2010-06-12: THE ONE WHERE THE HOMELESS WOMAN DIES

Starring:

Ace_V5icon.pngHallis_V5icon.pngJanet_V5icon.png

Date: June 12, 2010

Summary:

Hallis and Janet have it out. One is soundly beaten, one is arrested, and an innocent bystander dies…


"THE ONE WHERE THE HOMELESS WOMAN DIES"

Manhattan

"But that's silly, isn't it…? And a little bit insane, even to someone quirky and a little off-kilter like me. I mean I don't understand how an angel could pretend to be a vampire— it's not as if the vampires shine in the light. And angels are just… and his name is Archer. That's like almost… predictable— " Janet quips. All-in-all it's a beautiful mid-day in New York City. Dressed in an airy green sundress that brightens her eyes paired with white flip-flops dressed with shiny rhinestones.

The street itself is a hub of activity, particularly as it contains the single best ice cream vendor in the city; the very best in Superman flavour. With a broad grin she approaches the vendor, "I'll have a…" she side-glances Hallis and wonders if she'll be judged for her choice. "…what do you want?"

Giving Janet a pointed look (Hallis is all about the pointed looks these days), the young heiress just rolls her eyes and flicks her hand in a dismissive gesture. "You're kidding, right? Why couldn't he pretend to be a vampire? I mean, I play a were-GOLDFISH. I don't even think those things exist in real life. There's no books on them anywhere… and I looked."

As the pair stop at the streetside ice cream stand Hallis grimaces and looks around them. "You mean we're eating here? On the street? Did you know there are germs and dirty water on the street? Trust me, I know dirty water. I play a were-goldfish, so I have to keep my pores very clean and tiny."

The vendor just looks at the two women and then focuses on Hallis.

She's definitely feeling the pressure because she starts to look a little uncomfortable. "I- Uhm… Oh God… uhhh… Do I have to choose now? Do you have like a little sample cup? I don't know… I've never really had ice cream."

"Hey, jerkoff. Watch where yer goin'!" A heavily 'New Yawk'-accented voice comes up over the din of the city, not quite a yell or scream but still easily loud enough for whomever the voice's owner is to be heard despite the person being lost in the crowd for the moment. The victim of the verbal abuse comes peeling out of the crowd, a man in a nice suit who happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, followed by a beraggled street person who looks like she's about to spit nails in the poor person's back. "Yeah, that's what I thought. Get the hell out of here."

Ace's tirade stops before she can pick up steam, her eyes going wide when she notices that the crowd is a lot larger than she anticipated and she freezes, her gaze shot here and there, left-right-up-left, before it lingers on the ice cream stand and those standing there. Yeah. She's feeling all sorts of vulnerable right now.

"YOU'VE NEVER HAD ICE CREAM?! NEXT YOU'LL TELL ME YOU'VE NEVER SEEN AN EPISODE OF ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS!! MY GOSH HALLIS…" Janet reaches for the other woman's shoulders and virtually shakes her— assuming she's allowed, her own excitement spilling over. Her voice changes to a whisper, "It's like… you missed out on a childhood…"

She turns to the vendor now, her mouth slightly agape while her eyebrows furrow. "Well that's it. You need to try them all. We'll simply have to get one of each! And honestly, everyone knows you get the best ice cream from the random hole-in-the-wall-places or in this case the in-the-middle-of-the-block kind of places. EVERYONE who eats ice cream knows that anyways. Never fear, Janet McCarty is here! And I may be a doctor, but my real specialty is…"

She cuts short, however, at the new tirade created by the street person. Her cheeks flush slightly. "Do you want some ice cream?" Nope, she's not afraid of street people; dealt with them in the ER.

Shaken but not stirred, Hallis is left a little jolted by Janet and gives her a look that exudes stunned. "Ice cream is bad for teeth, so is popcorn." It's a little tidbit of information she imparts as she eyes the chalkboard menu in a rather dubious fashion. "Plus it makes you fat."

The petite blonde leans back a little bit and cranes her neck to eye Janet's posterior for a moment before wiping the look off her face and giving the other woman a dazzling smile. Turning to the vendor, she imparts the same dazzling smile to him and shrugs. "I don't want a whole one of each, can't you just put a tiny spoon of each into a cup? Those waffle thingies have been sitting outside all day and are probably covered in germs."

"Do I…" Ace blinks and then scoffs, snorting about as loud as she had yelled at the guy she just chased off, the sound pulled from deep in her chest only to be expelled rudely from her nose. "No, I don't want any damn ice cream." It doesn't dawn on her to at least try to act grateful but it's probably easy to assume that she's not the most polite person in the city. Hearing Hallis' commentary, she can't help but snicker, her eyes rolled heaven-wards as she shakes her head. "Hey kid. If you're paranoid about germs and crap then you are sure in the wrong city, let me tell you. It's one big germ."

"A little bit of ice cream doesn't make you fat. If you eat ice cream every day for several days and make sure you eat little else then, yes, you will get fat. Sampling a little of everything doesn't make you fat." Janet arches an eyebrow skeptically and catches the glance at her posterior. "I'm a doctor. I went to school for like my whole life and then some. The germs you acquire from trying on shoes at a store are more than eating a waffle cone. I can virtually guarantee it— and really any time spent in a mall or a store is virtually the same. Trying on clothes has that effect, most stores don't steam between people trying on clothes— unless you hire a nearly-identical model to try on clothes for you— " And theoretically Hallis can do that.

The attitude from Ace, however, is met with that upbeat spirit Janet was known for in the quiet halls of the Alpha Protocol. "Excellent~ more for me and Hallis~" She grins broadly. "And is it possible to sample the flavours the way she suggested? It would be really really great if you do— " she asks the vendor spritely. "And unlike my friend, I'll have a scoop of Superman ice cream. IN a waffle cone…"

"Superman ice cream?" Hallis quirks an eyebrow and gives Janet a sideward glance. "You know, when we were in Paris, Jaden was looking all over for that kind. Did you know they don't have it in France? Anywhere?" She nods, her mountain of blonde hair bouncing a little as she does so. She just assumes that Janet knows the Jaden. He is, after all, THE Jaden Caine.

Unlike Janet, Ace's attitude is received and delivered back in tenflod. "Well you don't have to be so low class about it. She was only trying to give you… uhm… I don't know a meal or something. Are you homeless?" After posing the question, she sidles a little closer to Janet, as if for protection. Who knows what germs a homeless person is carrying, the last one she met threw up on her brand new Jimmy Choos.

"What the hell is Superman flavor," Ace inquires snarkily. "Is it like…the flavor of his sweaty tights or somethin'? Must taste nasty." She glances at the person trying to sell the forementioned frozen treat and she smirks, trying to egg them on by smiling cockily to them. "Makes me glad I have no desire to try it. Would probably get jock itch on my tongue or somethin' like that."

Of course Hallis eggs her on just as she tries to get everyone else's goat and she sneers, what little of a jovial mood she had gone in a flash. "Look, I don't need anyone's damn charity, alright? Your friend should save it for those who really need it like the junky whores and their drug babies." As to the question she's asked about if she's homeless, Ace doesn't bother to answer that, leaving it for Hallis to wonder about although it's probably very safe to assume that she is by how she's dressed and behaving.

Erin said not to jump to conclusions. Erin said to talk to Jaden first. Erin said. Erin said.

No matter what Erin says, Janet is a feeler. She's emotive. Logical, rational, but emotive.

Her face pales as her fight or flight mechanism takes over. Her hands ball into fists involuntarily for a moment before she takes her waffle cone from the vendor and twitches. It's small, but it's visible.

Her cheery disposition vanishes.

Her lips turn into a frown and then an angry scowl.

And then something happens.

For the first time in a long time, something happens.

Logic loses out.

"YOU'RE THE FLAKY BLONDE TRAMP SLEEPING WITH MY ALMOST-BOYFRIEND?!"

Uh-oh.

In a matter of seconds Janet's free fist (lest she lose her ice cream) is balled and flying towards Hallis' eye.

The news of Jaden, unfortunately, absorbs all of Janet's attention. Although, now that she's lost her temper… she kicks the ice cream stand all-too-hard (she's been practicing yoga everyday since Parker moved in) which tips towards Ace.

CRACK

Hallis screams and staggers backward, both hands over her face. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! WHO THE HELL?!"

Before the ice cream stand tips, she's already grabbing a fistful of the creamy delight and diving forward to smush it in Janet's face. Just as Janet's fist rang true, Hallis' assault by icy ball lands square on her nose… and smears as the socialite's hand wipes it all over. Truly, she was attempting some sort of serious assault, but her physical prowess mades it fairly impossible.

"Somebody call the police! I'm SO pressing charges! You BITCH! You destroyed my face!!!"

"…" Ace is floored as those she took for being friends suddenly go at it, causing whatever she might have wanted to say to kind of flee from her head, leaving her mute. The entertainment is enjoyed for as long as it takes for her to realize that the ice cream cart is falling and is heading in her direction as it does, causing Ace to have to jump back. She's almost successful in getting out of the way but the edge catches her shin, causing the fishnet to be torn more and for the flesh under it to be broken, resulting in a nasty gash. "Hey! God dammit! You both are…effin' insane!" The word 'police' that's screeched by Hallis keeps the homeless chick from getting involved despite how she'd love to grab them both by the hair so she could try to knock their heads together, the last thing she needs being another arrest on her record.

"Aeeasieahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Janet screams loudly as the ice cream is smeared in her face, both at the coldness and the mess that she has since become. The ice cream is mostly pushed away from her face with the help of her dress sleeve.

"It wasn't that pretty in the first place! Waif thin has been out for ages!" she retorts back as she lunges towards Hallis again, her hand still balled into a tight fist. "You're the one off galavanting where you're not meant to be!!"

The vendor is already calling the police. Fortunately. For some.

When Janet lunges at her the second time, Hallis' first instinct is to utilize the minimal stunt training she's received. Grabbing the doc by both hands, she falls with her on top of the cart and rolls down toward the poor pinned Ace.

They land, inches away from the homeless woman's face with Hallis on the bottom, giving Janet the advantage. There's fear in Hallis' eyes for, truly, she doesn't know what all of this is about. "I WAS IN PARIS!! WE WERE SHOPPING!! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU ANYWAY?!"

Hallis' hands are still around Janet's fists but without the strength to do much, Janet is in prime position for a good game of 'don't hit yourself'.

Flight or fight is a near-constant state of being for the flighty, anti-social Ace but it's kicked into over-drive, the need to get the hell out of here screaming in her head, telling her to run but with her leg trapped she's unable to do anything but try and free herself giving Janet and Hallis ample time to bump into her as they fight like cats. "Ooooph!" Eyes shooting wide, she stares at them both, not sure what to do, the fact that she's for once the innocent victim new to her, causing her to freeze. "Dammit…if I wanted to see a bitch fight I'd hang around a club just before closing."

Janet is primed for this game of don't hit yourself, but pulls her fists downward towards Hallis' thumb area. Good, bad, or, ugly, Janet knows how to get out a of a grip. Poised to hit Hallis again she freezes. Her wrath disappearing as quickly as it had come.

"Wait." She freezes and blinks, melted ice cream caked over her features in a wet ultra-sticky mess. "You were shopping?"

It's unfortunate, but true the way Janet's lips quirk upwards into a broad toothy grin, lopsided in a way.

Her cheeks flush slightly, "Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry, seriously, so sorry… the media… they… and I being me… and I shouldn't have… but you were… and I was… I'm sooooo sorry…." she's smiling despite it all. "…the media twisted what was happening and then I jumped to conclusions that Jaden was with a well… a blonde flake, but in this case it wasn't a blonde flake it was his personal shopper which makes waaaay more sense…"

Janet has stopped her assault but Hallis hasn't. Flinging the brunette's hands back at her, the celebutante begins to bawl. "What is wrong with you people!?!? Get off me!! Does crazy run in your gene pool or something?!" Janet's sudden change of tune is lost on Hallis and she twists until Janet is bucked off of her small frame.

When she scrambles to a stand, she looks down at Ace and blanches. "OH MY GOD YOU KILLED HER!!" The fact that Ace is still conscious and talking to them? Doesn't matter. Hallis kneels back down beside the homeless woman, waving her hands over her face. "SOMEONE ARREST THAT PRETEND DOCTOR!! SHE KILLED THE HOMELESS WOMAN!!"

Ace grunts. "I'm not dead, you freaky ass….did the peroxide kill your brain cells? Go away!" The tugging is finally rewarded by the freeing of the trapped limb and she's scrambling onto her feet, doing so causing the red that was working on congealing to run down her shin when the surface tension's broken, it staining her sock red once it starts to soak into the thick cotton. Looking down and then to Hallis and Janet both, her jaw tenses before a rather lengthy string of curse words begin to errupt from her. It's starts with a few four-letter words only to go downhill from there, ending with a few insults that are both crude as hell and most likely made up on the spot. "I'm probably going to need stitches or something," she manages to get out once she's calmed a bit, her face paling when she says that. Doctors are so not her friend. Especially the crazy ones who drop kick ice cream carts on her.

"I am a real doctor— a fact you were exposed to when I stitched your hand and it didn't scar. Seriously I belong in plastic surgery… too much money there though— " she wrinkles her nose. "— and she's still alive— her chest is moving people who are dead don't have their chests move… this was all an unhappy misunderstanding," Janet is now kneeling down at the homeless woman.

Despite how unhappy it may or may not be, Janet is virtually beaming. For the first time in days she's feeling delighted; Jaden is one of the good ones and her judge of character is back in place as it should be. She backs away from the pair, but doesn't dare flee. Instead, she sits on the edge of the curb, still smiling— like a fool.

"Well. I could stitch it for you. Then at least you don't have to go to a hospital. But I don't have any of my tools with me… or I could send you to a friend. I have a few still working in the hospitals here. And a few in clinics. They'd see you right away if I sent you. It's like having triage one doc to another." She winks.

"Unhappy misunderstanding?!" Hallis is positively livid, her right eye (the same one punched by Erin) is already starting to blacken and swell. "You destroyed my face and I'll get fired all because you decided to get all … McCarty on me!! What is wrong with you people? Is your entire family mentally unbalanced?"

Ace? Well Janet's got her in hand. Hallis just looks down at her again and shakes her head. "I'll come to your funeral when Doctor Death, decides to make it worse instead of better." Because that's what happens when you mess with a McCarty, worse instead of better!

The socialite stands and moves over to the vendor for a bit of protection, that is, until the traffic cop arrives on the scene. He's a little overweight, red in the face, puffing from a bit too much exercise. At least he's here. "Officer! I want you to arrest that woman!!" Hallis points at Janet and shoots a glare in her direction. "She assaulted me! I want to press charges!"

Ace shakes her head and slaps at Janet's hands if she makes to touch her, not anything that'd hurt if she were to actually make contact, it being more a frantic batting than anything painful. "No. I'll get it looked at on my own. Just…don't. Er. Thanks, though." Now she chooses to show gratitude, the thanks given in an effort to…er, do something. At this point Ace has no clue what it is she's doing besides wanting to go away. Far away. When Hallis speaks to her she quirks an uneasy grin which is swept away by the sight of the police officer, he being one who has ticketed her numerous times for jaywalking along with other offenses, his presence getting her to wince. "Hey, it's my favorite ticket-pusher. How's it going, Officer…" Never having gotten the dude's name, she finds herself uncertain how to continue, it getting her to fall quiet for a while. "Yeah. So hey. Was nice meeting you both," that said to the Wonder Twins, "but I think it's time for me to let you take care of business. I'm off like a prom dress." Or at least she hopes to be unless her departure's somehow hindered.

Janet rolls her eyes, but she's still smiling as she offers her wrists willing to the officer, "She's right. I did assault her. I'm confessing. Feel free to take me in if you have to. I know the routine." She virtually glows as she says these words. "I have no prior history, no parking tickets, speeding tickets, or prior misdemeanours…" in other words, she's pretty much getting community service. She shrugs a little and can deal with a single arrest on her record.

A glance is given to Hallis accompanied by a broad grin, "I'm actually not working right now. Don't have to. I have a wealthy sugar daddy who loves me more than bees love honey or something." Ironically this isn't Jaden. "So… getting me fired would be moot."

She nods a little at Ace before standing from her spot on the curb. "Alright, officer, shall we all go to your car or something so you can take Ms. Van Cortlandt's statement?" Stark difference from when things started here.

"Who is talking about you?! This isn't about you!! This is all about ME" Hallis points to herself and the massive black shiner that's developing on her face. "You think they're going to keep me on set with you and your sister beating me up every time I turn around?! I'm going to SUE!!" She glares at Janet from behind the officer, shooting her a look that could kill a mortal fifty times over.

"It's a conspiracy, I swear it is! All because they like me better on the show than her skeezy sister!" Yes, Hallis went there. Low blow. In the blonde's defense? She's in great pain. "Arrest her so I can sue her for everything she has and more!!!"

"Ohhhhkay, yeah. Buh-bye, kiddies. And lay off of the Superman ice cream, whatever the hell that is. Think the artificial coloring and tight-flavored crap's going to your heads." Pointing to her skull, Ace moves her finger in the universal sign for insane, that meant for Hallis and Janet both. Giving the policeman one last, wary look, she waggles fingers to the trio of assembled bodies before turning around and disappearing, leaving in a hurry.

"Like I have anything, some of us devote our lives to taking care of others not a lot of money in that, I'm afraid," Janet quips back with another roll of her eyes. And truth be known, she's still smiling. The threats don't really damage someone who has nothing worth taking. "Wait… Erin hit you?" Janet's grin turns to sheer puzzlement as the officer sure enough cuffs the doctor and carts her away in the car.

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