Starring:
Summary: Together, people struggling with addiction try to find their inner strength. And non-present drug dealers who would threaten their recovery? They get some threats for themselves.
Future Date: February 2012
Of Strength
A shelter somewhere in the Bronx
Even before it was fixed up, this wasn't a nice place.
The walls are dark, dirty. The wood panelling has been scorched, a testament to the fact that the building is pretty damn close to one of the city's hot zones. They move, those areas of chaos and iniquity, and once upon a time, this used to be right in the middle of such an area. Now, a phoenix has been graffitied over the damage.
"We all know that it's not easy," says a woman's voice. Chairs — some plastic, some wood, all mismatched — are set up in a circle in the center of the room, all filled but a few. The leader of the group leans over her knees, gesturing now and again with her hands. Blonde hair coloured with streaks of black, twisted and weaved into a fishtail braid, hangs down the woman's back, following long down her spine. Her white sleeveless shirt bears enough skin for black ink to show on her right shoulder blade… a phoenix twisting out of the ashes, like the graffiti. Niki sweeps a kohl-lined gaze around the circle, not skipping a single face. She meets all of their eyes, her own intense.
"Even with therapy that takes away the pain, you still think about what it was like— to have that feeling even for a second that you're powerful. That— you're better. It's really freaking easy to say to hell with it and hit someone up for another dose, 'cause God knows we used to do whatever it took to find the cash," Niki says. "But what we gotta realize is that we don't need a drug to make us strong 'cause we already are. Or— we can be, if we just tap into that strength. And, if you're havin' trouble finding it, there's someone there to help you look. We don't need some stupid formula. Screw it."
Sophie is in a weird position. She never used, never was even tempted, but that's for the same reason that not one person who ever stayed at the shelter never could accuse her of not knowing what it was like. She /has/ felt it again, and again, just about for every person who stayed there. Her eyes still have that pained look, face a little drawn. She sits to the side, though, quiet support.
A woman wearing a tight dark grey tank top and black jeans sits a few seats away from Niki. Her now much longer blonde hair is pulled into a ponytail and she tilts her head and looks at Niki with her blue eyes. "The drug.. it makes you powerful for a little while.. but it takes /everything/ else away from you once it leaves."
Meredith smiles softly at Niki, someone she has been able to call a friend recently. The woman had lost it all to the drug.. her daughter.. everything. She bites her lower lip as she looks around the group.
When Meredith speaks up, Niki looks at her especially, her eyes hard and deeply understanding. Most people's are, here. They've all been there. They all know what it's like, what the price is. It's not hard to tell that Niki's lived it. Her face is rigidly etched, tough. But the softness that makes up her self isn't all gone, else she wouldn't be here leading an addiction group. It's just camouflaged under the build-up of years. "But some people think, if they've got nothing left anyway, what's it matter, right?" She plays the devil's advocate for a second, looking around with a contrary expression to watch for who might challenge it with something they've learned.
Most of them just look tired.
Sophie's eyes lower. She can't contribute much, not wanting to interrupt what is happening here. But she needs to hear, to know, to help her in all the things she has to do.
"You always have something.. you just can't see it. The drug doesn't help your perception either." Meredith says softly and looks down to the floor. Her face is aged, and it's not just because she has gotten older. Her hands shakes for a moment but she makes a tight fist to stop it from that motion.
"You have yourself," Niki pipes up again with conviction, looking around the circle again. She has to show that conviction. If she falters… Well, she's not a very good role model. "I don't think any of us are optimists," she says with a little laugh, glancing over at Sophie for an instant, acknowledging. "But sometimes, even if everything else is burned away — you have yourself. And you have… people who remember. I don't mean to get all crappy New Age special on you guys, but it's about the power that's already in you. I'm not talking about those of you that already have abilities, I mean… the power to do something good for yourself, for everyone around you— for the world, at this point, 'cause this addiction business is sure ruining it. So hold on to that perspective."
That was a lot of talking. Niki sits back and sighs, though it does nothing to melt the tension in her shoulders. "Does anyone wanna talk about how their week's been? Any trouble?"
Sophie glances to Niki, smiling with some gratitude. She says, softly, "I've run into a little trouble this week. In a weird way, I think it demonstrates how far we've come. And the kind of people who peddle that poison." with a sigh, "I have no illusions about our work. For everyone in this circle, there's dozens who haven't.. and possibly won't walk in that door, and still.. they try to come back for the few dollars, and that's all we are to them, that we take out of their pockets. Come into OUR place, trying to claim to give a crap about us, and using that to try to get you back."
Meredith merely listen to what Sophie has to say, she nods her head at the woman. "It's true." She barely whispers and puts her hands on her knees. Her gaze goes again to Niki and then back to Sophie. She thinks back to when she was using, it makes her shudder at the thought of it.
The tense calm that had descended over the stripper-turned-addiction-group-leader while she settled in to listen to peoples' struggles is destroyed in no time flat. Niki twists to face Sophie, shooting her a hotly angry look. It's not meant for the woman at all, of course, but it's definitely meant for the people she's talking about. "There've been more of them lurking around? Goddamn vultures. I'll talk to you after the meeting," she tells Sophie. As she turns back around, arms settling in to fold across her body, she says, rage still brewing, "If they come around here again, I'm going to put freaking hole through their good-for-nothing skulls."
… But back to the meeting.
A few mumbles and grunts emerge from the other people in the meeting, agreeing, before one of the group, a hawk-faced Hispanic man with a bad case of the jitters, tentatively decides to share. "I messed up…last week. My roommate, you know… She uses. It's always there… I couldn't… find my strength, you know." A shiver runs through him — and so does a jolt of electricity. Thankfully, it doesn't touch anyone else. "Been payin' for it ever since."
Sophie nods to that, sighing, "It feels like back to square one, but you know you can go through it this time, something you didn't know when you started."
The other woman's eyes narrow and she looks from Sophie and Niki, "An order of crispy bastards coming up?" she says with a raised eyebrow and then back to the meeting, the electric guy is given a sad look. "We all mess up, you just have to find the strength inside of you. Pull from it, find something else that can help you.. meditate, move out with the person. They obviously aren't a good person to live with if they expose you to that." Meredith says to the man.
Niki gives the man who spoke a firm look. "Mer's right. You can stay here, Carlos. At the shelter." Where everyone supports him — except for the intruders trying to prey on the weaknesses of addicts, the people Sophie mentioned. The recent news grinds in Niki's memory, even more of a hard-set edge to her features. "It's… been a long meeting. Let's call it a day. I'll see you Thursday, okay?" She pushes herself out of the chair to stand along with the others. As people start to dissippate — this not being a group quite so enlightened yet to end on a mantra holding hands or anything of that nature, apparently — Niki calls out, "Remember, we all have a choice. Door's open twenty-four hours."
Sophie nods to that, adding, "And it opens both ways." with a smile, "You're here because you're ready to be here." she looks to Niki, knowing there will be questions.
Niki's fellow recovering addict stands and comes towards Niki. "What are we going to do about them? It's bad enough that they have to deal with withdrawal and the like." Meredith's expression is not one of happiness.
Some of the recovering addicts linger in the room, some in the hall — but in there's a space cleared around Niki, Sophie, and Meredith, all the chairs now empty and forlorn, their mismatched designs rather pathetically obvious. The blonde-and-black-haired of the three women shakes her head, tense brows raised. "I meant what I said. Tell me who's responsible and I'll ruin them. These people are working really hard to get better," she says, no less incensed. This is personal. It hits nerve or three. "That someone would come around here and shove that stuff in their face— "
Sophie pauses, nodding, "I don't know if you know her, but our mutual friend, our dreamer, she knows her." she thinks a moment. "I don't recall if you met her, but her name is KeLyssa, she used to work at that comic store."
"She's ash." Meredith says without hesitation. "Let me know when she comes back, better yet. Where does she live?" The pyro is not happy. "I'll just fuck up her whole supply."
That's a pretty standout name. Should be memorable, right? Thankfully, Niki happens to be close to someone who tends to have his finger on the pulse of everything. "I'll ask Peter." A beat. Blue eyes skim back and forth between the two ladies. "Dealers've been coming around here since we opened up." And it pisses Niki off just as much every time. She shifts from foot to foot, hands going to her hips. "You'd think they'd take a hint. Whatever, one girl? No problem. I'll help you sweep her off the frigging doorstep."
Sophie shakes her head, "I wish it wouldn't have to come to this. But.." her eyes narrow, "She threatened this place. Said that there would be others, that they wouldn't just bring their poison, but violence here. For money, to go to college." obviously not much in the way of an excuse for her. "So we do what we have to. K.. Muse said she would see about getting KeLyssa some money, we'll see if that's why she really is doing it. If she still comes back.. then I guess we have to handle that problem."
"You won't need to help." Meredith says with a grin towards Niki. "You can just watch me work my magic girl." Her southern accent beginning to stand out because she is so angry.
"We'll find out who she works for," Niki says, her voice low, strained. In most other situations she might be more lenient, but this damn drug — it turns her good heart cold. "You know fire freaks me out," she says to Meredith, but a hint of more playful smile twists red-glossed lips upward. "…I'm gonna go see if Peter's around somewhere," she says in a tone that suggests she assumes he probably isn't. Niki turns away, stalking toward the open door into the rest of the shelter. "If you see that KeLyssa chick, call me."
Just another day.