2007-03-20: That's What Science Is For


Lee_icon.gif Nima_icon.gif

While composing some drumtracks, Lee asks Nima for her opinion about several uncanny — and even unsavory — recent events. Shock be, the replies are very sensible. It also turns out that Asperger's Syndrome isn't what is meant by supah powahz.

Date It Happened: March 20, 2007

That's What Science Is For

East Village - Jones Residence

Lee has gotten a bit more 'serious' about the band lately and, conversely, has had more fun practicing, turning the amp down and trying to get new sounds out of the old electric violin, hammering away at the classical pieces he loves as well as the pop pieces that make the band what it is. With an old-school 486 wired to a synthesizer and turntable, they're putting together beats, samples, and sounds here and there. "It smells good!" he calls into the kitchen, where Nima has gone to check whatever it is she's brewing in between 'the finest sound 1983 has to offer', as the sticker on the side of their computer terminal says.

What smells so good is as mundane of as the Jones family name. It's pot roast. That's right. Pot roast. With baby potatoes and leafy greens. It may not sound all that exciting but it'll taste absolutely delicious. The woman has a knack for working all kinds of magic in the kitchen. As far as music goes, a souped-up PowerBook is Nima's mother brain of choice, fired-up with Logic 7 (since 8 won't be released until September, dagnabbit) and wired to all the inputs and outputs that she wants to feed. "Sounds good!" she calls out to the main room, mirroring her twin, to an extent.

Lee launches into a beeping, synthetic version of Puccini, then chants some Harvey Danger lyrics over it, experimenting with the rhythms. "So the date was a disaster," he says. "But I might still get a second one."

The secret to succulent pot roast? First of all, start with quality meat. That can't be faked, yo. Second, a secret blend of herbs and spices mixed with a hand-made marinade. Lastly, a can of Guinness strategically placed and punctured to act as a heat-time moderated geyser that vanquishes all semblance of dryness. Gotta love science. Having finished whipping-up a raspberry vinaigrette for the tossed salad, Nima rinses off the whisk, washes and dries her hands, and then rejoins Lee. "Oh, yeah?" she asks about the disastrous date. "That's good." The possibility of round two. "Did you put the moves on her?" There is no way she could not ask. Nuh-uh.

Lee says, "Kiss at the door. Pretty good considering my pants were half-torn off by a kebab stick when she arrived, and before the night was over I was mistaken for a Koreatown pimp with her as one of my hos," meditatively. "How are things going for you? Got the shop's taxes all squared away?"

Tapping a small drum pad, Nima starts to compose the first track of a beat. "Kimchi Lee." That is his official pimp name, as of now and forever. "Y'know," she adds, "whoring your date isn't a socially acceptable way of going dutch." The tapping is stopped and the beat played back for appraisal. Judging from the expression, she's not too keen on it. MUTE. New track. New beat pattern. "Yeah. Filed a few weeks ago. Still in the black." A bright grin.

Lee says, "Another five bucks I owe you. Try it in waltz time? Go super slow first." He switches to the keyboard and tries to layer in a couple of chords on the troublesome beat. "What did you think of those weirdos over at Cass' place?"

Those five dollars will go straight into the green apple soda fund. It's a bit like reinvesting into the shop. "Waltz it is." Track two is ceased and also set to MUTE. The rejects can always be deleted later and might still end-up being used. "3/4, 3/8 or 6/8?" As for the question, "Cock Knocker & Co.?" Mark Hamill reference passed-up? Ain't gonna happen. "Jack seems like a bit of jackass. As for Lachlan…" Well, hey. It's pretty obvious why Cass keeps him around. Nima didn't even need to see the guy in his boxer shorts to figure that one out. "Planning on having a poker night?" Smirkity smirk.

Lee says, "I'd make a lot of money that way, if I could put myself through the misery. Try 3/8. She always seemed a bit level-headed for someone who makes their money on alien invasions and psychic powers…." He looks over at Nima with a smirk of his own, lets the pause drag out juuuust long enough to add: "…and have it filed under nonfiction. Almost relieved to see she's got /some/ part of her that's a kook. Ugh, it's still not right."

"Well, duh." Nima give Lee a /look/. A preemptive 'you just missed your chance to diss' look. Mainly because she beats him to it. "She is my friend, after all." A pause. "Although, really, I think that's more kooky than being a kook." Oh, semantics. Instead of manually tapping it out, like she did the other two, a few keystrokes are instead opted for, thus producing the 3/8 beat. What to add, now? Oh, what to add?

Lee adds nothing for a little while; he fusses with the controls on the keyboard. "Well, I'm worried those guys may be dangerous. When they came into her shop the first time I met them? They were all wearing ski masks and dark clothes, and they had a dog with them that had been /shot/. Taking advantage of her, feeding her a line about this or that delusion so that they can launder money through her store or something." He shakes his head.

Gently, Nima's brow furrows and she nods a little. "I'll talk with her." That's what friends do. Get each other's backs. "I suspect that Lachlan is just a 'bit o' the rough'. Dunno about that Jack guy." Besides, he kicked Lee in the nads. Even if her beloved brother deserved it, the continuous threats are not cool. Not at all. "Anyway, what were they going on about?" Yeah. Clearly, someone wasn't really paying attention. Multi-tasking has never been her forte. And, evidently, the weave of some skanky bitch potentially catching on fire was Nima's priority, that night.

Lee says, "They claimed - maybe knowing what Cass' particular bit of kookiness is, not that I'm criticizing, since I have my own weird experience from the fire - that there was some evil corporation that had kidnapped some people with 'special abilities' and they had to go and stage a rescue, but…" Here he plays the 'dun dunh DAHHHH' chord that accompanies terrible revelations in crummy Saturday morning cartoons. "…someone ratted them out and the bad guys were waiting."

Realization. "Oh, yeahhh." Nima remembers that part. She and Lee had a Twin Moment, after all. "So, wait." Again, the gentle furrowing of brow — this time, in confusion. "Rescue? What kind of rescue?" Wait. What? "Special abilities?" Fancy that. She doesn't immediately think about Supah Powahz. In fact, what comes to mind is the thought: 'Who'd abduct people with Asperger's?'

Lee says, "They mean superpowers, you dingbat. Like the Shadowkitty guy who I thought saved Maria during the fire?" There's a past tense there that might not be completely past. "Anyway, apparently Cass saw something she couldn't explain either, and these people may be taking advantage of that belief. I almost bought into it for a little while too, but there were way too many holes."

So, wait. It's /not/ Asperger's? Nima blinks. Then, she blinks again. "What?" Wait. "Wait." Wait some more. "What the frak are you /talking/ about?" The confusion morphs into a look of 'wtf?' And then she rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Lee." Yeah. He can poke fun at her dorky hobbies but taking the piss about something like this is just dumb. "And it's Shadowcat, douchebag." Intermittently, she starts to add to the Waltz beat that is currently playing on-repeat.

Lee says, "I'm serious, Neems." He joins in with a melody on the violin; it's too flowery, though. The second time through is better. "It's weird to see something you can't explain. And you know me, I don't believe in /anything/."

A rotary phone tttttttttttttttttttt now comes in on every third 1/3, pausing for one measure before redialing. Lee may be serious but Nima just thinks he's being a schmoe. So much for the resident comic geek being all: 'Superpowers?! zOMG! Diving Bovine! What kind? How many? Blahblahblahblgeekeryahblahblahblahblah.' "You believe in being a pain in the ass. And that's what science is for." To explain stuff.

Lee is easygoing with her response; he shares it to some degree: "I know what it's for, dumbass. I'm just saying that what I experienced, I can't explain. Cass had a similar experience, and I think that's what those assholes are taking advantage of. It makes you vulnerable when you can't explain something." Like your parents disappearing suddenly in the middle of one unremarkable day.

"Look," she says, letting off a sigh. "You suffered a lot of smoke inhalation. That messes with your lungs. You probably just were hallucinating due to the lack of adequate oxygen." With a quirk of her mouth, she continues, genuinely caring about her brother and trying to not belittle his traumatic experience. "I know it seemed /really/ real, but I get like that, too, sometimes. You know… when I have night terrors." Sweet bejeebus. There was the one time that Nima woke-up shrieking and flailing her limbs all over, crying out to get a swarm of bugs off of her — because she was being collectively eaten — and she frantically tried to wipe-off some kind of digestive goo that coated all of her skin. No. Really. There totally was goo. In her mind, anyway, which carried the dream into reality. And, during those terrible 15 seconds, it was as real as anything. Funny enough, she doesn't even mind bugs, when she's lucid.

As for Cass… "Well, she's LARPed a few times but I seriously doubt she's hooked-up with some lamers." Yes. Nima has issue with people who just can't accept that a game is a game and not Real Life. "And that sounds like a pretty hard core game." Which, in a way, is pretty cool. Granted, that also means that she assumes that the dog wasn't a real dog. "Anyway, Cass is a really shiny penny. I'm sure there's an explanation." A pause. "Well, beyond a giant serpent swimming in Lach Mess' pants." It's ever so sad, but amazing sex can really fry the brain of even the most clever and sensible of people.

Lee says, "That would make sense, except that Maria experienced the same thing. Right down to every detail. Believe me, I don't have /anything/ in common with these kids…" Which belief is probably why they hate him so much, and vice versa "…so that is not to be expected. I didn't tell her anything about what I did or didn't see, and she said she was carried through a wall." He pauses in the improvisation to make clear: "I'm not arguing with you, I know there's an explanation, I'm just using it as an example. And it wasn't a game, it was a real dog and it was really shot. And killed. I saw the bullet get taken out of him! Just before that asshole punched me in the crotch for no reasons."

Something is missing from the generated drumbeat. Nima doesn't know what, just yet, but it will be revealed as other elements are added to the track list. "I dunno, Toto. That's the thing about hawt seXX0rs: they make even the smartest of people dumb." As for the student, she simply remarks, "If you both were in proximity of the same stimuli, it could happen." Imagining the same stuff. And, "Have you /tried/ finding a way to relate to them?" Apart from genes and a womb for about 9 months, it often seems that even the twins don't have much in common. No hate, though. Just lots of love. Bickering and snarky but loyal love.

Lee can be tone-deaf sometimes, even as the music starts to come together, so he takes her last statement as a joke, and he laughs. "Oh yeah. I'm Welcome Back frickin' Kotter," he says with a smirk. "Hey, that's good! Try it faster on this go-round."

"I wonder if he got fat, like John Travolta." Nowadays, Vinnie ain't so skinny. With a little fiddling, what is requested to go faster is made to go faster. Letting it cycle a few times, Nima muses, "I think the Rhodes'd be a nice contrast." Before anything can be done, though, there is a *ding!* from the kitchen. Roast is ready. More importantly, the missing component to the programmed drum track has been found. *ding!*

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License