2009-12-02: Pimp Cat



Date: December 2nd, 2009


The Terrible Twosome become parents, of a sort.

"Pimp Cat"

Sydney's Apartment

It's getting dark outside; the sun has set and the city light is gradually growing brighter than that which still stains the sky. It's also a good half an hour past Lena's unofficial curfew. It's possible that she was delayed on the way back from the "library". Public transportation is so unreliable.

But she could at least call!

A key finally rattles in the lock and the front door to Sydney's apartment is eased open. It would be easy to think that Lena is trying for stealth, on the off chance that there is a very large, very disapproving Brazilian sitting RIGHT THERE awaiting her arrival. She pushes the door open with a shoulder, hunched a little oddly over her stomach. Her arms are wrapped over her belly, as if the girl were in some pain.

"Chi? Chi, you here?" The door's kicked shut with one foot while she's inside. And it's funny, but she doesn't sound guilty. There's a thread of excitement running through the teenager's voice.

Tiago is there, in fact. Is, but at the same time, he's not quite, for the distinctive run off the shower head indicates his presence in the bathroom. You can tell because he forgot to close the door completely, prompting a thin film of steam to pour out the cracks. He was much too busy freaking about his half-singed hair and getting the soot off of his skin to bother with silly things like locking the door!

Another definitive Chi marker is the faint baritone being belted out while in the shower. He's carrying a tune with his voice, and though the lad is far from a singer, it's quite obvious that he can at least hold a harmony. The words are impossible to make out exactly, but it definitely sounds of the 80's arena rock variety. "…I wanna know what love is!"

The door to the bathroom creaks open, pushed with one hand while Lena keeps the other clutched protectively over her stomach. Her…squirming stomach. There's a grin on her face, the events of the last half an hour having successfully pushed away any lingering guilt or unease. Tiago's singing of Foreigner classics just caps the moment. "I want you to shoooow me!"

The acoustics in Sydney's little bathroom are great. Her voice is amplified, bouncing around the steamy interior with gusto. And beneath that loud interruption is a quieter harmony.


Needless to say Tiago just about jumps beneath the jet of burning water at the familiar voice, glancing beyond the curtains despite being unable to see through them. Slowly, slyly, the mans lips split into a bright grin. "You're late," he points out, but he doesn't sound all that irritated. In fact, he sounds kind of amused. "C'mon in. /I/ can show you what love is, and… we'll sing a sexy duet, it'll be aw-…"

Mew. As in…

"…Uh. Lena? Was…that you?" Stricken with equal parts curiosity and confusion, the man's foamy head pops out from behind the shower curtain, eyes narrowed speculatively as he looks around the bathroom before setting his pale green eyes on Lena.

"Was what me?" By the time Chi's got the curtain tugged back, Lena has both arms over her stomach again. The charade will only last so long, however. Whatever's hidden beneath her hoodie is becoming more energetic. But for now, she will pretend that there isn't a kitten squirming beneath her outer later of cold weather gear. Only the grin gives her away. "Cmon, my singing wasn't that bad. I mean, I'm no Christina but…"

Right around then, the future Mister Fluffykins decides to show his or her displeasure by sinking needle-sharp kitten claws through Lena's shirt.

The teen suddenly yelps and begins to dance around, trying to simultaneously pluck the hoodie away from her vulnerable belly and reach inside to extricate the clinging feline. "Ow, fuck! Ow ow ow, stop it you little shit, I rescued you!"

It's like that movie, Alien. Except, she's grinning maniacally as the creature within her wiggles and threatens to break loose. It's a surreal sight, one that is, frankly, just a little disturbing, and so Tiago's brows arch considerably as he stares at his girlfriend, no humor in his expression.

And then it happens! She cries out, and Tiago expects the monstrosity to jump out and attack him as well, so he can't quite hide the "Ah!" that comes out in time with her shriek, hopefully missed by the Riverdancing teen. His fears are put to rest when it isn't an extraterrestrial being that comes out, but rather, a fluffball. Cue deliberate delays of his reaction.

"L-Lena…why is there a furry thing attached to your hand?"

"Because I found it outside in the cold and…ow!" The creature puts up a mighty fight but Lena's superior strength and opposable thumbs finally win the day. Fuzzball is extricated from hoodie and held up cupped in both hands, revealing it to be a grey and white kitten with bright blue eyes. It looks right at Tiago, startled, then opens a wee pink mouth and protests both the noise of the shower and the scenery before it with a loud, "Mew!"

Now that nothing's trying to eviscerate her, Lena's able to grin again. "It followed me home. Think Syd will let us keep it?"

"A cat! Can we even bring cats inta the buildin', Lena?" Tiago inquires sensibly, staring back at the small kitten, matching it stare for stare. Ironically, they both seem to hold the same expression - fascination, with just a tad bit of wariness. "Ugh… gimme a moment, baby," the man decides, before ducking back into the shower and quickly rinsing out his hair. With this done, he can turn off the warmth of the water head and groan softly, before sneaking outside of the shower in his naked glory and grabbing a towel to rinse himself off. After the initial drying has been done, he proceeds to hang the white fabric around his waist, taking the opportunity to frown at the little critter.

"…Huh. I dunno. I mean, I…well, we're movin' to someplace bigger, yeah? So…maybe. But /damn/ Lena, y'wanna keep a cat? You can barely take care of yourself!"

While Tiago completes his ablutions, Lena parks her rear end against the edge of the counter and cuddles the little critter to her chest. It calms when she tickles a fingertip underneat its fuzzy white chin, its blue eyes lidding and a purr bigger than itself booming in its chest. But the smile she's wearing when she looks up at her boyfriend dies upon being greeted with that last remark. She stares, forehead rumpling.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Frown quickly becomes a glare and only a second later, she straightens up to march right out of the bathroom. Another sweet meow drifts over her retreating shoulder. "Ignore him, sweetheart, he's just a big jerk…"

Tiago, for once, does not immediately regret his careless comment. Even after being faced with Lena's displeasure. In fact, in light of the glare, the man merely quirks a brow and offers her a wry smile. "What d'you /think/ it means? Relax, baby, it aint no jab at ya. But y'gotta admit. Trouble follows you aroun' like somethin' fierce." Whens he removes herself from the room, Tiago sighs audibly, tossing his reflection in the foggy mirror a look. His hair is ruffled in an attempt to remove most of the moisture - then precariously styled in that 'I just woke up, but I look awesome' kind of way by running his hand through it. It's only after this thirty second process is done that he even hazards walking out after Lena.

"Big jerk! Not even! I'm a fuckin' hero - don't you even listen ta her, kidlet. Ima good guy." And with this called over Lena's shoulder to the kitty, the mostly naked man closes in on his girlfriend, creeping up behind her and lifting a hand to place on her hip. "You wanna keep it? For reals? Even if it ruins your most emo shirt?"

Lena's point is proven: Tiago stopped to DO HIS HAIR rather than chase after her to offer reassurances. If she had any idea of what was happening in that mirror, she might even stop feeling guilty for lying to him about just about everything. As it is, the teenager is neck-deep in a soul-satisfying sulk by the time those dark, damp arms creep around her. "He's a jerk," she argues, addressing the counterpoint in a grumble to the kitten. Tickling it with one gloved finger earns another purr. Obviously the cat agrees with her!

"It isn't my fault." Even though it kind of is. But that's beside the point. Lena frowns over her shoulder at the man. "Fuck the shirt. It was out in the cold, Chi. And Syd said we're going somewhere with more room, right? What do you have against kittens?"

"I never said it was your fault," Tiago points out kindly, patiently, not taking Lena's sullen accusations personally. "I never said it was a bad thing. I jus'…pointed it out, is all. And I don't got /nothin'/ against kittens, baby." He breaths out with a sigh, looking down at the blue-eyed beast thoughtfully. "I'm jus' makin' sure you really want it, and we can take care of it and shit."

"Because…kittens! You can't be reasonable about kittens. They're babies." Lena refuses to be swayed by logic; kittens trump all. Her hands, safely gloved, cup protectively around the little ball of grey and white fluff being held to her chest.

Again, Mister Fluffykins agrees. "Mew!"

"See?" The human part of the girl/cat pair is not above using the arguments of an infant feline to bolster her side. She lifts the critter and allows its bright blue eyes to focus on Tiago's face. Awwwww. "We can totally take care of it. Cats are really tidy. And it won't eat much, look at how little it is."

"Yeah…I don't think we're ready for a baby either, princessa," Tiago drawls, somewhat wryly bemused as his hold on her tightens and he pulls her back into his body. However, even he isn't immune to the cuteness of the kitten. He tries to remain strong and resilient, eyeing the kitten in a highly critical fashion. But then…

Damn you, Mr. Fluffykins. Damn you!

Tiago tenses behind the woman, and it is easy to tell. He purses his lips, furrowing his brows uncomfortably, before looking up to the ceiling and mentally questioning God. What follows then is a very long, labored, and deliberate sigh. "Well…what're we goin' ta call it? S'it a boy or a girl? An'…you're cleanin' its poo."

Lena knows that she's won. Sure, he hasn't apologized yet for breaking her heart with completely unfounded accusations of how much trouble she gets into. But it looks like they are indeed having a baby. Of the fuzzy variety. A fresh smile blossoms as she allows herself to lean back against the man's chest. The kitten just looks puzzled.

"I dunno, I didn't look for boy bits. It was freezing out there, Chi, the poor little thing was in an alley under a newspaper. I think cats kinda name themselves though, right?"

The matter of poo disposal will be discussed at a later date. For now it is enough to have won this battle.

Yes. Tiago is a bastard like that, a heartless dream crusher. And it's becoming clear that the horrible person doesn't intend on apologizing at all, as he relaxes his hold on her. He is much too busy elsewhere, lifting a hand to, gingerly, brushing his large index finger beneath the tiny kittens chin in a show of almost affection. But that's all you'll get from him. He is all man - as hard and stoic as a rock.

"Huh…Well then, Gidget, what's your name, yeah?" He inquires of the kitten, breaking into a faint smile as he observes the grey fuzzball. "Heh…it's freakin' tiny. I could like, squish it in my hand if I wanted ta…" Despite the gruesome imagery, his tone is awed, and fairly reverential. And then, he gives her hip a gently tug, motioning for her to enter their room. "C'mon. We should check the equipment, so we know what we're dealin' with. Its not still freezin', is it?"

The kitten's ecstatic purring is interrupted when Lena very carefully lifts it to better see what sort of equipment their new friend boasts. It's a little difficult to tell, with all of the fluff, but after some feline squirming, squeaked protests and a bit of squinting on the part of the girl, she announces, "It's a boy! Here…"

Showing absolutely no mercy for Tiago's masculinity, Lena twists to deposit the kitten in his hands. It's small enough to fit in one, poor little dear.

"Syd had some tuna in the cupboard, I think. Maybe some milk…we can get some real cat food tomorrow," she decides before leaving her boyfriend to bond with his new furry companion. Into the kitchen she goes, a lady with a mission!

"'Kay," Tiago gruffs over to Lena, eyeing the kitten in his palm. Silence. Silence, and then, a hushed little whisper. "…Heh. A guy, huh? I could use 'nother guy over here, I guess… Damn estrogen is too much, and all them girls are crazy." Beat. "I betchya you're a pimp cat, huh? You got girlfriends and shit out there? Yeah, yeah you do, you know how it is!" And with this, the lad proceeds to tickle the kittens stomach and walk it into its temporary home - ie, the guest bedroom.

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