2008-01-16: Point Of Separation


Heidi_icon.gif Logan_icon.gif

Summary: Heidi tries to find it.

Date It Happened: January 16th, 2008

Point Of Separation

The Petrelli Estate

Some time during the day, Heidi had to leave. She promised Logan (threatened, really) that she wouldn't be gone long, and that he'd better stay put. It's not that she could really enforce this, though she's hoping he'll at least attempt to listen.

When she returned, Logan was, of course, gone. She wasn't really surprised. Calmly unpacking the groceries she picked up, she then heads to the front room to wait. Heidi's pretty sure he'll be back, given the fact that she knows about him, and she could easily tell anyone what's going on. She can't get ahold of Peter, but there are others she could tell. And, given that Nathan isn't stupid, she already knows Logan would have figured that out - she hopes.

If not, how long can a Senator hide, really?

There are a couple sandwiches on an end table next to the couch. One's for her and half-finished. The other is being eyed by a very hungry pair of rottweilers. If she's not eating it, why can't they have it!?

You can run, but you can't hide. And Logan doesn't try. It doesn't take long for him to return, the sounds of the front door closing and then casual footsteps approaching. He appears in the doorway, dressed smartly in a blue button down tucked neatly into slacks, shoes polished. A looking of resignation when he sees that yes, he didn't get back into time for her to not notice his absence - not that it would have stopped him, really, but it would have been handy.

Now he supposes talking must commence.

"I didn't think you'd be back so soon. I had to visit a friend," he says, tone without defense. A simple explanation, as if everything were normal between husband and wife.

Heidi doesn't turn to look at him, but pale eyes do glance. They're angry, which so rarely occurs, and she doesn't even try to hide the disgust on her face. "Leave a note next time," is her reply, "Or I'll call your brother." Not… that she can reach him anyway. But the threat should be enough for now. Never mind that he was supposed to stay here; it's clear that she can't control him, and if she's going to have any hope of reaching Nathan, she's going to have to at least give him a little freedom. Give him a little kindness.

Eventually, she does look up at him. "If you're hungry," she says, with a side-nod to the sandwich. Caesar licks his chops, and Julius takes a half-step closer. AAH YES THEY ARE SO HUNGRY even though they've just eaten. Surely there's room for another sandwich, since they are, after all, growing boys.

"I need to know what happened to cause this," she goes on. She's not so much disgusted now as she is hopeful. If she can get him talking, get through to Nathan and tell him it's all okay, then she can help. He's there, buried, and for that reason, Heidi is very careful to watch his eyes. The slightest spark - even if it's just a moment - will be incredibly encouraging.

Logan doesn't move from the doorway just yet. He doesn't seem ready to join her, just leans against the frame with a glance to the sandwich, then back to her, arms coming to fold. The look he gives her is quizzical, as if trying to figure something out. "You need to know," he repeats. "I don't think it's necessary information, no. Now if you want to know then maybe I can elaborate, but only if you ask nicely. What kinda sandwich did you make me?"

Heidi stands up, coming to stand in front of Logan, crossing her arms in front of her and standing as pretty much a mirror image of him. Only… female. And not evil. Not that she's really thinking of this as evil yet, because it's still kind of far away in her own mind.

She stands there staring at him for quite a while, actually, hoping he'll just break and tell her, her frustration growing with each passing second. Why did this have to happen now? How is this fair? The worst part is that Nathan's in there somewhere, and maybe he's trying to get out from the other side. They could reach each other.

Except Logan is in the way.

Emitting a shout of pure irritation, she aims a kick for Logan's shin, before turning and walking away, hands on her hips. "It's roast beef," she answers.

The kick connects, sending a flash of pain through his shin, although he hardly reacts - just a soft grunt of surprise, a flash of confused irritation, and then Heidi is walking away from him, leaving a gently bruising ache in place. Well then. It takes a few strides, long brisk ones, and he reaches out to grab— not her arm, or even her shirt, but a handful of glossy black hair, yanking her head back as he pulls her back towards him. His other hand lashes out to grip her throat, and all the while, his face is a calm mask.

"Question," Logan hisses, keeping her pressed close, his chest to her back. "When did you start thinking you were in control? I really didn't mean to give you the wrong impression so let me set you right again."

"Nnh—! "

That was unexpected, and, were Logan looking at her face, he'd see the momentary surprise that crosses it, then the horror in her eyes as she wonders…

Maybe this is the end of innocent naivety that's been a driving force for Heidi her whole life. Look at the world through rose-coloured glasses, and nothing really seems so bad. Except for the fact that she hates Logan so much at the moment that it's impossible for her to expect any better than the absolute worst from him.

Nathan. "Nathan, don't," she says. It's not that she won't call him Logan, it's that she's specifically talking to someone else.

Her fingers reach up, fingernails digging into his skin. "No, I am. I'm keeping your secret. I've been thinking about this." And, just in case he's thinking of ending her right here, she adds, "Peter has Mara's ability."

"I know Peter has Mara's ability," Logan says, flatly, apparently not reacting too much to the feel of her clawing into his wrist. His grip stays strong. "I'm not going to kill you. I don't need any more scandal, Nathan's got my work cut out for me enough as it is. No, I need you to be a good housewife, Heidi. That's all that's ever been asked of you. And once more, with feeling: Nathan can't hear you."

He releases her with an almost gentle push, stepping back. "You keep my secret and everyone gets to stay alive and unhurt. I attend to my career as I see fit. I'm not going to answer to you."

Not that Peter would actually think to use it right away, but with time… With time, he'd almost certainly want to figure out how his sister-in-law died. It would occur to him, and then he'd know. Logan's secret would be out. "Yet," Heidi says as she's pushed away.

It's weird, how Nathan's really talking about his own shortcomings here. Scandal? Yes, she knows. Brushing her sleeves smooth again, she turns to face Logan; she's afraid of him, but she's trying not to show it, and it's not easy. "If you're so sure that nothing I say is going to help Nathan, then what's the harm, Logan?" Maybe he's not so sure that Nathan can't hear anything. Maybe the fear is there that working through all this might give the tiniest opening! It gives her hope. She'll keep trying. "If this doesn't work after a week, I go on keeping this to myself. I'll accept that Nathan's beyond help. If you don't give me a week to try to reach him, then you're not going to have a career."

Silence falls, as it's wont to do, studying her and then moving past to go take a seat on the couch, arm draping along the back of it in a casual kind of posture. "You should really just make it easy on yourself and get the whole acceptance part over and done with," Logan says, coolly. "But if it will make you feel better so you can one day say to yourself that you did everything you could, then fine. I'm not completely heartless. What is you want to know?"

Once Logan's seated, Heidi sits as well, opposite from him on the couch, though facing, with her legs crossed in front of her. Really, she'll never be able to accept this, and it'll tear her apart, but Heidi will never give up on him. There's some part of Nathan that's still there.

"I want to know what triggered you," she says. "Why did this happen? Obviously, you know everything Nathan does. You know who I am, you knew how to get to the house, you knew Peter. So go through every detail from the point Nathan left the house before he disappeared. I want to know what he was thinking. Feeling. Everything."

Logan shakes his head a little. "I know broad brush strokes," he says. "Not the details. You think I pay attention or care about the petty things in Nathan's life? The trials and tribulations of Nathan Petrelli. No, there are more important things." He could be lying, but he's speaking in a tone that's calm and smooth, disdainful of the subject to the point of avoidance. "But you know what I do remember in technicolour and surround sound?" A faint smile. "The final months of 2006 through to 2007. Don't tell me that's not burned into your memory too."

"You are Nathan," she says through gritted teeth, the irritation evident in her voice. At the same time, she knows he's not, but they're sharing the same body. He's there. Every memory is there. Everything he ever did is in that brain, and Heidi fully intends to dig it up. If she can't have Nathan back, at least she can attempt to give Logan some of her husband's compassion.

Heidi looks away from him, uncomfortable. Of course she remembers. "I wanted to stay," she says. "You— Nathan sent me and the boys away." Didn't want to expose the boys to that, though the feeling wasn't mutual. Heidi believed that they should all be there to support their dad. Maybe if they had… "You're telling me that's when you appeared? Over a year ago?"

"No," Logan says, with a slight shake of his head. "Not 'appeared'. But it's what I remember best. It had something to do with it. Nathan felt me. Was me, in some ways. Likely the only time we've ever really… agreed with each other. And we didn't want you to stay." He talks as if they truly are separate people, a natural assumption he makes. He doesn't know what he is and doesn't really care - he just rejects everything Nathan is and dismisses it as someone else entirely. "Nightmares, visions, they didn't go away. Flashes in the mirror. After that, it was only a matter of time for him to fall again and require me to take over."

"But why?" she asks again, gentler this time. "What — " She pauses as Logan states that he— they? They didn't want her here. She knows that to be true, but she's sure that Nathan and Logan didn't have the same motives, if, indeed, Logan had anything to do with it.

As she looks back, she wants to see something familiar about him, but even if the appearance is the same, there's nothing recognisable there.

"He didn't fall. You're just another part of him, some… thing that he didn't have use for for forty years. Going through what he did would have an effect on anyone. So why. Why is he dealing with it like this? Why are you dealing with it like this?"

Heidi sees him as two separate people, while seeing him as one person at the same time. They're not separable. They're like two parts of a whole, and if she can just fuse them together, get them to agree again… That was the point of separation. "It's not the only time you agreed. That's just the point where you stopped agreeing with each other."

Logan considers this last statement, briefly inspecting his nails before he nods, once. "Yes," he says. "Nathan decided that some things were more important. Being a good man, for instance." This is said with a sneer, as if he doesn't really believe in the concept, or if Nathan could achieve it. If anyone could. "Taking stupid risks. No longer seeing the bigger picture, not being strong enough to make the decisions he had to." Like letting New York explode. "And he lay there and suffered for those mistakes, and I suffered, and then he was given his second chance. But what's done is done, in the end.

"And why now?" Logan head tilts a little, thinking over the period of slow conquer. "Enough pain can break a man. Enough brushes with death."

It hurts to consider that Nathan might have willingly given himself over to this. Abruptly, though, the two become two completely distinct figures in her mind, as if this is Nathan's twin, and Nathan's staring at her from right over her shoulder. Heidi jumps to her feet. "No, he became a stronger man when he made that decision. You're just— Just…"

She doesn't know.

Crossing her arms, she walks over to the window, facing it as she looks outside. It gives her chills now to turn her back toward him, but she's not going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that she's afraid. She starts to internalise things, to work things through on her own, but she wonders if maybe this would work better if she were expressing these things to Logan. "It's hard to believe that you're Nathan's mistake. It'd be easy to just blame you and get it over with." Living in someone's shadow, being someone's tool - that breaks a man. Not doing the right thing. Turning toward him, she says, "I don't hate you, Logan," before she leaves the front room, heading for somewhere where she can hopefully be alone for awhile.

Logan lets her go, watching her departure with a raised eyebrow. Some silence, apart from the sounds of two dogs breathing heavily, one of which approaches him for ear scratching, sensing no difference between this man and their real owner. Logan briefly scratches the dog's ears as silently requested, before pushing himself up to stand, scars twinging. "Well, then that's progress," he tells the empty room, before vacating it to occupy his own corner of the house.

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