| Kevin Reilly | |
 |
|
| Portrayed By | Keith Nobbs |
|---|---|
| Gender | Male |
| Date of Birth | July 1 |
| Age | 23 |
| Zodiac Sign | Scorpio |
| Aliases | "Irish Kevin" |
| Place of Birth | New York City, NY, USA |
| Current Location | New York City, NY, USA |
| Occupation | Debt collector (among other things) |
| Known Relatives | Katie Reilly (mother), Moira Reilly, Jenny Flaherty, Edie Sobotka, Brigid McClatchey (sisters) |
| Significant Other | None who will admit it |
| Known Abilities | Tall tales |
| First Appearance | Re-Meet and Greet |
Kevin is a small-time criminal more well known for his information and connections than for any particular skills on his part other than his gift of gab.
History
Kevin Reilly's blood is felonious and he has followed right along the path of that his blood has laid out. His father is nobody and his mother doesn't want anything to do with her only son. Kevin has four older sisters who correctly think he's scum. He blew out of high school boosting cars to help his junkie friend pay off a debt to a gambling jerkoff. Before long he was sleeping on girlfriends' couches and stealing construction supplies for walking-around money. His big dreams of money, dames and fast cars seemed right around the corner. Of course, he still hasn't found the corner.
They call him Irish Kevin, so as to distinguish him from Big Kevin, Little Kevin, Kevin the Wop, Icepick Kevin, Dickhead Kevin, and Fireman Kevin, (although many of them are more Irish than he is). Kevin is from the depths of Hell's Kitchen and until he opens his mouth he sometimes gets mistaken for a Puerto Rican a lot because he has darker skin and black hair. The Black Irish were always blamed for every criminal element that the fair-haired could pass on to them, and Irish Kevin is the blackest of the Black Irish. A serial misdemeanant and subpoena-dodger, he's short but built like a side of corned beef. Kevin's big mouth and hustling ways began to land him at the bottom - always the bottom - of the schemes of Dominican drug dealers, high class cat burglars, Italian mobsters, and Japanese street racers. With savvy, and absolutely no luck, his movement was sideways rather than up. Eventually he got used to the gutter. And then, he sorta started to like hanging around the back doors of strip clubs and the kitchens of cheap pizzerias bumming food and passing along - and embellishing - stories that he'd heard on the street. Odd jobs, the odder the better, filled the time in between thievery and extortion.
Irish Kevin Reilly, two-bit hood, internet scammer, bartender, extortionist, bookie, short order cook, loan shark, busboy and golf-club-wielding one man debt collection agency became privy to the greatest secret possessed by all humankind when his second cousin Three Sheets McKenna told him to go and collect two grand off a fellow who had lost it betting like an idiot on the Jets. When the guy didn't answer his door, Irish Kevin knocked it down with a sledgehammer. Irish Kevin is a small guy and so he doesn't try things like kicking doors down. ("That is why you buy sledgehammers.") Of course the guy was pretty surprised and as a result he shot electricity out of his eyes and burned Irish Kevin so much that he fell down the stairs. It didn't help the guy in the long run, Kevin eventually did get that two grand for Three Sheets McKenna, but it did make Irish Kevin aware of the existence of supernormal abilities, which, considering his reading level was right at about the upper level of comic books, he took in stride fairly well. He didn't even keep his knowledge a secret. As a serial exaggerator, most people figured he was just making things up. Those that knew differently assumed someone would shut him up. Nobody has quite figured out how to make that stick, though.
But what changed the lives of so many others didn't really impact Irish Kevin's. The storyteller continued his storytelling, to whoever would pay - cops, gangsters - if you're in the small time, someone knows Irish Kevin and has heard something about what he said. Look him up, he's not that hard to find.
Timeline
- 1985 - Kevin is born.
- 2001 - Kevin drops out of school.
- 2002 - Kevin spends three months in juvenile lockup.
- 2004 - Kevin is implicated but never charged in an Internet scam.
- 2005 - Kevin is arrested but not convicted of stealing construction materials from a worksite.
- 2007 - Kevin discovers the existence of powers when he goes to collect a gambling debt from a guy that has them.
- 2008 - Present day, present time.
Logs
- September 2009. Re Meet And Greet - So this one time a Congressman walks up to me while I'm throwing monte within spitting distance of Alice in Wonderland, and I don't watch the news, those guys are assholes, and so I think he's just another Wall Street fat cat who thinks he can beat one more system. Monte is almost too easy, all you basically need is a sack marked "place money here, no pennies please" and a cop to rap the knuckles of anyone who tries to throw in any Canadian money or travellers checks…
- October 2009. Crime Pays For Itself - The first time I met Millbrook, I had a straight job, with taxes and Social Security and benefits and all that shit. Well…it was a straight job. All right, so maybe Scumsuck Rudy paid me in cash under the table to provide him with alibis while he was stepping out on his redheaded wife. Anyway, this blonde comes in one day, and when I say blonde, I mean super, SUPER blonde, right? And she's got a bag full of Mongolian Mike's and…did you ever meet Mongolian Mike. I'm pretty sure he's not Mongolian…
- IOU - Well of course Millbrook's one of those X-Men types, do you think hair grows that blonde for real? Check this out, I was in my apartment…okay, I was in Fat Franky Dellacava's apartment because I knew he was out of town on account of his probation officer found five thousand dollars worth of dope in his gym socks, when right out the window…
- Look Within - So Rudy canned me on account of me and Reno and the Greek clipping drunks too much, so I got a job washing up at the place, you know the place. Right, right. So anyway, this cop rolls up and starts squeezing me for info because his daughter's one of the X-Men types and she got kidnapped….
Quotes
- "You remember Skinny Jenny O'Connor, right?"
Trivia
- Buddy McLean looked like a choirboy but fought like the devil himself.