2010-04-27: Matt Jr., Wingman



Guest Starring:

Matt Parkman Junior

Date: April 27, 2010


Awkwardness Ensues. You were warned.

"Matt Jr., Wingman"

Central Park, NYC

A post-second-date walk through Central Park finds Janet virtually skipping at Jaden's side. She's licking a Superman-flavoured ice cream cone madly to prevent the melty-ness from dripping down her hand and onto her wrist. "You didn't answer the question!" she insists with a broad grin. "Who would win the fight?! The Avengers OR the Justice League?! Personally, I'd really put my money on The Avengers. But mostly because I think Black Widow is hot." Beat. "Not that I'm into girls! She's hot in a oh-man-I-wish-could-be-her-and-pull-off-that-tight-latex-suit kidn of way… you know?" Her cheeks flush yet again. "Sorry. I kind of talk without thinking. I guess you know that by now." Her nose wrinkles and she shrugs before buttoning up her green cardigan with a single hand — now that takes talent.

While Jaden might not be skipping, he's certainly got the happy as a lark feature on his face. Which is pretty much always the case, but for this particular one, well, let's just say he's chilling like a non-villain. Anyway, Janet is on one arm and Rufus is on his other shoulder, curled up and sleeping soundly. Well, as soundly as he can be sleeping while Jaden is traversing the evil Central Park landscape of doom. "I didn't answer the question because it's a no brainer! You see, while the Avengers as some amazing friends and some irredeemable insects…. there is one crucial factor that you are failing to interject into his question." Jaden raises his own Superman cone up for a moment, as if it is the key to everything. "… The Goddamn Batman." And with that, he takes a victory lick of his deliciousness. "And, for the record, you can totally pull of a latex suit. Well, actually, you can put it on and I'll handle the rest…." Oh dear

Ah, youth. Matt remembers when he was that young… parachute pants were still all the rage, and he and his new girl stayed up till four in the morning celebrating his new job. Ahem. "Can he actually see out of this thing?" he asks, glancing down at the wheeled contraption in front of him and then over toward Janice. "And are you sure it isn't gonna fold up while he's still in it? I swear it looks like one of those puzzle boxes from Phantasm after you open it up."

"Trust me, they test these things extensively. If they don't, they get nailed with a lawsuit… and lawsuits are always bad for business. Besides, this one's pretty highly rated anyways." Janice peers down at her son, grinning just a little bit. "Trust me, he can see just fine and he loves it."

"Latex suits? Really?" Janet's nose wrinkles at the notion. "I don't any awesome like karate moves though — I need to learn martial arts or something before I could play the part convincingly I think." Beat. "Not that I'm playing a part or putting on … uh…" her face flushes a deeper red. Quickly the topic is reverted back, "And Batman is pretty extraordinary. But what about Iron Man?! I mean he is awesome! I think you're kind of like Iron Man. I bet you could be Iron Man if you wanted… look at all of the gadgets you have in your house!" She hmms as she takes another lick of her ice cream, "But then… I guess Batman is kind of the same and far more intense, and for that very reason I think I'd like Tony Stark more than Bruce Wayne, y'know." And then Janet glances down at the sidewalk, "AH! Watch out! Don't step on the cracks!! You could fall in between them and DIE! I'm a doctor, I should know!"

"Funny you should say that. I /was/ gonna' be Tony Stark. But somebody else called dibs!" For some odd reason, Jaden looks off to the side, as if he's staring at his own personal audience. That SOMEBODY knows who they are. But in the next moment, he's focused on the conversation at hand, once again. "The trick is, while Tony may be cooler and less of a gloomy gus, the fact of the matter is that Batman cheats. So, everything that the Avengers even tries to throw at the Dark Knight is gettin' straight swatted son! Swatted!!" There's another licking of the ice cream, before his words just kind of fade away, in favor of him jumping up and spreading his legs, stopping the stepping of cracks! Rufus, of course, wakes up at this and scurries down his shirt and back into his pocket. Safer. "I could show you some moves, babe. You just be ready to learn." Oh dear again.

Heading the other way, Matt offers Janice a shrug - this is more her area of expertise - then squints, trying to get a better look at the antics up ahead. Are those two seriously freaking out about stepping on cracks? That's not twenty years ago, more like fifty. And if so, then is it just a running gag, or are they having a bad trip or what? Curious, he decides on an experimental little prod. "Yeah, but Batman has to deal with the Joker, too. Guy never dies 'cause the readers all love him. Iron Man doesn't have anybody like that, does he?" Well, maybe he does, for all the older guy knows; he's not a big ol' comic book fan like the others.

Janice will stick to the real world. It's what she knows. She knows who the Batman and Joker are, sure, but beyond a little nerd pop culture knowledge, she's completely out of her league. Glancing over at Matt, Janet, and Jaden, she proceeds to refocus her attention on her son, instead.

"You were? Who called dibs?!" Janet glances to the side as Jaden does, but not seeing anything, she just continues in the conversation, "Batman does cheat. Cheater Bat.. guy.. man. Batman." Hearing Matt she interjects, "Sometimes I root for the Joker just because Batman takes himself waaaaay too seriously. But then the Joker lodges pens in people's brains and that's never good. I mean it would even hurt!" Wince. Jaden's jump is met with a snicker, "I bet you have moves I've never seen. Honest, you're like an entity on to yourself. In a good way, I mean." She weaves her arm through his and sidles next to him again, "Woah! I just realized something… if our predate counted as a real date this would be our third date. Huh. I just never normally make it that far because I talk too much."

She finally turns and looks at Matt midsentence as he'd addressed them. Recognition crosses her face before she forces it off. "H-hey… stranger… that I don't know…" Smiiiiiiile.

"Talking leads to Kissing. Kissing leads to My Place. My Place leads to the Dark Side." Jaden shrugs this off with a smile and a nod. "I fail to see where any part of you talking too much leads to anything bad." But, by the time he finishes getting his mack on at this point, he finds that they have been approached and he must drop down his knowledge. It's what comic nerds do. "Mandarin. But the Joker's so much cooler than the Green Meanie… let's just all agree that Stark's villains suck." Blinking, though, Jaden looks from Matt to his Almost Woman and back to Matt. "Color me Columbo but I'm sensing this is about to get awkward." Blame Janet's space-filled-tone!

Oh, hey, yeah, Matt does know her after all— he could only sort of see her from the side, up until he got close enough to banter. Why's she getting all awkward? Oh, because she hasn't come up with a plausible cover story for her presumably-not-in-the-know date here. Well, that's okay, one thing twenty-odd years on the force teaches you is how to think on your feet.

"Hey, you broke it off with me, I didn't break it off with you."

The potential for this to count as a dig against Janice is entirely incidental. Sure. And if you believe that, then let's head down to Brooklyn for the real estate deal of a lifetime…

Oh. OH. Janice wasn't thinking too much of the encounter and probably would have just assumed Janet an awkward individual due to her reaction to Matt. However, Matt's following sentence sets the context of everything and the frame of reference is shifted. She winces, visibly, perhaps for the double meaning, or perhaps just because of the situation in general. Either way, now /Janice/ is awkward too. She proceeds to look away from the trio and instead bend down to check on Junior and proceed to make silly faces at him. When in doubt, baby talk.

All-in-all it's a good thing Janet didn't run into more people from the Alpha Protocol while they were still in operation, she really isn't a good liar although she'd done strangely well when they cornered her about Erin — but then she'd had time to prepare. She can't help but wonder if she needs to pretend not to know any of these people, she pushes the thought out of her mind. "No! No, awkwardness Hon — uh — Jaden." Yup, she's tensing and it's pretty obvious.

Her mouth gapes, "But you're so OLD! — " and then she manages a nod, fighting her gut reaction " — yes. I remember now…" her gaze shifts as she glances around the park. Why is there not something to distract her?! Like a thief or something?!

Jaden chuckles just a little bit, before sliding an arm up and around Janet, just to make sure the territory is marked. His other hand is extended in Matt's direction. "Jaden Cain, Billionaire Boyfriend." Figuring he might as well introduce himself to the old competition. "For the record, I don't think you're that old, dude. Maybe a little lacking in the Comic Fu, but nothin' a Yoda can't help you with." See? He's being polite and non-confrontational! Pause. Jaden looks back at Janet. "What were you about to call me?" He smiles.

Whoa, now there's a name that pretty much everyone knows about, certainly everyone here on his home turf. "Oh, hey, I didn't recognize you without the Chipmunk sweater. I'm Matt." Beat. Oh, Janet didn't mention him? Well, then. Awkwardness as a method of avoidance - he's been using it at work, too. "This is Janice, and this" - he points out the kiddo, because that's what you do at a time like this - "is Matt Junior." C'mon, everybody, make cutesy faces at the three-year-old!

That's right, focus on the kid! That's what Janice is doing. She does note the introduction but doesn't remark on it, instead offering a smile towards Janet and Jaden. "Nice to meet you." Well, introductions and formalities aside, Janice has never been happier to have Junior as a distraction. He's a very pleasant and adorable distraction. "He looks more and more like you the older he gets," she comments, glancing to Matt.

"'Honey'. I was going to call you, 'honey'," Janet winces a little but she easily settles into the arm around her. "Sorry… I… Is that okay?" She winces again. She extends a hand to Janice, "Hi I'm Janet McCarty. Nice to meet you!" And then her attention is diverted to the little guy. "Hiiiii Matt Junior…" she coos at the little guy. "Remember me~?" Yup, Janet looked after him at the warehouse. She forgets this detail, "Lookit you~ Such a little cutie pie~ and sooooo big~." She presses her lips together and makes motorboat noises. It's good fun!

"Okay? Is it okay?" Jaden reaches out and smacks at Matt's arm, just to get his attention back. "Dude. Major hottie on my arm is actually asking if its okay that she calls me Honey? Seriously?!" Yeah, Jaden is having too much fun playing this up for no apparent reason. "Um. I'll take It's About Time for 500, Alex." Jaden flashes a big ol' smile, before pulling Janet closer to him and then finally paying attention to the baby like everyone else. "Uh, Babe? You do know that the motorboat is reserved for Private Time, right? It's not exactly Kid Friendly…" WTF.

Matt leans down, sliding his arms around the boy and carefully lifting him out of the stroller. "He kind of does, huh? Except the cheeks, I— I don't know which of us he got those from." Well, those are likely to change some more, anyway, right? "Anyway, nice to meet you guys too, I guess we should let you get back to your date now…" And they can get back to their, uh, whatever they're doing besides taking the kid for a walk.

Janice seems more than content to leave Awkward Date to the young and nerdy and resume her not-really-sure-how-to-categorize-this outing with Matt and their son. She glances back to Jaden and Janet. "Either way, it was nice meeting you. I hope you two enjoy yourselves."

Quizzically, Janet's forehead wrinkles as he backs up from the baby. "Oh?" It takes a moment before it clicks, "Ooooooooh!" She has a Eureka moment while her face reddens again. "Yeah… you're right uh… sorry," she apologizes quickly to the parents before clinging onto Jaden, and wrapping an arm behind his back. "Yes, that would be great! It was nice running into you Matt! Bye Matty~!" the trio is given a three fingered wave with her free hand.

"So… talking leads to Kissing and Kissing leads to Your Place and then that leads to the Dark Side, right?" Janet quirks an eyebrow at Jaden. "Is the Dark Side a good place to be…?"

Jaden offers a bit of a finger wave to Matt and Company, mostly because he's managed to keep control of his Janet without having to actually fight for it. He's just that good, right? "The Dark Side is the best side. Especially back at My Place." Which, for the record, is what he's kind of asking Janet with his eyes at this moment. Is she really about to… Hm. "So. My Place? Horizontal Polka?" Wow. Just… Wow.

It could have just as easily ended there - the Parkmans continuing on their way, J and J going back to Stately Cain Manor for some Dark Side style hotness - or a quick slap to the face, if Janet decides she's not on the same page.

Except for the wild card that none of them knew to account for.

Still cradled in Matt's arms, Junior reaches up with tiny stubby fingers just as he's about to be set down again - and suddenly Matt's ability, which he'd been blocking out because there was no obvious need for it, gets not only unblocked but turned up to eleven. Suddenly, he's picking up every thought within ten feet, and broadcasting them back out again before he can stop himself. Just as suddenly, it stops again - but by that point he's already dumped the kid into the stroller and then doubled over, clutching at his temples. What the hell was that?

Janice is startled, not only by the display of power but the lack of control that Matt suddenly displayed. She checks to make sure Junior's okay in the stroller before she moves to put a hand on Matt's shoulder. "Matt?" She asks quickly before stealing a careful glance around. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Still in range, the telepathic broadcast does its magic. If Jaden was going to get a slap in the face, no one will ever know, because Janet indeed gets a broadcast prompting her to do reply one way, "Yes." Her eyebrows furrow just a little at her answer, but then she nods, affirming it with a broad grin, "Yes." If possible her grin broadens further, "But I demand a Rockband rematch while there. Demand. And more waffles tomorrow. Morning." She's still smiling.

Jaden Cain is not quite sure what else to worry about at this particular moment except for the fact that she just dropped the Y Bomb on him right now. The Y Bomb is definitely what he needed right about now, after what he thought just happened, really just happened. It was like a disturbance in the Force. A good one? He doesn't even dare try to look back toward the Parkmans, as of this moment, he's about to go get some. "Baby, I'm like Duke Nukem. I'm comin' to get some." And as if to illustrate his point, Jaden picks up the speed hurry and get them the heck out of the Park. And to KITT.

Largely oblivious to what just went down with the other couple - he just thought the words at them, he didn't really think about them too closely, what with the flash headache - Matt shakes his head, looking up at Janice. "I don't know," he replies, "but we better get back to the house soon. I gotta get off my feet for a while…"

Janice nods quickly at Matt as he remarks about going home, and she keeps a careful hand on him in case he needs support. "Alright. Lets get home, then. It's probably a good idea." She looks back to Junior, once again just checking to see if he was alright. After all, like father, like son…

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