2010-06-11: It's BLING, Baby!!



Guest Starring:

Big Shirl, Tina, and Ricardo (All NPCd by Sydney)

Date: June 11, 2010


It's been a bad day, but there's a blessing around that last corner.

"It's BLING, Baby!!"

Shirl's Big House of BLING!

The street is bustling— a hub of activity in the centre of Harlem. Today it's exceptionally busy as New Yorkers begin to venture into the somewhat warmer weather— representing the dawn of spring following the cool winter and dank spring. It's on this block that a particularly busy store occupies a corner. Shirl's Big House of Bling is actually quite full even at this hour in the day. The store is lined with mirrors, racks of clothing, and colours of various sorts, upon the insistence of Shirl, the store's owner.

Currently no one is being blinged; rather, a kind of musical interlude is transpiring as Proud Mary blares through the salon's stereo system.

I left a good job in the city
Workin' for the man every night and day
And I never lost a minute of sleepin'
Worryin' bout the way things might've been

With open windows, the music spills into the very street, but inside its heralded by several dark-skinned stylists dancing and several clients sporting looks of various sorts. It's like a Friday party here today.

It's been a day of trial and tribulation for a certain young heiress. Too many wrong turns, too much running, and oddly enough a puddle in the middle of the street.

She's began her day by looking for a goldfish, not just any goldfish, the goldest of the goldfish. Fancy variety of course. She didn't know where she and George had bought the last ones, she didn't want to have to call him to find out. Had she called Jaden he would have possibly just bought her a petstore… but that's not what she wanted. She wanted a sparkly gold goldfish.

She's come to be convinced that they don't exist in Manhattan.

There's a taxi, and then a bus, no subway (she can't abide subways) and then a lot of walking. When the wimpering mess steps into Shirl's she's head to toe covered in Manhattan streetwater, dirty, makeup running, and carrying a belly up goldfish in a bag.

"Excuse me? C-c-c-can I-I u-u-u-se y-y-y-our ph-ph-phone?" She stammers between hiccups and sobs.

Big wheel keep on turning
Proud Mar— ziiiiiiiiii

The music comes to an abrupt stop amongst the loud echo of reverb.


The party has stopped.

No one dances; no one sings.

Everyone is staring at Hallis, the little mess that she is. Shirl herself gapes a the muddied and downright soiled heiress before turning to one of her stylist, "Tina, sugah, can you hook the poor luv up wit da phone?" Her hands are placed on her hips before she steps towards the small blonde, "Wooooowhee, child, I ain't seen a mess like you in ages— "

As these words are uttered, Tina returns with a cordless phone in hand. "Are ye here to deliver somethin' or somethin'?" Her eyebrows furrow as she glances back at Shirl and then at the rest of her colleagues. Lips purse as she evaluates Hallis' appearance, "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. How you ever gonna get a man's wit those cuticles?" She clucks her tongue before emitting a loud whistle.

"Yeah, gurl, there ain't be no lovins' till yer cuticles get some rubbin's," Ricardo agrees. "I wouldn't touch those hands wit ten-foot-poles!"

"Oh fool, Ricardo~" Tina waves a hand flippantly. "We all know you ain't into the ladies anyways— "

Before Hallis takes the phone, she looks down at the hand not carrying the bag with the dead goldfish. Tina's right, her index finger has a torn cuticle. It's the straw that breaks the camel's back.

"ALLIWANTEDWASAGOLDFISHFORMYTANKANDIDIDN'TWANTTOGETLOSTANDDIE!!!" The tears and snot come pouring out of her face like rivers. Then she holds up the bag carrying the floating fish to Tina and starts bawling again. "ITWASAPERFECTFISHANDIKILLEDHIM!!! STUFFLIKETHISISN'TSUPPOSEDTOHAPPENTOmei'mon…tele-te-television?" Her voice dies down into a squeak as she says the last word.

Sure enough, just as she says it, Ora comes on the tube in the corner. A scene shot almost a month ago between her and Stuart.. and Hallis just points to the screen, then to her face, then to the screen again.

Tina reaches for the bag and glances at Shirl rather haphazardly. She cringes at the dead fish now in her possession before chucking the baggie (still containing the dead fish) at Ricardo.

"AIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" he shrieks loudly in a very high-pitched effeminate tone as the baggie is thrown up into the air. Chaos breaks out over the dead-fish-in-a-bag. Various stylists shriek as the fish is chucked into the air several times over again and again. Finally the fish baggie winds up in the trash.

Now that THAT is over…

Shirl manages a rather broad grin. "Oh come now, Sunshine~" she chimes "~a wrong turn is just a blessin' round the corner! Televi'son 'r not, ya gotta know that's true— wrong turns bring us all blessin's in disguise," she looks around the room at her various employees and clients, "don't they honeys?" She winks as she continues to size Hallis up, as if anticipating some great transformation right before her eyes.

Bounce. Bounce. Bounce.

Hallis watches as her poor dead fish gets tossed from one set of hands to another. Hallis sniffles and hiccups as it finally lands in the garbage. Her perfect fish, Mister Etoo, the only fish named for someone still in her life and the only one that died due to her negligence.

As she's addressed by Shirl, the dainty blonde's lip quivers a little and she sniffles again. It's a very unladylike habit that would earn her a stern look from her grandmother. "I — A blessing? Really?" Her voice is almost hopeful as she looks up at the large ebony woman. The petite woman tries to manage a smile but all the happens is a pitiful grimace and fresh tears falling from her eyes.

"Well you're here ain't ya?" Shirl brightens even more before winking at the blonde. "Besides I can't let you leave Shirl's House of Bling without being BLINGED! Baby, that would nevah do!" Theatrically, Shirl raises a single arm to her forehead, before issuing Hallis another bright smile.

Tina reaches for Hallis' hand and attempts to place her into a pump-chair in front of a large mirror. "Now let's see 'ere." She tilts her head as she straightens a single dirtied lock, unafraid to touch it all things considered. "I say we do a wash, cut, and then a fresh colour— whaddoya'll think?"

"I think those nails ought to be our priority— " Ricardo objects as he reaches for Hallis' hand and clucks his tongue. "Broken cuticles will never get Mister Right into the picture." Pointing at himself he becomes all too animated with a large toothy grin, "And I should know, girlfriend! I swear it's true! Mmmhmmm."

"See… a blessin' already!" Shirl raises both arms sky high now. "Come on people, let's get some music up in here, it's Friday and if we ain't boppin' Shirl's won't be hoppin'!"

The music is blasted to a Journey hit of all things:

Just a smalltown girl
Livin' in a lonely world
She took the midnight train going anywhere
He — He — He —

Almost as soon as the music starts, it starts to skipping, which is just fine by Hallis. "You should turn that song off anyway, it's stupid and old… and depressing." Reaching into her purse, she pulls out a CD and gives it over to one of the stylists. "Play that, it's old too… but at least it's fun." The disk seems to be a bootleg copy of an album, odd. "It's called the Solar Twins… put it on track 4."

Then she looks into the mirror, directly at Shirl. "Who is bling anyway? Is that a stylist here?"

The song isn't exactly the salon's style; it's more New York fashion week catwalk than Shirl's house of Bling, but no one is about to object. Not now, not with Hallis in such a state of disarray. "Bling darlin' isn't a person. BLING is a state 'o mind. A way 'o bein' that is" snap "fun" snap "fast" snap "and fabulous." Shirl prods Hallis towards one of the chairs— Tina's chair.

And Tina goes about her work.

Meanwhile Ricardo has turned his attention to Hallis' nails as he soaks her fingers in warm water. Clucking his tongue he pulls up a chair. "Don't worry hunny, you are gunna be FAB-YOU-LUSS. Emphasis on YOU because that's the way it should be, right?" he snaps, much the same way his boss did. Yeah, there's a lot of attitude up in this place.

Hallis' disk is taken out before the song even has a change to make it through the intro and in its place, something more appropriate to the House of Bling is popped in. With a tentative smile, the blonde socialite glances to each of the stylists as her transformation begins…

Shake it, shake it

"Uhm… Before you get too carried away," Hallis starts, her voice a little shaky with fear, "…I just want you to understand, I want more of an uptown bling."

Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now
Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now, show 'em how we do it now

Her blond hair is teased high up on her head, making her look like a woman that just stepped out of a 60's surfing video. Her makeup is bright; coral lips, sparkly green eyeshadow with hints of white and glitter, and to top the look off there's a pair of giant gold chandelier earrings dangling from her ears.

Slinking through the store wearing her tight orange skirt, ruffly multicolored top, and striped orange and green mohair mini sweater, she pauses and catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. An expression of pure horror passes over her features…

"Whaaat were you thinkin', girlfriend?!" Tina sputters at Shirl as she pushes Hallis back towards the dressing room, readying her for a re-Bling. Tina clucks her tongue. "No. No. No. The next one will be mine. Uptown all the way, girlfriend~" she snaps.

Let show the world we can dance
Bad enough to strut our stuff
The music gives us a chance
We do more out on the floor

By uptown, Tina might have been talking about Harlem because when Hallis steps out of the curtained area again she has pigtails lifted way up off her head using wires. The spiraled tendrils of hair spills down to graze the top of her shoulders and it looks like it might be a fun hairdo… for someone 3 years of age.

She's outfitted in the latest in velour fashion. A bright fuchsia short sleeved hoodie, a cotton candy pink tank underneath, and a pair of velour culottes that make her miniature frame seem even tinier. Of course, there's gold. Lots and lots of gold. A rapper from Miami might be jealous of all the jewelry dripping from her ears, neck, arms, and fingers.

"Uh— somebody call the doctor because those puppies are sick!" Ricardo retorts with an overexaggerated drama queen roll of his eyes.. His eyes narrow as he clucks his tongue and drags Hallis back into the dressing room. "No. True bling has to have more attitude… and more… sophistication yo! Harlem ain't uptown, baby doll~"

Groovin' loose or heart to heart
We put in motion every single part
Funky sounds wall to wall
We're bumpin' booties, havin' us a ball, y'all

For a man with an eye for True Bling, Ricardo might be stuck in the 70's. Stepping out onto the catwalk that is the salon's floor, Hallis is decked out in gold go-go boots, a tight rainbow colored spandex dress with flowing sleeves. Reaching up to her shoulders, she tug the stretchy material a little only to let it snap back and then smooths her hands down her body.

Hallis is finally getting into this… but the look is all off. All off.

"HA! Ricardo, hunni, I dunno what you were thinking," Shirl encircles Hallis and shakes her head. "Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmmm." She clucks her tongue. "The girl looks like Rainbow Brite~ Rainbow Brite!" Her cheeks flush a little. "C'mon sugah! 'Ole Shirl can make this 'on better— "

Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now
Shake your groove thing, shake your groove thing, yeah, yeah
Show 'em how we do it now

It's like magic.

When Hallis steps out the final time, it really looks as though she's been kissed by angels. The soft lace mini dress that Shirl outfitted her in is demure enough to make her look like a lady but still sexy enough to make her feel like a woman. It's something that's almost impossible to do, given the socialite's overall appearance of being a perpetual 12 year old.

A bright smile crosses her features as she gazes at herself in the mirror and cheerfully exclaims, "Oh my god! I'm so hot!!"

Shirl offers Hallis a big smile. "It was always inside you gurl. You just need to reach in and show it! Never be afraid to sparkle," she winks. "and never ever be afraid to add a little Bling."

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