| Jaden Cain | |
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| Portrayed By | Justin Long |
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| Gender | Male |
| Date of Birth | June 11, 1985 |
| Age | 23 |
| Zodiac Sign | Gemini |
| Aliases | J-Dubb, Cainframe, The New Million Dollar Man, Richie Rich, Madrox, Billion Dollar Brat |
| Place of Birth | New York City, NY, USA |
| Current Location | New York City, NY, USA |
| Occupation | Professional Slacker / CEO of Evolution Software |
| Known Relatives | Cynthia Walters (mother), Edward Cain (father, deceased), Charles Walters (uncle) |
| Significant Other | Enter Your Measurements Here for a Shot at a Date with Jaden Cain! |
| Known Abilities | Replication |
| First Appearance | How To Tell Your Mom She Sucks And Not Hurt Her Feelings |
Unmotivated community college guru Jaden Walters had plans to just skate by in life. Armed with his Skinemax Star mother and a tendency to talk his way both in and out of trouble, he was set on his path to become nothing more than a professional slacker. When his father, software mogul Edward Cain dies, he leaves both the company and his fortune to Jaden. Thrust into the limelight and given the responsibility of running a Fortune 500 company, Jaden's in for the time of his lives.
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Table of Contents
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History
October 11, 1984. Edward Cain launches his Evolution Software. In celebration, he gets to spend some quality biblical time with aspiring actress, Cynthia "Candy" Walters. That was their only night together. When Edward awoke the next day, there was no Cynthia to be found. No phone number, no anything. So he did the only thing he could possibly do and that's focus on Evolution Software.
Nine months later, on June 11, 1985, Jaden was born. Apparently, Cynthia felt something for Edward because she kept the pregnancy from him her entire term. It wasn't until Jaden was born did she inform Edward of the child. By this time, Evolution Software was already climbing the 'charts' in terms of computer programming and started to make some serious waves. Cynthia didn't ask for a dime. She only wanted Edward to know about his son. She sent pictures, a letter and an assurance that she would keep things quiet. Even from Jaden.
Jaden grew up in a fairly abnormal household. Raised by his mother and her neighbors, he never really had any sort of father figure. Nor did he ever really learn too much responsibility. His mother was blossoming into a fine, B-Movie level actress, which lent her to more late night cable television films than anything actually worthy of mention. All through middle and high school, though, he was the most popular of his male friends as they all seemed to be fans of the Bikini Hero, of which his mother was the buxom star of.
Jaden never really wanted to know about his father. He never had a reason to. He formed a tight bond with his mother to the point where she became his best friend. They spent many nights laughing it up watching her movies and poking fun at each other. All the while, Edward Cain's business was signing contracts all over the place. Their new software programs were revolutionizing the computer imagery and global positioning world, which meant big bucks for Mr. Cain. Contracts with the US Government, Sony, Primatech Paper and others were signed and the money started rolling in. He was on his way to being a software mogul and he loved every minute of it.
School life for Jaden wasn't nearly as fun as his home life. He never really found anything that he was good at. Nothing really seemed to grab him. He maintained a stellar C average and even some of those grades were because he worked his gift of gab on the teachers. It seemed that he was headed for mediocrity and he didn't really seem to mind. He breezed through high school the same way his mother breezed through her movies. One grade after another. He had no high hopes, no real purpose to graduate other than his mom saying he had to.
He did manage to graduate though and his mother was as proud as ever. So was Edward. Not that he was a known person at the graduation. He simply invited himself to the ceremony and watched his son walk across the stage. While Jaden went out to party with his friends, Edward and Candy talked. Edward wanted to use his money and influence to get Jaden into some Ivy League college. Candy didn't want that. They talked. They argued. They threw hissy fits. In the end, Candy walked away with that victory and Jaden could move on to his next destiny, unhindered by his father's interest in his life.
Community College. If there was ever someone that could excel at being in community college, it was Jaden Walters. He somehow found his calling at being something of a 'Welcome to College' guru for the school. It was unofficial, of course, but people (especially freshman) seemed to gravitate to him in terms dealing with people. He was a people person. Always had been. But there really never was anything more to it than that. Not really anyway. Not that he was aware of.
It wasn't until his 20th birthday party did he find out he was something more than just an everyday, normal slacker. A fight broke out between his mother and one of her useless boyfriends on the balcony. He couldn't get through the crowd in time and Bastard Boyfriend smacked Candy down with a drunken fury. She stumbled and went over the railing, but managed to grab on. The drunken fool was intent on getting rid of her though, but it wasn't her time to die. Jaden rushed to the railing, shoving the boyfriend out of the way and reached over to help pull her back up. The drunk boyfriend moved to attack him… but Jaden tackled him to the ground, while Jaden laid into his face with a series of right hands.
Wait. Three Jadens?
With the boyfriend out cold, Jaden helped Jaden drag his mother back up to the balcony. She was a bit too busy clinging to her son to realize that there were three of them on the balcony with her. As the Jadens helped the crowd to disperse, Candy confronted her three sons. Neither one of them could explain what happened and neither could Candy. They're bond was too strong for something like this to break, though and they grew even closer. Candy found herself hugging her Jaden as the other two faded away.
For the next two years, Jaden spent his days training and learning to control this special ability. Not for any other application than using it. Period. He certainly wasn't looking to become some sort of superhero or anything, but he wanted to explore every dynamic of this ability he could. He found that with concentration he could split off duplicates of himself and send them to places near and afar. Then, with even more concentration, absorb the memories of them into his own mind. It was like being two, three, seven places at once. How cool is that?
December 31, 2006. New Year's Eve. The night that everything changed for Jaden and his mother. Edward Cain was found in his apartment, dead, from some highly unnatural causes. Upon his death, his lawyers were instructed to find his son and deliver to him the contents of his safety deposit box. The most important thing in there being his will.
They found Jaden the next morning, sleeping on the floor next to his mother. Both were trashed and apparently on the verge of dual hangovers when the knocking on the door opened their eyes painfully. Jaden and Candy spent most of the meeting trying to sober up, while the lawyers spilled the good and bad news. The bad news was that Jaden's father, Edward Cain, was dead. The good news is that he had left his fortune and the company to Jaden: No Strings Attached.
So this is where everything stands now. Jaden is in the middle of stabilizing his special ability. He's also the sudden new CEO of the new Fortune 500 company, Evolution Software. The news has been broken that software mogul, Edward Cain, is dead and actually fathered an illegitimate child with a somewhat bad actress. Both mother and son have taken on the 'Cain' name, out of respect for the late Edward Cain and the fact that it sounds much cooler on TV.
Timeline
Cain Comix
If Jaden Cain's life was a comic book, these are the arcs that would be following him. This can be cross referenced with the Timeline, but the stories themselves are categorized by arc. Shamelessly stolen from the Storylines section, yes.
Rising Son
Jaden wants more out of life than cars, women and money. There's been a spark of maturity that's pushed him towards wanting to do the right thing instead of the Jaden thing. This is the story of his rise to the status he wants to achieve.
Ability (Replication)
Overview
Jaden has the ability to replicate himself. Each duplicate, or Ditto as Jaden likes to call them sometimes, comes initially with the skills, talents and features of the original. This gets tricky in the way that with the duplicates being exact copies of Jaden, it's difficult to pinpoint which one is the real one. The trump card that Jaden has over the duplicates is the fact that they're all psychic constructs from his mind. He mentally creates each and every duplicate that pops up into existence.
When duplicates are created, the process is instantaneous. Having a couple of years to play with his ability has given him the luxury of learning and using it well. Upon creation, the duplicate is linked psychically to Jaden's mind. The duplicate's free will can be overridden by Jaden Prime, if necessary. Though, arguments with himself tend to happen often, based on the clashing of the same personalities. On that same token, this also allows them to work together in the most almost perfect of ways.
There are some limitations to the replication ability though, as there are with all powers. Theoretically, Jaden can produce an infinite number of duplicates. However, he has created no more than 25 as of recently. Since the duplicates are created psychically, they pop (literally) into existence within his immediate area. Never more than a couple of feet away from Jaden Prime. The fact that all of his duplicates are created with free will can be something of an issue at times, considering that he knows how himself is and that could lead to problems communicating with each other.
A more personal "catch" to this ability is the fact that it also seems to be linked to his emotional state. In times of stress or great emotionalness, a duplicate or two may just show up without Jaden consciously created them. Because of the psychic link, Jaden also ends up with extreme headaches whenever one of the duplicates feels pain. It's almost as if the manifestation of pain is transferred directly to his mind. If a duplicate dies, it's very likely Jaden could end up unconscious or in worse shape.
Getting rid of duplicates is something that pretty much comes with the territory of creating them. Jaden can simply absorb them back into his mind without needing too much cause. He can just, well, think them away. However, this becomes harder the farther away they are. The range for instantaneous de-duplication is only a few feet. This turns into a problem when a copy decides to run off and party. On the upside, though, he can use his psychic link to keep his copies from doing anything too stupid as well as transfer information from their brains to his. It's like being everywhere at once.
With the duplicates being psychic constructs from his mind, they're not real. But they are real to Jaden. This allows him to "absorb" the duplicates into himself for different stunts and use their abilities, strength, skills, etc. For instance, he's capable of using a duplicate to heal himself of a bullet wound. The duplicate is made of psionic though-waves, but has taken physical form and it actually takes serious concentration to absorb a duplicate. This isn't the same as just making them go away, because then they float back into the ether of his brain. Absorbing duplicates is the act of actually pulling them into his body for different things.
Replication Stunts
The special ability of replication is pretty self-explanatory. However, here are some of the tricks that Jaden has up his sleeve. Or Jadens have up their sleeves.
- A Better Me: Any damage suffered by Jaden Prime can be fixed by absorbing one of the duplicate constructs into his body. Cuts damage taken in half. Difficulty: Great.
- Body By Jaden: Jaden can replicate his body parts. Difficulty: Superb.
- Capcombo: A series of quick punches and kicks from Jadens all on the same target coming from different directions. Difficulty: Great. Defense: Dodge Roll.
- Clone Saga: Confusion is in the ranks! Dittos pop out of Jaden at random! Jaden has totally lost control of his ability.. and his duplicates! Difficulty: Fantastic.
- Ditto: The act of creating a single duplicate of himself. Or creating them one by one through conscious thought. Each Ditto created needs its own roll. Difficulty: Mediocre.
- Evil Twin: Unfortunately everything doesn't go Jaden's way all the time. Every once in a while Jaden produces a Ditto that just is the complete opposite of everything that Jaden stands for. Difficulty: Fantastic.
- Great Wall of Jaden: Jaden creates a wall of his duplicates all linked together like a human chain. Difficulty: Good.
- Guess Who: Another downside to creating duplicates of himself that are all psychically linked to his brain is that sometimes Jaden doesn't know if he's the original or one of the duplicates. Difficulty: Great.
- He's Out of Control: Sometimes the Jadens don't particularly care to listen to Jaden Prime regardless of his power over them. This stunt constitutes the possibility of Jaden Prime not being able to control his duplicates or them having a stronger mind of their own to do their own thing. Difficulty: Superb.
- Higher Learning: Jaden is capable of learning things that his duplicates learn instantly through the psychic link. This takes into account things they learn physically such as martial arts or fencing and mentally such as anything boring and educational . Difficulty: Great.
- Hundred Hand Slap: Another theft from the Street Fighter game Jaden's stolen E. Honda's Hundred Hand Slap. This can either be done by multiplying his hand or arm and slapping someone around. It can also be done by making duplicates of himself and proceeding to slap that way. DIfficulty: Great. Defense: Dodge Roll.
- I Spy: Using strategically placed duplicates Jaden Prime has full wide range senses. Through the psychic link he can see what they see smell what they smell hear what they hear… the whole nine yards. Difficulty: Great.
- Many Me: The act of creating a group of duplicates all at once through conscious thought. Duplicates are created five at a time with this stunt. Difficulty: Good.
- Mirror: Considering the duplicates are psionic constructions of his thought-waves sometimes he can create duplicates that aren't "right". This happens when he creates duplicates without being focused. They tend to come out backwards everything from their attire to their speech is done backwards. Difficult: Great.
- Self-Distract Mechanism: A group of Jadens run around the immediate area to cause an annoying distraction. Difficulty: Average. Defense: Willpower.
- Shoryujaden: Instantly creating a series of 4 Jadens as he performs his own version of the Shotokan Uppercut move made famous by Ken Masters. They follow through after his initial uppercut attempt either adding to the pain already inflicted or trying to connect on their own. They disappear after this move. Difficulty: Good. Defense: Dodge Roll.
- Stronger Than A Locomotive: There's strength in numbers and Jaden can use this stunt as long as duplicates are created to boost his strength by absorbing the duplicates at the same time he's exerting force. Difficulty: Good.
- Stunt Double: The act of creating a duplicate to take the brunt of an attack rather than dodging. Difficulty: Great.
- TMI: With Jadens all over the place it's quite possible that Jaden Prime could have information filling his noggin at rapid speeds. Sometimes the massive influx of knowledge is too much for the guy and he passes out from the onslaught. Difficulty: Superb.
- Where's Waldo?: Jaden creates duplicates of himself that all act and move the exact same way. A hiding technique that makes it hard to find the "real" one. Difficulty: Superb. Defense: Perception.
- Xerox: Jaden is capable of replicating inanimate objects. Anything he replicates is exactly the same as the original. Difficulty: Superb.
Recurring Roles
The art of creating replicates of himself can get tedious. Especially if they all come out the same way he already is. Gradually, though, Dittoes have been taking on a few traits of their own to the point where they're actually recognizable. With a bit of extra concentration, he can summon forth these "pre-made" versions of himself should the need ever arise.
| Award Winning Jadinne |
- Jadinne: Perhaps something of a stereotype, Jadinne serves as the Metrosexual version of Jaden. All about fashion and looking fabulous. Would probably make for an excellent wedding planner or something.
- J-Dizzle: Another stereotype, J-Dizzle has wigga' written all over him. Claiming he's from da' streetz, trying to translate his horrific bad usage of the ebonics language style is probably not the best idea, but what can you do, right?
- Ja'Din: Believe it or not, but this Ja'Din believes himself to be a Jedi Knight. There's an outfit in Jaden's wardrobe specifically for that. Of course, he doesn't have any Force abilities or what not, but that doesn't stop him from thinking it. And freaking out the people around him.
- Jaden Q. Urkel: Definitely the smartest Jaden there is, he's also the most geeky. Unable to do anything by recite scientific exploratory statements and whiz through math problems in his head.
- Jaden Bond: The British Super Spy… in Jaden's body. Apparently, a part of Jaden is something of a James Bond fan. So he's been rebuilt and shaped into one of Jaden's Dittos. He's good, he's suave, he's probably not to bad of a spy. The problem arise when he's more Jaden than Bond.
- Gayden: Just as the name states, this is the homosexual ditto that represents the frustrated and possibly repressed sexual tension that Jaden has locked deep within. Or! This one just likes to make Jaden look bad in some strange form of fashion. One thing of note, though, is that Gayden happens to have an obvious crush on Eric.
- Jaden Stoppable: Definitely the remixed version of Ron Stoppable thanks to the whole grabbing of a Naked Mole Rat. He's got blonde hair. It's weird.
Personality
Nothing ever really seems to phase Jaden. This isn't to say he's emotionless or anything, but he just sort of has this constant aura of being calm and collected. He may be freaking out in his mind, but on the surface he'll be trying his hardest to remain in control of the situation. This usually leads to him losing control of situations and ending up freaking out anyway, but at least he's willing to put forth the effort to try and, at least, look like he's got everything under control. Which is the case sometimes.
He's a talker. That's what he does. He's not particularly suave or smooth or fast talky, so much as he's just good with words. He's charismatic, is what he is and he uses this to his advantage as much as possible. Beyond that, he comes from a generally laid back lifestyle. He comes standard with the usual slacker sensibilities: irresponsible, addicted to fun, unable to commit… that whole nine yards. He applies this to his life and tends to just take the days as they come.
He's very slow to anger. In fact, to the point where it seems like he's never really angry. He holds grudges though and will make sure to seek revenge on those that may hurt him or his mother. She's his best friend and he'll do anything for her. Everyone else is, in a sense, expendable. Not in a ruthless or heartless manner, though. It's just the way things are. He's not a malicious dude, but nor is he exactly in the running to become a great hero. He looks out for himself and his Mom and those are the best interests that he cares about the most.
He possess a sense of wit and sarcasm that's probably only rivaled by a man known as Peter Parker. So look out.
Relationships
Jaden Cain has a lot of people that surround him. They've been categorized into different sections via this guy's crazy mind. Some people have even managed to make it into two groups, which means that Jaden must really care about them. Anyway, this is just a list of all those wonderful people that Jaden loves to spend time with. Or is forced to spend time with. Oh, these are just people, dammit! Read on!
Family Matters
Candy: Mom. Mommy. MINEEWLF (Mom I'd NEVER EVER EVER Like to F***) and many other names. Perhaps this is Jaden's most official BFF, but it kind of doesn't count since they're related. Technicalities are a bitch. Anyway, she's the Mom and if anybody even dares to try and hurt her, there will be so many Hells to pay. The bond is strong between these two. As is the Force.
Uncle Charlie: Cynthia's loser of a brother and Jaden's favoritest hero in the whole wide world. Well, not counting fictional characters. Uncle Charlie is a loser and he shows up from time to time to show Jaden the Way of the Slacker. He's a jack of all trades and could actually be something of a good member of society if he chose to get a job. Instead, he travels the world, sleeping on couches and with girls and tries to live his life without actually having to spend a dime. Which he has a lot of since Jaden gave him 100,000 dollars for his birthday. (NPC)
Friends of Insanity
Eric: Good ol' Eric Walker. Not that they were ever really buddies, but they went to high school together. They weren't ever enemies, either. It was more of this whole Ken & Ryu type thing. A lot of history is between these two and who knows what secrets lie within the flashbacks of their minds. Which one is better? Only time will tell… that it's Eric.
Elena: Jaden considers Elena to be a friend. Maybe. She's supposed to be working for him, but he never really has her do anything important. Or anything at all. He literally just likes to look at her. He still has a small crush on her, even though he's in love with Jane, but he'll never act on it. Besides, as much as he's a rival for Eric, he's not a blocker.
Daphne: Jaden doesn't know too much about this woman, except that she kept him from getting thrown out of the Zoo and hooked him up with the best pet ever in life… a Naked Mole Rat. Jaden now has mad love for Daphne and the Bronx Zoo and looks forward to writing many checks to help that place out.
Shaggy: Shane has been best friends with Jaden since they both got detention in third grade. They let their powers combine and planned the most daring escape ever. It failed, but they ended up in their favorite place in the whole wide school: The Cafeteria's Kitchen. They bonded and became the Dynamic Duo. Shane plays the Shaggy to Jaden's Scooby very well. He even has a complete wardrobe matching the cartoon character, which was given to him by Jaden as a present. Shaggy wears the bell-bottoms with pride.
Cass: has not spent too much time with Jaden. Lucky girl. However, Jaden's strange mind has equated her to Velma, when it comes to the Scooby Gang. She's the smart one. Why? Because she owns a bookstore and wants to use Seville Medical. So he figures she has to be smart.
X-Men
Lachlan: Jaden has only met Lachlan once. Well, twice if you want to count his brief stint as Batman's latest evil threat: The Scotsman, but already Jaden has started to view him in a less than normal way. He is the reason that Jaden even created this X-Men section of his brain in the first place. Codename: Scottish Wolverine
Gene: Jaden has only met this kid twice. Well, once. He met him when he invaded Elena's apartment (with a key) and then he saw him at his benefit party. With a real life WORKING R2D2. It was crazy. Thus, he has become known as a member of the X-Men. Codename: Forge
Ramon: Jaden met this dude for the first time after heading to Seville Medical to do an inspection of the goods and services there. He's Elena's father and Jaden totally hired him to be… whatever Eric comes up with. Apparently, he can read minds. Codename: Professor X
jPhone
Evolution Software's answer to the iPhone, Jaden Cain carries around the only working model for this. It's not available to the general public (or the rich public) yet, since Jaden can't find another company to manufacture it, ever since he botched up the deal with Motorola. That's a long story. Anyway, it comes with twice as many features as the iPhone and is the ultimate communications device. But that's not the cool part. The cool part? Ringtones.
Default: Prozak - Dexter Freebish
Text Messages: Mission Impossible
Address Book:
Cass: Billie Jean - Michael Jackson
Christian: Everyday Normal Guy 2 - JonLajoie
Elena: Buddy - Musiq Soulchild
Eric: My Way - Limp Bizkit
EvoSoft: Smooth Criminal - Alien Ant Farm
Georgina: Girls Ain't Nothin' But Trouble - DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
Jane: Sorry, Blame It On Me - Akon
Kelly: Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects
Mom: Stacy's Mom - Fountains of Wayne
Shaggy: Everyday Normal Guy - Jon LaJoie
Uncle Charlie: Charles In Charge - Relient K
Ringtones Subject to Change Based on IC Events
Femme Fatales
Somebody like Jaden always ends up with a conglomerate amount of girl troubles. The reasons can come from any direction, but mostly end up all being Jaden's fault. Somehow. He can't help that he's something of a lech. But at least he isn't crude like some Scottish Potato Wielders. It has to be that crazy, goofy, charming personality that has him knee deep in chicks. NOT LIKE THAT YOU PERVS!
The Hit List
There comes a time in every man's life when he just has to hit that. And well, Jaden is no exception to this rule. Here are the ladies that he's managed to actually… well, y'know… "do it", with.
Kelly: He doesn't even know her last name. She was his secretary for his first month as the CEO of Evolution Software. They kind of broke up, which led to her quitting and all sorts of craziness. Jaden is in the process of reconciling this relationship. (NPC)
Diana Mason: One of Candy's co-workers, she and Jaden hooked up while she was in town for a Bombshell Reunion. Both of them have vowed to never tell Candy about this event. This is going to their graves. (NPC)
Georgina Bloomberg: Something of his latest conquest, these two have only been seen in public together, twice. No paparazzi pictures were snapped, but you can bet that Jaden's not hanging around her for riding lessons. (Special Guest NPC)
Trish: Jaden's latest and bustiest sexretary yet. They have a very on again, off again relationship. However, she's not attached to this job like Kelly was, so the chances of them not having their flings in Jaden's office on a bi-daily basis are very slim. (NPC)
Jane: Jaden got busted. Relationship is over. But he still hit that a few times. Whether this can be salvaged to be a friendship? It's up in the air, right now.
Doublemint Twins: Jaden met these two on the set of a Throwback Doublemint Gum commercial. They spent the night. Things happened. Then Breakfast In Bed. After which more things happened. (NPC)
Catherine: One of the remaining board members, Catherine has cougar written all over her. Which is probably why she and Jaden partake in bi-weekly visits to each other's homes. Meow~ (NPC)
The Wish List
Even for the man that can buy his way into anything and everything he wants, he can't really make things happen with some of the ladies he encounters. That's not going to stop him from wishing it were so. Here's those ladies in his life.
Elena: His unofficial partner in crimefighting, this girl is something of a crush for Jaden. He knows in his heart of hearts that he doesn't stand a chance and only pursues it more out of spite and to cure her of her Eric Condition. He recently bought her father a house, so he's hoping that he can hit that soon. Chance: 60%
Cass: The hottest version of Giles he's ever had the pleasure of laying his eyes on. She's too smart for him. This is a fact known by each and every one of his Dittos. But never let it be said that he doesn't have a thing for geek girls. If she wore glasses, he'd be all over her like Hungry Hungry Hippos. Chance: 35%
Niki: He saw her. Proposed on the spot. Got denied. But he's hoping she'll have gotten over this whole "I'm Married" issue by the time he sees her again. Chance: -25%
Nadia: Jaden doesn't know anything about this chick except for the fact that she's got a nice rack. It is that rack that makes him want to get to know her… intimately. He also wants to have lots of sex with her. She's got a 'Man' problem though, which doesn't bode well for the Cainster. Chance: 14%
Lifestyle
Wardrobe
For someone like Jaden, there's no telling what he's going to do or wear at any given point in time. Especially, now that he's got himself a near-endless amount of money to spend ever so frivolously on whatever he wants to. Here's a look into the billionaire playboy's closet.
| Item | Acquired | Blurb |
|---|---|---|
| Might Max Baseball Cap | Gift from Elena | The legendary cap from the Mighty Max television series. Rumor has it that the bearer of this cap can open portals to different dimensions. Jaden tries all the time with very little success. |
| Batman (Adam West) | Purchased | Using his mother to pull some strings, Jaden managed to get his hands on a replica costume from the Batman series of camp. Utility Belt included. |
| Scooby Doo | Gift from Mom | Graduation present that Jaden can still fit, since he doesn't seem to be growing any taller. It's more than just a costume, as the head is hooked up to Puppeteer For Dummies style controls, included by the special effects team that worked on Bombshell. |
| Bond Tuxedo (Sean Connery) | Purchased | Having always been a Bond fan, Jaden went out and bought Sean Connery's dinner jacket and matching attire. This seems to be solely worn by the Ditto: Jaden Bond. |
| Penguin | Purchased | Bought and paid for as a gag for his own medical facility benefit, this is nothing more than a giant penguin suit. Cute, but awkward in a strange way. |
| Alvin Seville | Purchased | Not an exact replica, this is the costume used for Jaden & The Chipmunks. It's a giant red turtleneck with a large yellow J on it. It comes with a matching red cap. |
| Daniel-San | Purchased | The karate gi and bandana from the first Karate Kid movie. |
| Roger Rabbit | Custom | Animatronically correct, Hollywood made cartoonish costume. Working ears and everything. |
| Statler & Waldorf | Custom | Life size replicas of the classic Muppet Hecklers. |
| Indiana Jones | Purchased | Complete with roleplaying whip with sound effect action. |
| Ron Stoppable | Purchased | Shock-absorbent and tear away pants. |
| Darth Vader | Custom | Designed by Candy's costuming fling. |
Car Collection
A lover of television and movies, Jaden has taken it upon himself to basically put together a fleet of vehicles from his favorite things. They all are complete and exact replicas of the original vehicles. When you're rich, you're rich.
| Vehicle | From | Blurb |
|---|---|---|
| Ferrari 308 GTS | Magnum P.I. | The red stylish car of Magnum P.I. was one of Jaden's first purchases. This exact replica even comes with a few scratches and a small dent, just to give it that 'car chase scene' feel. This tends to be his normal method of transport. |
| General Lee | Dukes of Hazzard | Heroic vehicle of awesome, this is a favorite vehicle of Jaden's. The doors are welded shut like the original. The interesting thing to note is that Jaden refuses to drive this car alone. Not until he finds himself a Duke brother. |
| Ford Gran Torino | Starsky and Hutch | A lover of classic television, Jaden watches old episodes of Starsky and Hutch on a regular basis. So much so that he's fallen in love with the car. Whenever he needs to play good cop, bad cop… he's driving this thing around the city. |
| Mystery Machine | Scooby Doo | Jaden owns the The Mystery Machine. Nothing else needs to be said. |
Evolution Software
Evolution Software is currently one of the leading, if not the top tier, in software development. They currently possess contracts all over the world for a multitude of different software programs for computers of all operating systems. All of its products are reverse compatible with older computer models and are updated on a constant basis to allow for utmost perfection in processing and use. Evolution Software is always growing and changing, thus the name.
As a business Evolution Software does amazing things financially. The Board of Directors knows what they're doing and are fiercely loyal to the company, wanting to see it prosper without a single snag in the plans. The company itself rakes in profits in the millions, though the net worth of the corporation lends itself to being in the billion dollar range. It has spent numerous years in the Fortune 500 and shows no signs in losing its steam. Look out, Microsoft.
As far as the product line goes for Evolution Software, they got their start in tracking and satellite imaging. However, since then they've broaden their horizons to encompass a variety of different things. From edutainment and gaming to market research to graphic design… it seems like Evolution Software is all over the computing world.
| Name | Position |
|---|---|
| Jaden Cain | CEO / President |
| Laurence Lancaster | Silent Partner |
| Shane "Shaggy" Andrews | Vice President |
| Eric Walker | Unofficial Executive Vice President in Charge of Lancaster Relations |
| Ramon Gomez | Telepathic Consultant |
| Elena Gomez | Public Relations |
| Gene Kensington | Research & Development |
| Ingrid Marie Rivera (Miss Puerto Rico 2008) | Jaden Cain's Secretary |
| Candy Cain | Scooby Snacks Catering |
| Stone Cold Steve Austin | Head of Security |
Evolution Software is an IC company. People are welcome to app into it or have connections with the company in some form or fashion. Just contact me first to talk it out!
Seville Medical
Seville Medical clearly had more than just "some" money going into it. A philanthropic endeavor by Evolution Software, the state-of-the-art facility, fitted with equipment developed by Lancaster Electronics and run by EvoSoft's latest software, is geared towards helping the poor and indigent in New York seeking affordable health care. The building is actually built as an entire compound, with several towers linked together by a variety of walkways for every floor. Each tower has about 15 floors each, with wide, one-way glass windows that keep people from the outside from looking in, but don't prevent people in the building from looking out.
The main building is where the patients are first checked in and admitted, an expansive waiting area lined with white, gray-veined marble. There is a desk in front for people to check in, flanked by two doorways leading into the security centers of the building. The Emergency Room branches to the left, while Outpatient Care branches off to the right. If one walks straight through, there are two hallways set with elevators, the right corridor leading to elevators that led from floors 1 to 8, and the left corridor leading to the elevators that led to floors 9 to 15. There is a directory set up in the front hall, much like how large skyscrapers in New York have theirs.
Jaden and The Chipmunks
Jaden and The Chipmunks serves Jaden's musical purposes. The initial group itself is something that came about one night when Jaden and his college buddies were higher than all get out. After discussing the social ramifications of singing chipmunks on the world's economy and coming to the conclusion that it was obviously a plot by the American Government to brainwash everyone and cause love and peace for the utmost cute degree, Jaden came up with the idea of starting a band to do the same thing. As a cover band, they travel the nation, performing whatever songs they can memorize and bring a little joy to people. All their concerts are free and pen to everyone. Though, some parental guidance is suggested.
- Members
- Jaden Cain (Lead Guitar and Vocals)
- Shane "Shaggy" Andrews (Drums)
- Christian Naples (Bass Guitar and Vocals)
- Cover Songs
- Fight The Power (KoRn & Xzibit)
- Witch Doctor (Alvin & The Chipmunks w/ Chris Classic)
- Scars (Papa Roach)
- Girls and Boys of Rock & Roll (Alvin & The Chipmunks w/ The Chippettes) - Duet with the Ditzy Chicks
- Riot (Three Days Grace)
- Save Tonight (Eagle Eye Cherry)
- Jaden's Mom (Remake of Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne)
- My Bridges Burn (The Cult)
- Wooly Bully (Alvin & The Chipmunks)
- Kiss The Girl (Little Mermaid Soundtrack)
- Diary of Jane (Breaking Benjamin)
- American Idiot (Green Day)
- Original Songs
- We're The Chipmunks (Rock Remix)
- Wall Street Funk
- Aerodynamic
- Funky Munky
- Fandimonium
- Bouncin' (Bikini Hero Forever Soundtrack)
- Don't Tell Mom
- Double D's
Soundtrack
Main Theme: Good Day - The Click Five
Opening Credits: Saved By The Bell Theme
Slacker: Be Somebody - Fort Minor (featuring Lupe Fiasco)
Wannabe: Pretty Fly For A White Guy - The Offspring
Growing Up: Graduate - Third Eye Blind
Wishful Thinking: Prozak - Dexter Freebish
Manifest: Surfacing - Trust Company
Ditto: The Pretender - Foo Fighters
Evil Twin: My Evil Twin - They Might Be Giants
Lifestyle: Girls and Boys - Good Charlotte
Down To Earth: What I Like About You - The Ramones
Bros Before Hos: My Friends Over You - New Found Glory
Serenade: Butterfly - CrazyTown
Finished: Throw It All Away - Default
Morning After: Bye, Bye, Bye - N'Sync
Pimpalicious: Return Of The Mack - Mark Morrison
Security!: Men In Black - Will Smith
Quotes
- "Yabba Dabba Don't!"
- "Ruh Roh!"
- "Holy _ _ _ _ _, Batman." (Situational.)
- "Ultra Gear!"
- "Stop. Hammertime."
- "They actually gave me a check NOT to come back to community college."
- "Jawsome!"
- "Wowsers!"
- "Stay Tooned!"
Trivia
- Scooby Snacks are a personal favorite of Jaden's. His mother bakes these for him by the pound, so more often than not, he's munching on a couple of these. Yes, even during business meetings.
- Jaden and his mom are BFFs. This bond cannot be broken.
- Jaden has an unnatural obsession with cartoons. More often than not you can find him quoting, watching or generally being addicted to them. He's a big kid.
- Jaden smokes weed. To find out if you're high, do the official Weed Roll: +Roll Crime+Medicine
- Jaden's Phone Number: 238-9333 (WEED)
- Jaden's religion is Kryptonian. "In Zod We Trust."
- Ripley's Believe It or Not says: "Jaden Cain has one true ability, beyond his unknown evolved power. He can literally look at a female and guess their exact measurements, without fail."
- Jaden Cain's vice of depression is Yoohoo Chocolate Milk.
- Jaden now has a Naked Mole Rat for a pet. He keeps it with him at all times. In his pocket. His name is Rufus.