2010-05-19: Twilight Torture



Date: May 19, 2010


There's only one thing that a man truly fears….

"Twilight Torture"

The Highway

Closing Time o/~

Unfortunately, it's not a good night. But then again, it's never really a good night when someone has left Archie Wheeler to close up shop. Then again, to be perfectly honest, the only person really capable of closing up, without screwing things up, would have to be Archie Wheeler. He is, at the moment, finishing up the locking of the doors of the Food Court, but that's about the end of it. He's not exactly paying too much attention to anything… because he's rocking his delicious iPod at the moment. Who knows what song he's listening to. It doesn't really matter. He's much too happy to be dancing his way off towards his El Camino, swinging his keys around his finger and just bopping off towards the parking lot.

"Ice Ice baby! Too cold! Too cold!"

Oh, hell naw.

Parked between Archie and his orange El Camino is a lovely little sportscar, black, with tinted windows. The passenger side is visible to him and when he approaches, the window rolls down to reveal a woman with long sable hair. A small smile is graced to the man-boy and she reaches over to massage the passenger seat.

"Archibald Wheeler." His name is said in a soft murmur, stated not as a presumptuous question but as a fact. She knows who he is. "Will you do me the honor of taking a little drive with me?" Her voice is soft yet commanding, as though she won't take no for an answer. "I have something I would like to show you." Her South African accent is a little subdued, painfully so, as though she is deliberately trying to sound much more American than she actually is.

"Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it!"

Yes, Wheeler is actually doing the full on Vanilla Ice dance right about now. This helps with the earbud popping out of his ear… just in time for him to hear the voice coming from the car in front of him. He just kind of does something of a triple take, before he pulls the other earbud out of his ear and tries to focus on the fact that there's a female actually talking to him. On purpose.

"Uhhhhh! You do realize you're talking to the biggest geek on the planet, right?" Archie's smirk falls the moment he realizes that there's something amiss. Pause. "Hold on. Wait. Let's rewind this tape for a second, because I don't believe OJ did it." Tilting his head, he actually takes a small step back from the car door. "How'd you know my name?"

The woman points to his name tag, "Your name tag says Archie. I was pointed in your direction by a mutual friend. As for being the biggest geek on the planet, did you not know that 'geek' is the new 'chic'?" One eyebrow is lofted skyward as she awaits his answer. Crooking her finger toward him, she curls it slowly, attempting to lure him closer.

A sultry smile accompanies a pair of narrowed eyes as she gazes at him through her long eyelashes. "Come, we have much to talk about you and I. I do not wish to ask again."

Reaching over, she pulls the handle of the door, letting it pop open and then pushes it.

Wheeler is not in the business of worrying about what in the heck is going on with this chick. "Listen, you're hot and everything, but I'm not exactly going to be getting into your car. You do not understand the stuff that happens to me around this place. And, no offense, like I said, you're hotter than smokin', but I've learned from way too many comic books and movies that people like me shouldn't get mixed up with people like you." Dramatic pause. "Especially when they have their own cars." With that said, Wheeler holds up his keys and jingles them a bit more, before he moves to kick at the woman's car door and shut it back closed. He starts to walk away, but finds himself stopping and turning back. "But! If you ever want to come by and make out next to the fries, please don't hesitate!" Wink!

Shifting, Vasha opens her door and steps out of the car. "I did not wish to ask twice. I wanted us to be the best of friends, but you seem intent on making this difficult." Even in flat shoes, she's still fairly tall, almost as tall as the man himself. Stepping up beside him, she gives him a cordial smile before something solid jams into his side.


It's the sound of a gun being cocked. "Now then, since we are reduced to this, let us get into the car where we can be on our way. Hmm?" Her free hand claps on his shoulder and she gives it a gentle squeeze.


Archie has no issues with being loud and proud about the fact that people want to try and take his life away. All he's trying to do is go home. That's all he wanted to do. Go home. There was so much Halo to play. "Fine. Okay. Just… I'd rather we go for a do over, than you forcing me into the car. It kinda' messes up my whole Sleek Geek image I'm going for here. So, how about we do this? You get back in the car, give me those sexy eyes again and this time, I'll accept the invitation and we can make sure this kidnapping doesn't ruin my reputation." Wheeler flashes a somewhat (hopefully) charming smile.

"I am quite afraid the time for niceties is over, Mister Wheeler. For now, I would like to lead you to the car where you will get in." She meets his charming smile with one of her own, still guiding him toward the car. When they reach it, the woman opens the door with the hand that was previously on Wheeler's shoulder. "Get in." It's a bark of a command, all indications of her former pleasantness gone and her accent is back to its norm.

Giving him a light shove, she waves the gun toward the open door. "I will give you to the count of three…. One…"

Great. Juuust great. Why does this always happen to him? Honestly, all he ever wanted to do was play video games. That's it. Nothing wrong with that, right?

"Alright, alright. Just… be careful with me. I'm very fragile, you know. I'm a bleeder. I've got weak bones. Did I forget to tell you how much acne I had in high school? It was insane. The jerks called me Craterface…" He's hoping that all of his chatting and stuff will get him treated less roughly. But he's getting himself into the vehicle, making quite sure that his PSP gets dropped as quiet as possible on the floor as he sits down. Constant voice hoping to mask the damn thing falling!

Once Wheeler gets into the car, Vasha pulls the safety belt down and winds it around his hands a few times before buckling it into its latch. "Do not worry Archibald Wheeler, I will be quite careful with you. I do not wish to harm you, but we must leave straight away." Her voice as taken on a rather musical quality as she speaks to him. She doesn't notice the PSP dropping to the ground and actually kicks it underneath the little sports car as she crawls over the man on her way to the driver's side.

On her way over his lap, she pauses to transfer the gun to her other hand and then pull the door closed and lock it. "Behave, I do not wish to get ugly, I do not think you would like what it is I can do." As a small hint, she squeezes him between her thighs, a small show of strength that is released almost as quickly. "Now then…"

Sliding into the driver's seat, she starts the car with the quick turn of a key and zooms off, crushing the poor PSP under one of her tires.

"Whoa! Okay, this is too much of a safety hazard. First of all, that was so hot." Wheeler must be talking about having the sexy woman crawling over him and things of that nature. But he's back to feeling violated in the next moment. "Secondly, if you think I'm gonna' jump outta' a moving vehicle, to get away from some hot babe that apparently wants me so bad she can taste it… then you don't know the male species." And even though he's trying to tug himself free, to no avail, he just keeps on with the chattering. "Also, I have to open tomorrow, so I don't care if you sex me all night long, but I gotta' be back at the Court by seven."

Vasha is quiet for the first part of the trip, only when they enter New Jersey does she actually begin speaking. "You smell like french fries… and grease. It is unbecoming of a young man such as yourself. What are you doing in an occupation such as that?"

She stays within the speed limits for the first part of their journey but once they're on the interstate and the towns grow further apart, she steps a little harder onto the gas pedal. "You will not be opening the Food Court in the morning, I am sorry. By morning we will be where we need to be."

Great. So not only is he stuck in a car with a hot babe that's very likely going to kill him. But he's also going to get so fired. This has to be quite possibly the worst day ever right about now. He cannot believe this is happening to him. And he knows who's fault it is too.

"Initiating Silent Treatment." And with a childish glare, he turns away from the crazy woman and starts whistling It's A Small World to himself, but with an obnoxious loudness that hopefully drives this woman crazy.

Infinite patience isn't something that the woman is known for. In response to his whistling she reaches across the span between them and flicks his lips with her middle finger. "Stop that now, or I will be forced to make you endure the most strenuous of tortures known to mankind." She gives him a catlike grin and narrows her eyes at him before turning back to the road.

"Perhaps we should talk about how travel is good for the soul of a young man. Have you traveled far from the city before?" The speedometer is climbing close to 120mph, from the signs whipping past them, it won't take long at all for them to reach the nation's capital.

"Okay. Let me explain the rules of Silent Treatment to you, Ms. Lip Flicker." He's actually upset. Someone like Wheeler is usually capable of keeping his cool, but it seems that he couldn't hold onto it this time. Not with being tied up and treated like some kind of criminal. And he's nothing but a kid that works at the damn Food Court! "You talk. I don't respond. Reason being, I don't like you. See how that works? Mahvelous! Let's try again!" He rolls his eyes and turns to look out of the window that's, well, making it look like they're about to go into hyperspace or something. Crazy women and their aggressive natures. Hmph.

The silent treatment is actually something that works for the woman. When he stops talking and starts looking out the window, she reaches down and flips on the stereo. Good news! Wheeler is in for a fantastic treat, an audiobook. Twilight. Wheeler's about to get schooled in the finer point of sparklepire.

She settles into driving and zones on the road, not even listening to the CD. This must be the greatest torture that she was talking about.



Wheeler is shaking uncontrollably in his seat at this point, as if trying to make himself either pass out or knock himself out or anything to get away from the audiobook of doom. He cannot take much more of this craziness. "IF YOU WANT TO KILL ME, JUST KILL ME. PLEASE. THIS IS WORSE THAN SMALLVILLE!" The only reason he keeps yelling is because when he's yelling, he can't really hear the Twilight playing.

Calmly reaching to the CD player, she turns the audiobook down, but not off. Not yet. Unless he's got super hearing to hear it over his own calamity then it shouldn't bother him. "I do not wish to kill you. I am receiving a great reward for your status among the living." Turning her head slightly, she gives him a quick glance out of the corner of her eye and smiles just a little. "Now, tell me Archibald Wheeler, have you ever been traveling outside of the city?"

"Oh, you mean besides your Mom's house?" Yes, the nerdy bastard has decided that he's going to answer her questions… but with smart ass remarks that should probably be kept to himself. "I think maybe we're a few enough years ahead of anyone following us. You can maybe slow down, now. AND UNTIE ME!"

The comment about her mother hits a nerve and her arm whips across and stops just short of hitting him in the adam's apple. "My mother… is dead. If you wish to travel to her house, I can make that arrangement." She narrows her eyes dangerously and turns to glare at him, this action alone has her slowing the car down, to five miles over the speed limit.

"Until I am certain that you are not going to try to escape you will remain as you are." She lowers her arm and places her hand back on the steering wheel. Her fingers tap lightly against the wheel, in a rhythmic pulse. "By the sarcasm of your answer, I will guess that you have not been traveling. Well you are in luck, Mister Wheeler, you are on your way to Cuba."

Okay. Wheeler has learned to stop talking once again. He was about to get knocked to Kingdom Come and now he's just going to sit here and be the hell quiet. Quiet seems to be the best way to deal with what's happening right about now. Especially, well, considering the fact that he almost got punched to death and has no way of defending himself. It sucks being the lame geek.


Okay, maybe he'll still offer the occasional sarcastic remark.

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