"Ah, ah, ah! No backsies. Now sit down, it's going to take me a while to tear apart every stupid thing you just said."

Casting: Joel McHale
Date of Birth: ♈ April 2nd
Age: 29
Place of Birth: Salt Lake City, Utah
Occupation: Blogger/Reporter
Registration Status: ☒ UN ☐ REG
Theme Song: "I'm An Asshole" by Denis Leary
Inspiration: … Joel McHale, Community, Hollywood insider news reports
Fun Fact: Mickey has a twin sister, Julie, in Adoptables
Hooks: ✔ Entertainment ✔ News ✔ On The Street

Mickey "The Mouth" Calhoun is a fast-talking, quip-delivering, gossip-serving, Hollywood-insulting son of a bitch. He's so deliciously unlikable! If only they knew the truth…

Origin Story

Whenever Mr. Calhoun mentions his birthplace, it's with a note of derision. Since he refers to everything with a note of derision, this may not actually mean anything, but it's also likely not a very remarkable place. The occasional joke about cows is as false as his occasional attempt to claim he was born straight from the hell-hole of Hollywood itself— a construct of its own leering self-hatred only as strong as its massively back-patting ego. The point is being: he's never pinpointed his exact place of birth, and is unlikely to going forward.

What the world is more concerned with is not when he gave his first birth, but the first birth of gossip. Which, according to internet myth, may have been the exact same moment.


The Mouth Piece

The Mouth Piece… is Mickey's platform, a pseudo-news station that's made to appear mostly viral, in order to not appear overly commercial. Because that would be selling out. And everybody knows nobody worth anything sells out in Hollywood. Ever. That never happens. That is definitely not the theme of the place. Money does not dictate action here.

  • Gossip!

IC Logs

  • Nobody wants to hang out with Mickey!

Sound Bytes

  • There are sure to be some eventually!

Celebrity Trivia

  • Mickey's face isn't crazy recognizable, but it is fairly saturated on the internet, and it wouldn't be unreasonable for him to be noticed on the street.
  • Mickey is younger than his twin sister by minutes.
  • Having just missed April Fool's Day as a birthday, Mickey likes to say that, rather than the joke, he's the ultimate punchline.
  • Insult-O-Meter:
Target Zinger! Effect

Mickey, keeping to theme, in an alternate universe.

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