on to a cat and he can /hear/ another damn cat meowing. Not the best day ever as he comes running out to shove the ugly cat (tis hairless) at Jeremy, coughing and hacking a bit as he asks muffled. "Did you get 'em all?" Hugging that extinguisher to his chest.

Jeremy hugs the /not/ ugly cat to himself, shaking his head. "There's another one," he says. "I—" He casts an uncertain glance at the door, and winces at the incessant meowing coming from inside. There's the sound of glass breaking due to the heat, and the sound of this gets a /squeak/ from Jeremy. "Maybeweshouldwaitoutside."

Leroy stares at Jeremy, tunnel vision really…he doesn't even hear the glass breaking he is just staring. "…wait outside." Starestarestare. Looking visibly singed and blacker than he usually already is. He can be calm, really. Ignore the CLAP OF THUNDER that rolls? Peals? Across the sky and the fact that he's glowering and rain starts falling has nothing to do with the. Tirade that begins, rapid fire speech really, "…I'm already black enough!" And "WHAT the HELL right you got to /decide to get scurred now/?!" He holds up a hand. "NO, don't answer that, where's the damn cat?!" Ignore the flash of lightening or the fact that not!Jill continues to cry.

…freaky. The panic of raging inferno and helpless kittens and angry friend and even the fact is kind of hurts to breathe manages to get put on hold for a second as Jeremy glances around, eyeing the sudden onset of POURING RAIN as Leroy flips. "Cage five," Jeremy says faintly, turning his head to look at Leroy and blinking, slowly.

Leroy takes a deep breath and then another, rain steadily falling. So now he's wet, black, and man as he runs back into the building, shirt tugged back up and he's in there for quite some time! Cage five indeed. Not!Jill's kitten is probably meowing now to try to get this juvenile human female to stop /leaking/.

"Please don't die or whatever, Leroy," Jeremy mutters, now shivering as the rain comes down harder, still holding the hairless kitty as it mewls and mewls to be put somewhere drier. Helpful people have stopped, one throwing a jacket over the cage to keep the kitties from drowning, and the carriers are sheltered anyway. In the background, the wail of fire engines comes closer and closer. Jeremy shivers a little more, drawing in a harsh breath— okay he may need to get that checked out as a coughing fit attacks, him passing the cat to the nearest person as he attempts not to throw up.

Leroy comes running back out eventually, eyes blood shot from smoke damage and he probably doesn't have a voice but he has a cat under his shirt, clinging weakly as he falls to his knees out in the rainy alley and pushes the cat…out, it probably looks wrong though. Holding it up by the scruff of it's neck and the rain does start to taper off some by now as he looks utterly exhausted and crooks a finger to Jeremy. Fireman are yay! And he's too tired to leer or ask about their hoses, fire extinguisher is long set aside.

"LEROY!" That comes out more of a croak, but it was meant to be a yell. Totally. Firefighters are now rushing past both men and into the building as Jeremy moves quickly to crouch in front of his friend, taking the cat off him. "Are you okay— you need a medic— did— are you okay?!"

Leroy now falls over onto his side, gently though - must not dent the dome, okay? Cat is safe. Best Friend is safe. He blinks slowly and rasps out. "For this. We eat. Steak." Deep wheezing breaths. "And watch. Documentary. On. Michael Jackson." Deep wheezing breaths. "And if. Ever watch. CATS on. Our tv. Will wax. You in. Your sleep." And now he's just going to close his eyes and hack up some icky smoke damage phlegm, while reaching out to try to grip his BFFs hand. True Love.

Jeremy gives a burst of surprised laughter, but nods - and stops that, because, dizzy. "It's a deal," he agrees, gripping Leroy's hand. "You're totally my hero." And now a medic is rushing over, focusing on the downed black man and Jeremy shuffles back a few inches to give him room, just nodding absently when they're told an ambulance is on it's way and they need to get checked out and yaddayadda. Jeremy just kind of wants a glass of water, but whatever.

…and so the news will read 'GAY MEN SAVE LOCAL PUSSIES' - And Leroy will not be able to go to a club for a while and their number of house cats will probably increase.

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