2007-05-16: Kangaroo Pizza


Elle_icon.gif and Simon and Monty

Summary: Elle is the coolest babysitter ever. And the scariest.

Date It Happened: 16th of May, 2007

Kangaroo Pizza

The Petrelli Mansion

Having made the requested deliveries of copious amounts of alcohol and illegal drugs to the Petrelli brothers, Elle Bishop finds herself in an odd position. With the key to the Petrelli family home, and her oddest assignment yet. Babysit. The blonde pulls up in her SUV, and gets out, heading up to the door. Time to meet the family. Key enters lock, and psycho enters house.

So, Simon and Monty. The angelic Petrelli boys, who happen to also be very intelligent, and know that when mommy and daddy aren't coming home, Something is Wrong. Likely, Elle has been given specific instructions NOT TO USE HER POWERS because the Kids Don't Know, and then unleashed upon the poor tykes so that they have someone responsible to look after them.

After Heidi gets done killing Nathan, /she's going to maim Peter./ It's okay, he'll heal.

The boys are there at the door, the Hired Help fleeing the house as soon as Elle's inside. Hey, they aren't paid to watch the kids, /except when they are,/ and now isn't one of those times. Heidi's supposed to be home! OR SOMETHING. "SIMON HIT ME!" Monty yells, punching his brother in the arm and /running away from Elle/ as Simon gives chase, proclaiming "I DID NOT, HE'S LYING!"

Elle was in fact NOT given such instructions. And did briefly entertain the thought of entertaining the children with an electrical show. Totally NOT involving them as targets as part of the demonstration. But she looks at the two boys, and the protest. First time Elle's ever dealt with children, really. "Both of you, come here!" the blonde calls.

What, /WHAT?/ First rule of dealing with children, if they're running away from you, they aren't going to come back. "He bit me!" Simon calls back to Elle, "And he hid my game boy, he's such a butt, he always does this!" It doesn't look as if they're too keen on complying with Elle, mostly because they're just not, and they're upset because something seems to be wrong and they don't know what. Suddenly, there's a thud from somewhere down the hall, and a couple seconds later, crying.

Elle blinks. She starts out that way. If one of these kids has gotten hurt, and Peter gets mad at her because of it, she's gonna kill it. No, wait. That won't work. Okay, this job BITES ALREADY. Clicking of heels on hardwood at a rapid pace precede the blonde. "-What- is going on down here?"

Monty is sitting on the floor, crying, with Simon standing over him. The older Petrelli boy looks up at Elle and says, "It wasn't me, he just fell!"

And Monty confirms this, holding up his arm. "I hit on the FLOOOOOOR," he bawls, rubbing his elbow, which probably isn't hurt much at all. It's just an ouchie, a little bruise, most likely.

Of course, Simon says, "I think he broke it!" With a big smile on his face, as if this is the coolest thing in the world, and Monty cries louder.

Elle points to Simon. "You. Sit." This isn't the "I'm a sweet girlfriend" voice. This is the "Company agent" voice. She moves to Monty, crouching near him. "Here, let me see it…" she reaches out for his arm, to take a look at it and see if it's broke. In Elle's world, if someone says a bone's broken, it probably is.

"No, /you/ sit!" Simon returns, unfazed by Elle's tone of voice. "You're not my mom, I don't have to listen to you!" Except for the fact that he does sit, arms crossed, as he glares up at Elle.

Monty continues crying, face looking as if it's about to melt off because it's so very sad. "I hit this part on the floor!" He explains, pointing at his elbow. "Is it broken, Miss Lady? Am I gonna die?"

"They're gonna /cut your arm off!/" Simon says. Hey, he's sitting, at least!

Elle reaches down, and feels carefully. Nope. Nothing broken. She shakes her head. "No, I think you're going to be okay." She sort of likes Simon, actually. In another situation, she might say something similar. She considers Monty. When the little things are crying, you pick them up, right? That's what she had to do with the puppy. But Monty is bigger than the puppy. Elle settles for reaching out and pulling the boy into a hug. She doesn't have a lot of experience to draw on, but hugs make HER feel better.

Monty sniffles as Elle says he's going to be okay. All right, he can like Elle, even if he's never met her before. "R-really?" he asks, wrapping his arms around the blonde girl because comfort is fun, and when he's looking over her shoulder, he can stick his tongue out at Simon, and ELLE WON'T KNOW. Take that, Simon, you big meanie.

Simon sticks his tongue out right back, turns around, and points at his butt.

And where Simon seems to take after Nathan, Monty is much more like Heidi, and, picking his battles, ignores his brother for the moment. "What's yer name?" he asks Elle. He's heard it before… The maid told them that Elle was coming over to watch them (and to be good) but Monty was playing video games on Simon's gameboy at the time

Elle looks to him. "Elle. I'm your uncle Peter's girlfriend." Now that the crying part has stopped, she looks over to Monty, then looks over to Simon. She motions for him to come over. All right. Members assembled. It is time for briefing.

"Elle, huh? Is that short for somethin'?" Simon asks. "Dad says you should introdcuse yourself with your full name 'cuz it makes a better impression." He's just making idle conversation, now. He doesn't seem to be acting purposely inflammatory - at the moment, anyway. He crawls over on hands and knees to sit in front of Elle. For the moment, it seems like the argument is forgotten. "I'm Simon, and that's Monty. Are mom and dad okay? Were there dinosaurs? I saw Jurassic Park. I bet they got eated by RAPTORS."

Monty starts crying again.

Elle looks back to Monty. WTF?! Did they surgically remove this kid's spine? Hey, that might be interest—no, Elle, focus. She scoops Monty back into hug range, and then reaches out and scoops Simon in too. Maybe she's pretending she's throttling them. Or smothering. Smothering is good. Deep breath. "Elle Bishop." She answers Simon. "I'm your babysitter for tonight, both of you. Your parents are both fine. Your daddy is with Peter. So…we need to talk about rules." Rules are important.

Hey, he's only six, okay? And some kids weren't tortured at a young age! Jeez, Elle, have some compassion or at least an approximation of it! "So your name is Elle? It's not like Eleanor or Ellen or Elsie or Ellfart or something? It's just Elle?" Simon asks. "Monty's real name is Monroe. Dad says mommy's name isn't Heidi but he won't tell me what it is. I think that's stupid. Do you like pokemon? I have all the cards. Even the foil ones that you only get sometimes. Where's Mom?"

"Simon, be quiet," Monty says miserably from Elle's arm. And the funny thing is, Simon actually listens.

Elle looks to both. "It's just Elle." At least, as far as she knows. Never seen her birth certificate, after all. "Okay. So, the rules are…" She ignores the bits about Pokemon…and about Heidi's location, which she doesn't know. Though SHE IS GETTING A CALL SOON. "Rule Number One. No killing yourself. Rule Number Two. No killing each other. Rule Number Three. No doing anything that makes me take you to the hospital. Rule Number Four. If one of you hits, pushes, scratches, bites, or ANYTHING ELSES the other one, I will do it to you, harder." Pauses to let them take this in. Elle Bishop is not a classic babysitter. "Now. Besides that, I don't have rules. You can eat whatever you want to. If you want something delivered to eat, I'll call for it. You can stay up as late as you want and you can watch whatever you want on television. AS LONG AS YOU FOLLOW THE RULES."

Whoa. Okay, that gets Simon's attention. He and Monty just kind of stare at Elle as she explains her rules. Killing is banned. Check. No going to the hospital. Okay, cool. ELLE FIGHTS BACK!? It's actually Monty who says it, which might be surprising, considering the fact that he's been such a baby so far. "You're the coolest babysitter /EVER,/" he says.

"I want pizza! WITH EVERYTHING! Can we get kangaroo on our pizza, Elle?"

It seems that the blonde girl has passed the test, since Simon and Monty really do behave for the rest of the night. Maybe they're both like their father, who knows? It becomes apparent that the entire running and arguing and hurting thing was something like an act, since they seem perfectly polite for the rest of the night. …Or maybe they just don't want Elle to kill them.

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