| Mieczyslawa "Mitch" Kaminski | |
 |
|
| Portrayed By | Leisha Hailey |
|---|---|
| Gender | Female |
| Date of Birth | December 9th, 1979 |
| Age | 28 |
| Zodiac Sign | Sagittarius |
| Aliases | Mitch, Undercover Tony |
| Place of Birth | Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
| Current Location | New York City, NY, USA |
| Occupation | Writer, Journalist, Stalkerazzi |
| Known Relatives | Mother, Father, Brother (older), Sister (younger) |
| Significant Other | None |
| Known Abilities | None |
| First Appearance | Jedi Master Hero of Kidney Punching |
A girl named Mitch. Journalist (read: stalkerazzi) and lazily aspiring musician. She's a fun little loudmouth of a woman, who is occasionally snarky, but she's usually well-meaning…
TMI: The Mitch Insider (IC, public blog)
History
Mieczyslawa Kaminski was born in Warsaw, Poland, and if she could have fathomed her own unfortunate name from an early age, she would have been quick to diss it. It was unfortunate only because her family moved to Canada when she was five, thus prompting a whole mess of confusion when she started elementary school. Furthermore, her brother and sister were given Polish names that were much more— well, "English," than Mieczyslawa. Somewhere along the line, people started calling her Mitch. She's not sure when it started, but it stuck when she was still a kid, and to this day, she's a girl named Mitch. Hey, is it any weirder than Mieczyslawa? Didn't think so.
The Kaminskis were not exactly a well-adjusted family, but they weren't particularly unusual in that respect — except that her mother was a phony psychic, scamming people out of their good money and tricking them into thinking they were talking to their dead relatives. Mitch's dad was a hard-working cinematographer, mostly as the DP for some vaguely popular indie films. The kids grew up in a suburb of Toronto, Ontario, comfortably middle class, sometimes above or below, depending on how well Kaminski Senior did that year. Mitch was the competitive one of her siblings, always wanting to best them (or anyone, really, blood relations weren't the clincher), but it was her brother and sister who liked to pick on her. Perhaps as a defense mechanism while she learned to stand up for herself, she became something of a jokester.
Mitch was quite involved in activist groups althrough university, adamant about fighting for the underlooked in various forms. Although Mitch is difficult to shut up to this day when it comes to things she believes strongly in, she simmered down on that scene after a few years, deciding to just go through the medium of writing to change the world. …Or something slightly less dramatic, but then, Mitch always did have a way of exaggerating things.
She eventually landed a job in an unpopular little magazine, writing sleazy advice columns, and worked her way up the ladder rung by rung until she had a whole resume of writing jobs under her belt, each ever-so-slightly less sleazy than the next. While it occurred to her on numerous occasions that she was writing beneath herself, it's possible that Mitch's big picture became narrowed without her realizing it when she got caught up in the world of… celebrity gossip. It happens to the best of us, right? And by George, the girl had a knack for it. Maybe she wasn't changing the world, but she was informing it — dishing on the dirty little secrets about strangers that the public likes to indulge in. She landed a job in NYC eventually, where her main career goal, as far as her employers were concerned, was to collect information and write about it: trashy rumour talk, with the occasional bit of breaking celebrity news, if she could find it.
With her competitive nature spurning her forward, she was determined to stay on top of the game. Although that's… still a work in progress, to say the least, she picked up a few tricks along the way. Namely photography: with the help of her brother, who moved to New York as well a couple of years back to further his career in - you guessed it - photography, she's all the more prepared. Even if her brother doesn't approve of how she's putting her learned skills (and borrowed equipment, more often than not) to use for. If she could get a good story from taking pictures, she'd do it. If that meant being a nosy little sneak who invades the privacy of others, so be it. And so the girl named Mitch became stalkerazzi.
With an affection for the quirky, controversial, or interesting-but-underlooked or less mainstream celebrities (or pseudo-celebs) and public figures (the more potentially off their rocker the better), Mitch started up her own weblog, where she'd post interview transcripts, the occasional video, and her own opinionated and often colourful commentary. The subjects: the people, and things, she'd investigate on her very own.
While she's gotten some flak for what she does, she's still pretty unknown - but her blog is starting to become popular. In the past couple of months, she's really started to come into her own and gain a specific audience and fanbase, and gets a whole lot of replies. Even if some of it is hatemail.
Timeline
March, 2007
- Jedi Master Hero of Kidney Punching: while at a gym in Midtown where she likes to take advantage of the sauna, Mitch meets a former military guy, Luke, she randomly gets a lesson in beating people up. Score.
- You Have the Legs: tries to multi-task. Fails. Crashes her bike, meets Benjamin, gives him drag advice and talks about her mom. Yells a lot.
- Pancakes and Pie: Mitch unknowingly insults a crimeboss while enjoying pancakes. Whatev.
- Opening Night: in an attempt to sneak into Club 14G, owned by Tabitha Tempest (a celebrity who Mitch said some not-so-flattering things about in the past, possibly involving the phrase "bimbo munchkin"), Mitch dresses like a dude. She is dubbed Undercover Tony by Leroy who helps her avoid being dragged out by a bouncer in the men's washroom. Hilarity ensues. In drag.
- Fashion 911: calls Leroy for random fashion advice, though it's really just an excuse to call him because he's A) entertaining, and B) knows people. Not only does she get fashion policed, however, she gets phone-dragged into a blind date with Leroy's friend with no time to protest. What?! Totally unfair. And so not happening, as far as she's concerned.
April, 2007
- Tragically Misguided: When she needs a dress mended, she goes to Bitchin' Stitchin' and winds up knocking heads (figuratively) with Jeremy. Weirdo.
- Dancing in Blood: WHAT THE HELL, MAN. Mitch, along with strangers Gwen, Stefanie and Gene, witnesses a gruesome crime in an alley beside a club, throws up on Gene and promptly tries to forget the whole night, because WHAT THE HELL, MAN.
Quotes
- "Next time someone sends me hatemail, I'm so going to punch them in the KIDNEY!" - Jedi Master Hero of Kidney Punching
- "EFF MY MOTHER!" - You Have the Legs
- "Hey, hey. I've seen men with meatier ankles than you pull off heels. I mean, you wouldn't be a stiletto queen, but with the right platforms, you could rock it. You have the legs." - You Have the Legs
- Ling: "Nothing..you were just well..loud.." Mitch: "So I've been told. It's a disease, I can't help it. I'm undergoing extreme rehabilitation for it, but by golly, it just doesn't seem to stick." — Pancakes and Pie
- "Uh, sorry, miss! I'm totally not perving, hi, I like your shoes." - Opening Night
- "SCREW YOU, LADY! You can take your fricking ideals and shove them up your a— …oh, hi." - Tragically Misguided
Tunes
Coming soon?!?
Trivia
- Mitch's dad is a cinematographer who has been the DP for several borderline popular indie flicks.
- Her mom is a phony psychic.
- Mitch can speak broken Polish and French.