2010-06-13: I'm Blue (The Amazon)



Date: June 13, 2010


I'm In Need of a Guy… his name? GRAYZAN!

Cont'd from R.I.P.

"I'm Blue… I'm In Need of a Guy"

Yanomami Village

And then… everything was black…

There's no sun in the sky, the fires are burning low enough that they're only coals. The Yanomami have either curled into their hammocks for the night or gone out patrolling the surrounding jungle. Looking over to her left, Cody widens her eyes at what she sees and scrambles upward.

"Holy zombie Jesus…" she breathes as she watches some… what are they… something that got past the guards and seem to go unnoticed by the rest of the Yanomami. "… Jo? Jo are you?" She reaches forward just as the woman disappears.

Vines, branches, tree trunks, and moss, covered surfaces race past. Orientation is nearly impossible as the ground below speeds up even more. Faster and faster it moves, blurring together in an awesome array of streaked together colours.

And then the blue ass comes into view.

A glance around can easily identify a number of different similar asses. All belonging to a rather large species of baboon. Or monkeys. Or baboons. Who knows? Who cares?

All Jo cares about is her current state. She'd blacked out at some point mid-fight with Cody only to find herself being carted down one of the many tree trunks of the jungle by a monkey entourage who have, ingeniously, tied her (using vines… tricky monkeys!) to a board she's being carted on by several of them.

Blue asses, a bunch of blue asses running past Cody and into the trees. Looking around, the blonde just gapes at the Yanomami sleeping, patrolling, generally doing absolutely nothing about these monkeys(?) stealing a member of their party.

"God damnit, do I have to do everything about here?" She complains as she begins to run into the jungle, following the kidnappers. "Hang on Jo! I'm coming!!" She yells after them, "I uhm.. I'm sorry for trying to kill you!!" Jumping up onto a vine, she tries to swing… unfortunately it's a fairly pathetic attempt and she just kind of dangles from the tree.

A warcry sounds throughout the jungle, sending hordes of birds flying from their roost in a mass exodus to get away from whatever it is that's bellying across the valley. Another one is heard, this one much shorter, and while there are no more birds to take flight, something is definitely moving through the trees at a high velocity.

The swish, snap, swish of something traveling at high speeds in the branches above might strike fear into those who are unaware, but to those who know what it is, it is a welcome sound, the sound of triumph, the sound of pure awesome, the sound of…


The man comes barreling out of the trees, beating his chest as he flies towards Cody and the ground, landing amidst the troop of blue asses. They scatter, knowing this man who has come to stop them, and he beats his hairy chest viciously, dark, tanned skin exposed to the elements, hair flying wildly in the wind as he shakes his head and lets out another warcry. He wears nothing but a leotard down below, there in order to protect the Jungle Jewels from all those leaves and branches he has to make his way through as he parades throughout his kingdom. Letting out a few grunts, he turns on the spot, scattering dust behind him with his feet as he turns on Cody, freezing. Another grunt, and he moves forward, movements almost like that of a gorilla, and once he's near to her, he grabs her hand. "Me Grayzan," he says, thumping his chest twice, and he points in the direction of Jo. "Me rescue!"

Jo gulps and struggles against the vines, pulling on each of her limbs in turn, her face contorting with the effort. "Let go of me, you stupid… blue ass.. apes!" Or baboons. Or monkeys. Or gorillas? Once again, who knows?

"CODY!! Move quickly!! I think they're going to eat me or something!!! AND THE TRYING TO KILL ME PART WILL BE FORGIVEN IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE!!!" But then the direction of the monkeys isn't towards their nest. It's towards something else— something off in the distance often mistaken for a mere mountain. They're off towards a large, now-smoking, volcano!


The commotion, the birds leaving, the animals running and then the hairiest mostly nude man in a loincloth she has ever seen lands in front of her. His bellow clears the vicinity of every bit of wildlife, including bugs. Cody's jaw hangs, her eyes as wide as saucers. Then she's grabbed by the big gorilla he… Grayzan? Blink. Blink. "You Grayzan, me… Coooooo-dy?" Her voice ends in a squeak.

The soldier shakes her head to clear it, obviously this is some kind of joke. Whoever this man is he — Jo's scream snaps her out of her train of thought and Cody gives a panicked look toward the apeman and leaps up onto his back. "Let's go Tonto, we got a … Jo to rescue! DON'T WORRY JO I'M COMING!!" Her bellow to her friend might come at the cost of some of the hairy man's hearing, "Sorry, sorry… Let's get after those blue ass bitches, come on!!"

"Me Grayzan! You Coooooo-dy!" the half naked wild man says, his voice even ending in a squeak just like hers. Hey, if you're gonna teach the gorilla man your name…

As soon as the woman hops up on his back, Grayzan bucks for a little bit, but he soon becomes accustomed to it. It's quite obvious that he knows there is danger afoot,a nd when he sees the blue ass baboonorillakeys headings towards the now smoking volcano, he lets out a shriek and pounds the ground— after which he takes off at a rather alarming speed, leaping up onto a nearby vine and getting a good amount of momentum going…. only to let go and go flying through the air! He makes it look easy, even with Coooooo-dy on his back, as he swings from vine to vine in pursuit of the blue ass baboonorillakeys.

And the baboonorillamonkeys try to move faster as they're pursued! THey know Grayzon, and they're aware of what a formidable opponent he can be! "OOo ooo eee ahaha!" one of the monkeys calls out to the front of the pack! To which the leader monkey calls back, "OOo ooo ee ahaha?!" With great alarm, the monkeys move faster, but try as they might, Grayzon and Cody are gaining on them!!!

Wide-eyed, Jo sits up as much as her bonds will let her to see a man swinging on vines. Rationality and good-army thinking lose hold and she screams— is this the monkeys' plan? To pawn her off to some ape man?!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!" Grayzan's cry into the jungle is drowned out by Cody's scream of fear as they leap from vine to vine like something out of a Disney cartoon. "People aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaren't suppoooooooooooooooosed to aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"

The obvious answer would be to close her eyes and not look, unfortunately logic has gone by the wayside and the fear has taken over, freezing them open. "I'mgonnadiei'mgonnadiei'mgonnadie…" It's hew new mantra and as they close in on the blue ass baboonorillakeys (and the volcano) it's the only thing keeping her half sane.

"Hang on Jo!! Don't let them throw you in!!" She calls out ahead of them. Not like Jo really has a choice in the matter, but it's verbal encouragement.

"AaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAHahAHaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" is the fierce warcry that comes from Grayzan, who skips one vine altogether in favor of getting to the next one. It causes a little jolt in the timed rythym, and while he's used to it, Cody may not be expecting it. He's gaining on the blue ass baboonorillakeys, his archenemies of the rainforest, and he's going to make sure they don't do anything to their new captive! These two new females in his turf are strange and intriguing, but Grayzan will stay the course! He must protect this land!

When he's close enough, he takes an extra long swing on the vine, launching him and Cody through the air… and right into the middle of the baboonorillakeys. If it works, his plan is kick a couple on his way in, and hopefully cause them to drop Jo— and even then, there's even more hope that he'll have time to catch her, if his plan works, and all the while keep Cody on his back.

Several of the baboonorillamonkeys squeal as they're kicked from their perch on the trunk, tumbling down into the oblivion underneath— the ground is no where to be seen— hitting it with a solid POW several seconds later. It's a long way down, folks!

Sure enough the board Jo is tied to is dropped, cracking some as she continues to strain against her vine bonds. "Quick, CODY! Your knife!"

But the baboonorillamonkeys are relentless. Those that weren't kicked are congregating around the humans, zeroing in on them. The baboonorillamonkeys bare their teeth angrily— hissing at the humans and speaking in the secret monkey language of ancient times, "OOh AH Uhh Ooo ah!!" which can be roughly translated to <GET THOSE PINK THINGS!> as the head baboonorillamonkey points at the people.

Knife? Without letting loose her hold of Grayzan, Cody's hair growns and begins to feel around her body (and some of Grayzan's) until the hilt of a knife is found. "Wow… Hey Jo! I DO have a knife!!" Then she closes her eyes and concentrates, the hair looping around the end and bringing it into Jo's line of sight.

The hair grows and grows, weaving around and between the baboonorillakeys. When it finally reaches its destination, the large pointed end is dropped a narrow margin from Jo's head, possibly slicing a little bit of her hair in the confusion. It doesn't exactly occur to the pilot/soldier/agent that Jo can't reach it, or that she may have given the enemy a handy tool to use against them. "Okay! Cut yourself loose!!" Cody? She's hanging on for dear life to the apeman.

His plan somewhat of a success, Grayzan focuses on taking out the other monkeys, coming to a landing on the trunk and skidding to a halt. He lets out another warcry, which is returned by another warcry— out of nowhere, a man in a yellow leotard goes flying by, some woman yelling "TARZAAAAAAAAN!" as he does so. Grayzan stares after them for a moment, before he's snapped by to the present by the sound of the monkeys talking. Beating his chest and letting out another warcry, he dives at the nearest monkey, his own teeth bared and growling as he begins to tussel with it.

The knife in front of her face does little good for Jo, try as she might to sit up to take the knife, she's bound and out. One of the babaonorillamonkeys, however, is all too happy to take it off Cody's hands… er… hair. "Oh ooo ah oooo!" he says angrily as he stabs at the air, <BACK PINK TH— " but it's too late. The monkey is knocked off his feet by Tarzan and the knife flying from his hand. The monkey bares its teeth as well sending a shrill screech into the jungle space and pushing back against Grayzan.

Fortunately the knife falls just shy of Jo's hand. She stretches her fingers hard and… she has it!!! Using an unfortunate angle, she slices the first vine (and a little bit of skin) and manages to unbind the others in turn. In short order she's standing up on the trunk wielding a knife which she brandishes to the captors behind her.

"Hey! No wait — I — Hold still!!!" Cody protests loudly as the wild apeman begins his battle with his arch enemy. The already panicked screaming only grows in anxiety as she's tossed around while she attempts to keep clinging to his back. "i'mgonnadiei'mgonnadie…" the mantra begins again as the once brave blonde squeezes her eyes shut and tightens her grip around Grayzan's neck and back.

The baboonorillakeys begin piling onto Grayzan and his passenger, an activity not recommended for viewers at home. With a great effort, the animals pull the blonde from his back and she is tossed to the wayside. Tossed from a height of over 150 feet. "HOLY ZOMBIE JESUS ON A STIIIIiiiiiiiiiii………" Cody's screams die into a quiet echo as she falls to the forest floor.

Jo's eyes open and she's on the floor of the jungle. No trees. No trunks. No blue ass monkeys. Dizzily she shakes her head, wholly unaware of what just happened. Her clothes are as they were when her and Cody chatted about everything. Rubbing her eyes, she glances at her arm where she'd cut herself when removing her bonds. There is no cut. "C-c-cody?" Raising a hand to her forehead she props herself into a sitting position. "Sooo dizzy."

The mostly drained gourd of spitcohol is laying turned over between them. The pipe? It'd been finished a looooong time ago. Long before the fight, the blue ass baboonorillakeys, and… Grayzan?


"Yeah… "

"I just had the weirdest dream…"

"Yeah… me too. Maybe this was a bad idea…"

From a firepit a little ways away an Elder Yanomami grins to herself as she chews another bit of mango and spits into a fresh gourd.

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