2007-05-11: No Promises, And No Sugary Sweet Platitudes


Elle_icon.gif Jane_icon.gif

Summary: The roommates talk over what happened between Elle and Elena.

Date It Happened: May 11, 2007

No Promises, And No Sugary Sweet Platitudes

Elle and Jane's Apartment, Greenwich Village, NYC

It's still the 11th of May, just later, several hours after the ordeal with seeing a close friend cuffed to her roommate's bed and in all that pain over something she didn't do. Jane spent hours playing to get a handle on her composure. It'd been so close… She could've lost a cherished friend forever, and for the second time could only watch helplessly and wait for an opportunity to get the upper hand.

Whenever Pete leaves, the brunette is still awake and seated at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine, slowly drinking a glass and transcribing music she made from the top of her head onto paper as best she can remember it.

Elle comes out from her room, finally, dressed in a bathrobe. She walks over towards the kitchen. "Hey there."

"Elle," Jane replies quietly, only briefly looking up at the robed blonde. She looks tired, drained. Her fingers keep making musical notations on the staffs she drew across the top sheet, the eyes focus on placement and the brain on pulling things from memory with some degree of accuracy, able to almost hear how the tune would sound by how they're placed and sequenced.

Elle sounds very subdued. "I'm sorry." she says, standing about five feet back from Jane. "I know that sounds kind of weak."

"I get it, Elle," Jane replies in a subdued voice. "Sometimes I get close to losing it myself. And it could be so easy to just let loose. But I don't. Somehow I still manage to think practically and consider things a bit before acting. Elena's my friend too, a close one. You probably figured that out already. I almost watched her die, and couldn't do a thing about it." She pauses, drawing in a long breath and releasing it. "I'm not happy with you, and can't say when I will be. But I also gave my word I'd not abandon you, and I won't. There has to be some way we can find where you can hold back when you're upset, get the rage out before acting against people, and then make decisions or take actions. Because the way you do it now… it keeps getting you into trouble. I gave my word to help you get there, and I'll keep it."

Elle looks upset. "I know. I just…I don't know. It's how I was taught."

"I understand that, Elle," Jane replies quietly, standing to slide a chair out for Elle to sit in. "No one says it will be easy, at all. Want some wine, while we talk?" She goes for a glass. Her voice is softened, given a hopefully soothing, encouraging tone. "The worthwhile things, they're rarely easy. Having friends, people to talk to, who'll listen to your fears and stick by you, count among those things. You are who you are. Your behavior, though, can be controlled."

The blonde moves over to the seat, and sits down. "Thank you." she says. She waits there for the glass. She hasn't made eye contact yet. "I hope it can." A quiet voice. "I read my file at the Company a couple months back. Apparently there are some…neural issues."

Her fingers pour wine into the glass and slide it over to the now seated blonde, and Jane retakes her own seat. "Neural issues," she repeats softly, as confirmation she's listening and heard that said. Her eyes rest calmly and quietly on the woman. No judgment, just attention.

Elle takes the glass. A long silence follows, and she sips at it once. "Brain damage caused from electrical trauma as a result of output testing." She says it very much like she's quoting. She probably is.

"As in they pushed you so hard it broke part of your brain," Jane observes quietly before taking a slow drink of her glass. One hand reaches out to clasp one of the blonde's and squeeze gently, to give comfort, if she'll allow it. Silence returns, leaving Elle the floor for whatever she wants to say.

Elle blinks once. It's that kind of blink you do when you're trying not to cry. "It's all right. I just have to be strong." That's a quote too. That's Bob talking. "I'll be fine."

"Let it out, Elle," Jane invites quietly. "No one but you and I will know it came out. It doesn't make you any less strong, at all. If anything, it strengthens you. Lets out things that cloud the mind."

Elle shakes her head once. She's used to keeping things bottled up. "No, it's all right. It's who I am. It's what I do."

There's no pressure applied, no urging her to let loose. She herself understands this. Her screams, even though no one can really hear them, are still kept from the public eye. She goes out to some remote place and lets loose when it's really needed, or plays loud metal music until the storm settles. "If that's what works for you, that's what works." Jane lifts the glass and sips again.

She looks back up. "Anyway…I just…I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." Fidgets just a little. Jane is her friend, but in some ways, also the maternal figure she's never had.

"I get that," Jane replies quietly. "Thank you for saying so, Elle. I won't claim it makes everything better, or okay, that takes time. But it's a start, and it takes guts to make that start." The hand she has resting atop Elle's squeezes again gently, offering comfort.

Elle smiles a bit at the squeeze. "I…do you think…if you know her, could you tell her I'm sorry?" she asks, with a hopeful look.

"I will," Jane replies. "I don't know what her response will be, but I'll tell her." She takes a long pause before speaking again. "Maybe you'll want to do it, maybe you won't, but you know I'll listen to whatever's on your mind and give solid honest opinion. It helps you, and everybody else, to do that. To go over what you're thinking, what you're feeling, to hear yourself and be heard."

Elle nods. "I know…I'm sorry I did that with her. But I think she wouldn't listen to me if I tried to talk to her. Right now…I just want to make things easier."

"I'll ask her if she wants to meet with you, and talk about how you might start to make amends, Elle," Jane offers solemnly. "But you're right, at least at present she may not be willing to even consider hearing you out. Will she ever? I really don't know. No promises, and no sugary sweet platitudes. It just is whatever it will be."

Elle nods. "I just…I don't know how to make it right." She shakes her head. "Just tell her, please. I'm sorry."

Her reply is simple, just two words spoken. "I will." Jane sips again from her glass.

The blonde stands, still subdued. "Thanks. I'll…be in my room if you need me." And she heads towards it.

"Good night, Elle," Jane quietly offers, watching her go.

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