|Portrayed By||Adrien Brody|
|Date of Birth||February 12, 1980|
|Place of Birth||New York City, NY, USA|
|Current Location||New York City, NY, USA|
|Occupation||Junior High School Civics Teacher|
|Known Relatives||Billy Jones (father; missing), Mary Jones (mother; missing), Ghanima Jones (twin sister)|
|Known Abilities||Gyrokinesis, sneering|
|First Appearance||Like A Daffodil|
Lee's real name is Leto, can you blame him for going by a nickname? He's a junior high civics teacher in New York City.
Billy and Mary Jones loved comic books and science fiction. They met at a science fiction convention, had a Starfleet wedding, and their family business, a comic book store named "The Secret Lair", was their pride and joy. But what the world didn't see in these two eccentric young folks was an obsession. A dangerous one. Maybe it was an encounter earlier in their lives with the evolved still hidden, or a particular twist in a strand of acid they dropped at a Lord of the Rings-themed party, or a misplaced government document that ended up mimeographed in their hands, but both of them had become convinced that superpowers were real. Their whole lives were dedicated to this obsession, to obtaining such power for themselves - and when that proved unlikely or impossible, gaining them for their children. With the hard-white light of their madness visible like a beacon, they - and their twins Ghanima and Leto, named for twins in Frank Herbert's Dune series, became the catspaws for much more serious and dangerous forces.
The Joneses subjected their children to strange and dangerous experiments - dropped them off buildings into firefighter nets, while the other filmed. Put additives in their food. Exposed them to strange medicines, herbs, supplements. Even simple family games involved tests of psychic ability. By any objective measure, the Joneses were mad beyond belief.
The kids never saw it, though, thinking their parents merely eccentric, when they were old enough to understand. By the time their memory was sequential enough to understand what was normal and what wasn't, their parents had, after years of constantly trying, given up their more extreme methods of awakening super-abilities. Their parents' obsessions were disappointed, crushingly disappointed, though like the obsession itself, they hid it well from their children, and they certainly had sufficient and genuine love for their twins that their upbringing was only a few degrees off from normal. The twins saw their parents foibles about comics and superheroes as a shared interest, at first, then an embarrassing, mortifying mark of social ostracism, then, in their own ways, they eventually made their peace with it. Billy and Mary never gave up on the idea of their children becoming more than human, always trying this or that behind their backs, new treatments and chemicals in their food ("Mom never could cook.") and one day in 2004 the debt from one of their Faustian deals came due and they disappeared without a trace.
Lee was away at college, in UCLA, but he returned to his sisters side to grieve a loss that, unsolved and unresolved, he has never really understood. Ghanima honored her parents memory the way she felt they would have wished, turning her considerable business skills to saving the old, musty shop that had been the center of their parents lives. It is now more successful than when their parents ran the place. Leto, by contrast, wanted nothing to do with the comics that had always driven him crazy, and went back to college to get his Master's, for all the good that it did him.
Lee went as far away as he could for college and majored, as he explained to his mother, in "very thick books where people wear their underwear under their clothes, not over." His superior attitude wouldn't get him much in the job market, though. After his parents' disappearance and his return to the city of his birth, the only work he could find with his Masters' degree was teaching at a junior high school, not even in his field, a job he hates and finds tedious and pointless. His sister is always trying to draw him into geeky pursuits, but he still harbors a good deal of resentment over what he sees as a wasted childhood. (He does, however, play electric violin in what he considers "her" quirky hipster electro band, Mobius Ouroboros.)
- February 12, 1980. A bit after midnight, Leto Eomer Jones is born. His sister Ghanima Eowyn follows about an hour later.
- December 18, 2002. Leto graduates from UCLA with a degree in literature and a minor in philosophy.
- March 18, 2004. Returning from class, Ghanima discovers that the family store has either not been opened for the day or has been closed, and neither father nor mother are anywhere to be found. Nothing is missing.
- March 20, 2004. Billy and Mary Jones are declared officially to be missing persons. Investigation by Detective Benito Aceveda of the NYPD over the next few months reveals no leads. Eventually it is classified as a cold case and archived.
- June 18, 2004. His studies aborted before he could receive a doctorate, Leto settles for a Masters of Arts in humanities from UCLA.
- December 2, 2004. Leto is certified as a teacher by the New York Department of Education. He is hired for substitute teaching and internship over the next few months.
- March 2005. Leto is hired at John Philip Sousa Junior High School #142 in the armpit of the Bronx as a civics teacher.
2007. Present day, present time.
October 2007. Lee apologizes to Rochelle after she wrecks his office because it sucks. He gets shot with another dart, thinking that it's the setup when it's actually the punchline, and complains to Cass about it. He cleans his parents out of the store. He tells Ramon about the situation with only a little mockery. Lee meets Harry who has a lot more practice complaining about schools - and doing something about it. He went on a semi-unexpected first date with Joule and it was pretty much every romantic scene cliche possible. He almost busts Cam while he's holding but isn't perceptive enough. He works on a music project for school and discovers Joule has powerz. Just fucking perfect. He is then not shot for no reason. He discovers his parents have another, lower-case secret lair. He must grouchily acknowledge that this is just ironic enough to be great instead of terrible. Lee accidentally causes an ending montage.
- November 2007. Lee helps someone who got a beatdown. Lee has to cover at the store again and finally meets Peter, who is not appropriate for the campaign. Why is Lee hitting himself? Stop hitting yourself, Lee. He tells someone how bad it is. He asks someone to make it worse. Lee misses the point and then misses it when it is his point. He then sees things get a bit better... BREAKING! Lee finds out he has powers!! DEVELOPING!! By the way, he hates it. He really hates it. He is in another montage. This one is not his fault.
- December 2007. He hates powers some more but he doesn't hate Joule. On the other hand, he still hates comics because comics are terrible. On the other other hand, he doesn't hate Kory. A student lies but not to him. Lee also hates comic book movies. And he hates comics about the future. Lee hates people that take advantage of the students but…what?? It actually works out?! He doesn't hate Christmas, after all, Dickens liked it! So he and Nima are spending their holidays out of the house and he tries to be modest about it. Then he almost gets shot for no reason. He meets up with Bekah on New Year's Eve, but kinda forgot his current girl. Oops.
- January 2008. He's in a montage to start the year, damn montages! And he hates filk. He missed most of January due to my computer problems. Oops. Anyway, he was working on a project and doesn't hate Kory again. He was suspended for musically revealing he was ordered to teach the test, and while suspended, he was mean, I mean nice, to Joule for no reason.
- February 2008. Lee hates deathtraps, especially when they're not even HIS deathtraps. On escaping from someone else's deathtrap, Lee is knocked out of commission for a while. Then he returns to warn everyone that people who build deathtraps are stupid and crazy. Lee hates being too groggy on painkillers to enjoy makeup sex. and also he hates vigilante justice, but you know what he doesn't hate? New York City.
- March 2008. Lee hates lawyers or at least some of them. When are they going to get done "practicing" law? Basically, having powers is like having diabetes - it's a lifelong condition, but if you're aware of it and take steps to minimize it, you can have a fairly decent life, though of course, there are some things you'll never be able to do… Lee knuckles under to the lawyer because he is a wuss. I mean because he is concerned about his friends. That's it. Plus, he still hates comics. In conclusion, maybe there should be accommodations for people with powers, you know, like the ones for people in wheelchairs or blind people. Anyhow, Lee hates organized crime, and comic books, and time travel. Why not get things right the first time around? Kids are more important than time travel - why doesn't anyone get this? Lee likes show tunes but in an ironic way. He likes artists in a non-ironic way. Lee likes Bartleby the Scrivener. And he and Joule decide to move in together! Nothing bad could possibly come of that, right?
- April 2008. Something bad comes of it. Lee hates parent-teacher conferences. (Also he hates being in the future again around this point.)
- May 2008. Lee hates homeschooling particularly by wackos, but that's probably redundant. He also hates lame excuses for not coming to school and time travel, again. He therefore hates admitting he is wrong even though he NEVER IS.
- June 2008. Lee hates powers less than he loves education, and he also hates that he loves education more, so try to work that one out, smarty pants. He also hates all the moaning when time travelers die. "Weren't we trying to kill or erase him anyway?" But fine, whatever, he doesn't hate Kory so big deal.
- July 2008. Lee hates defenestration. What, throwing someone out a door isn't good enough?! And he hates powers. And being too groggy on defenestration-related painkillers to enjoy sex. You could just ask someone to leave instead of throwing them out a window, for god's sake! "Nice moves, mumbles!"
- August 2008. Lee didn't do much in August 2008 except get ready for school to start again. Already?!?!
- September 2008. Lee discusses things with Sophie and gets the wrong idea about everything, then he is in another montage but his sister is in this one too so it is her fault.
- Then a lot of things happened that will SOMEDAY BE REVEALED IN FLASHBACK. Objection!
- September 2009. Lee is in another montage that his sister is completely responsible for.
- October 2009. Lee hates launching conspiracies. Lee hates the Company, but not Angela. Wait, he probably hates Angela too. Lee hates superpowers but not Charlotte, or Kory either.
- "Okay, everybody sit down. Sit down please…we have a lot to get through before Friday's quiz!…Anthony, sit down. Yes. Sit down, please. All right. Neveah, yes. Sit down. Thanks. Now we start with the three branches of government and….sit down, Jan…"
- "Well, don't bring your friggin' dog on the Lindbergh kidnapping next time, for crying out loud!"
- "It's so fucking cliche! It's so…so derivative! The woman I care about has this fucking secret all along? Two comic book shop owners get tangled up with people with superpowers? The bad guy is telling the truth when he's talking crazy? A serial killer murdered his wife and now he's out for blood? What's fucking next? What's next? He meets the serial killer and it's his wife's boyfriend? Or maybe he becomes a serial killer himself? Who'd see THAT coming, excluding of course those who have read the back of a book in a grocery store in the last twenty fucking years?"
- "At least that Pinehearst place burned down, I assume because someone rubbed two thoughts together and figured out that insurance fraud would be a lot more productive than what they were doing."
- To a Company official: "Oh, people are being 'taken'? Shock and horror! I see your point. The competition is catching up to your strategies. What if they kidnap people for no reason more cheaply than you do? What if their secret underground bunkers are more attractive to consumers than yours? Do you think…do you think they'll take smaller bribes than you will?" He shakes his head. "The free market hard at work again."
- Rhode Island did not send delegates to the Constitutional Convention.
- Lee was in both Dark Futures, where he was just as irrelevant to everything as usual. In the first he was happier, though!
- Lee has relationships - check 'em out!
- Lee carries a Hipster PDA. Instructions for building your own: 1. Get a bunch of 3x5 index cards. 2. Fasten them together with a binder clip. 3. There is no step 3. Lee recently upgraded it to a hPDA Shuffle
- Lee has an objection. Lee has a new objection a year later.
- Everyone else has a meerkat so Lee does not have a meerkat. He has a Leemur.
Powers Magical Realism
Other than fourth wall-breaking, Lee actually does indeed have powers, based on the alteration of frames of reference, changing the direction of forces, and so on. He recently found out he has these powers, and of course he sardonically expected to have powers because, of course, their existence annoys the living hell out of him and whenever there's someone who hates the existence of superpowers, they always end up having them. Why couldn't life be like Dickens or Balzac instead of a comic book? He now insists that he doesn't have superpowers, he has magical realism.
BONUS REVOLUTIONS MATERIAL: THE BEST OPENING POSES FOR LEE!
Falling, falling. Gonna drop like a stone. I'm falling through the atmosphere on a warm afternoon. If lovers discover that everyone dies….So don't tell me. Please hold me. It's a dangerous life. Daddy dear, let's get out of here. I'm scared. Ten o'clock - night time in New York - it's weird. If you're looking for trouble, well, that's what you will find. Mom and pop. They will fuck you up. For sure. Love so deep. Kills you in your sleep. It's true. Love keeps us together. Love will keep us alive. We are criminals that never broke no laws. And all we needed was a net to break our fall. They're searching for diamonds. They're grabbing at straws. Sex and sin. Sax and violins. It's hell. Wooden heads. Furniture with legs. For sale. Love keeps us together. Love will drive us insane. And we are criminals that never broke no law. All we needed was a net to break our fall. Going home, back where I belong. To stay. Rays of light, they will turn the night to day. Birds travel together. Birds follow the sun. I am watching as the birds go flying home.