2008-03-08: When The Light of Day Comes

Starring:

Niki_icon.gif DL_icon.gif

Summary: A strained husband and wife make an effort to talk — about family and the future.

Date It Happened: March 8th, 2008

When the Light of Day Comes


Sanders-Hawkins-Dawson Residence

Queens, NYC

Morning comes early for one of the residents of the house — given that it's the weekend, Micah, and at least for now, Cam, don't have to be shuttled off to school, but Niki is awake. She's sitting on the floor, underneath the window, with her knees drawn up. Sun makes its way into the bedroom through a crack in the curtains above her, but it's still mostly dim and grey. The bed is still unmade, and Niki is still in the clothes she slept in — blue pyjama shorts, a white tanktop — and a soft grey sweater-jacket she grabbed at random moments ago, pale unbrushed hair still caught under its collar. Niki looks more like herself like this; more like the mom and wife. Gentler. More vulnerable. Not such a force of nature. Just its victim.

D.L. is doing that thing where he comes in. Been out and about with the fighting of the fires. Well, more than likely, not really making with the fighting of the fires so much as he was sitting around in the firehouse and waiting for a call. None came in. And now he's doing that thing where he's approaching the house and just phasing his way inside, as to not have to deal with opening the door and such craziness. His movements, of course, lead him right for the bedroom, so that he can get out of those heavy clothes. As he phases through -that- wall also, he notices his wife and immediately goes with the standard, now, "Hey."

Niki has something in her hands, at her lap — a small, silver phone, which she turns about over and over again, every so often pressing a button, waiting, waiting, shutting it off. She's downcast, lost in thought, none of it good. D.L.'s silent appearance only draws her out of it only partway. "Hey." Her voice is quiet, fractured — unused, since the day before until now. She smiles faintly. "You do a lot of that now." A glance to the wall. That he … walked through.

"Easier." That's all that D.L. says as he takes to pulling off the jacket that belongs to his firefighter's outfit of doom. He ends up laying it across the bed and immediately moving towards the closet so that he can figure out something regular to wear for the day. Which is always a good thing.

"You must be tired. You've been gone since last night." Of course, Niki doesn't know that much of that was a waiting game. She tips her head back against the windowframe, jostling the curtains. Giving up on the phone, she gets up and wanders, barefooted, through the room behind D.L. where she tosses it on the bedside table.

"Eh. Home now. S'all that matters." This is the part where D.L. decides to make it a point to not talk about his day (or night) with the wife because the conversation would just prove to be pointless. And it would be totally fake. "Kids okay?" is asked, because he's switching shirts and returning to his classic wifebeater (heh, heh) attire that he tends to feel the most comfortable in. Firefighty clothes are tossed into a pile.

"Sleeping in," Niki answers as she sinks down onto the edge of the bed, curling one bare leg underneath her. "They're okay." She's not in defensive mode this morning. She's not looking for a fight; she's trying to avoid one, given her soft, quiet words. The blonde simply has a lot on her mind, and it's clear that it's weighing her down — and the day has just begun. "We gotta … decide what to do about Cam."

"I say we keep him. Micah likes him. You like him." D.L. shrugs to leave himself out of the voting. Because, well, this is not a good vote for him. He doesn't count. He's the peacekeeper and the pretend-provider. He'll do whatever's best for the family. Tis always been his main concern. "We just go through the right channels, this time and get it done the right way."

"Yeah," Niki says quietly, drawing her other leg up on the bed, drawing them up with a hand on one knee. She doesn't look much at D.L., save for a glance here and there; to see where he is, to see what his expression is like. She never finds much. "He deserves… a good family." There's a pause; her head tips down, hair falling in around her face. "Timing could be better."

"We're a good family." The words are said and D.L. believes this. His tone just lacks the passion he's had for saying such things over and over in the past. He's grown tired of repeating himself. He's probably the only one that still believes it. "Don't worry about it. I'll make sure everything runs smoothly. You take care of your business." See? Supportive.

Niki is quiet for a small spell, fidgeting with the a tuft of yarn on a blanket. "Are we?" she suddenly asks, looking up straight at D.L., her searching blue eyes sans the shut-off, fiercer glint she's been carrying around. They're a little softer this morning. "A good … family, I mean. It's all … I want. To have a good family. To be a good … mother." She looks down swiftly again, sniffling once and smiling tensely, as if she's dismissive of herself.

"We're still together. We've been through every level of Hell imaginable, Niki. And we're all still here. We're all okay. We still all love each other." Honesty, of course. D.L. turns to lean back against the wall that he's standing at. Not even sure if he should take up temporary residence on the bed with her. "We can afford to share some of that love with Cam." Yeah, let's keep the topic focused on what it should be focused on.

Niki cares for Cam, but her mind is stretched broader. Quite frankly, she looks a bit miserable as she sits there running a hand through her slept-on hair, written on her bare face are a sliver of the raw emotions that, since her return, she's kept largely to herself. (If that.) "I know. I know that," she says sincerely. "But we're not…" She spares a look to D.L. "We're not here, D. You've been— " She smiles tightly, shaking her head. " —just saying the right things this whole time and…"

"Shhh. You're overthinking this. It's really simple." D.L. pushes off the wall, taking a step towards Niki.. but then realizes he may be going too far, too soon and ends up shifting directions to head over and pick up his firefighty jacket off the bed. Sigh. Want to hold her so bad but… anyway. "We're a family. You, me, Micah and now, Cam. We'll get through everything together. We'll do this? Together. We have to take the bad with the good. And if that means it's a little rough right now, while we try to figure everything out, then oh well. We'll deal."

While D.L. keeps it simple, the gears in Niki's head are clearly turning, going into overdrive as she looks back down, picking up a corner of the blanket and toying with it at her knees. They have the same wants, the same desires — for family, for everything to be good, to be stable, but suddenly they live in different worlds that only overlap in this house. "Maybe…" Niki begins; the optimism she starts out with in that singular word and the smile that follows is forced, but the hope is true. "When all this is over… we can… get a house. Somewhere with a lot of space. Get out of— Monica's hair, y'know. Micah and Cam could have their own rooms…"

"If that's what my baby wants, then a house is what she's gonna' get." D.L.'s carrying his jacket over to the pile now and letting it drop. He's not even sure he can afford it, but whatever the case may be, he'll find a way to make it happen. Things like that are what seem to be the most important thing to everyone at the moment. Houses and money. "I'll make it happen." And just like that, D.L.'s new project for finding them a house has been selected.

Niki's eyes follow D.L., this time; she opens her more a bit more to say something in response, the beginning of a suggestion, but cuts herself off before getting even a squeak out. She has money, now, from the very people she's secretly fighting against — isn't that always the way — but instead of saying so… in the back of her mind, she says keep it. Just in case. This time, the thoughts are her own. "That'd be nice." A softer smile finds its way to her face.

"It's done. No worries." And that's D.L. Already planning some kind of crazy heist in his head to get the money to pay for a house. "If you get a second, maybe you should pick one out. Go online, y'know?" Since he's figuring she's too busy to head off with some kind of real estate agent or something. "And I'll handle the rest." Maybe a bank. A bank robbery would do just fine for the sudden purchasing of a house.

D.L.'s been so unwavering all along, Niki just figures that's what he's doing now: being confident, supportive guy. She doesn't realize how he's thinking of "handling" a house. If only she did. "Yeah. I'll look," she says with a small smile still in place. "We'll both look," she amends. "I don't wanna make any fast decisions." And Niki doesn't want to make any decisions right this second, it would seem, since she flops over onto her side, drags a pillow toward her face, and goes 'mmmmmh'. It's the weekend, but there are still things to do that require getting dressed. Why, cruel world.

… "Okay." D.L.'s pretty much done with that part of the conversation then. He's chalking that up to her not really wanting the house and just saying so for some sort of semblance of normalcy to kick in around her lifetime. So the subject is dropped right then and there. His thoughts moving right to 'yeah right' as he takes his place back up on the wall. "How's… your business? Getting handled?" Still don't want his help? He can't ask the last one aloud without starting a fight.

"It's getting handled." Niki hugs the pillow to her, curling up. "It's bad, D," she says after a few moments. She nestles her cheek against the pillow; unlike the comfort it provides, her expression is faraway from warm and safe. It falls into cold and distant, against the wall. "There's so … much."

D.L. wants to tell her to stop so bad. But she wouldn't listen. Nobody ever listens to D.L., since he's just some dumb ex-con, right? His eyes move down to the floor and his hands go into his pockets. "Still no chance in you quittin' whatever it is and comin' back to me, is there?" Maybe, well, asking will not start a fight that can only end in one of them storming out.

Niki shuts her eyes. Just for a second - to pretend, maybe, that this conversation, this whole … everything, isn't happening. But gone are the days that she deludes herself. Presently, she shoves up to look at D.L., propping herself up with one palm sinking into the mattress. The blonde's expression is more imploring than it is confrontational. "You don't understand, D.L. I can't. This thing is— it's bigger than you know. Logan and the people he works with want to change the world, and— it's not a world I want our son to live in. Or Cam. I am in this now. I'm not backing out, I'm sorry."

There's no push. There's no argument. There's nothing but D.L. raising his hands to make sure Niki knows that he's not trying to start any fights or anything. In fact, he was just asking. "Okay, okay. Just…" D.L. trails that one off, not even really ready to go into details about how much he doesn't feel like he's even married. "I'm gonna' go see if I can get some breakfast together. You around long enough to eat?" Oh, the changing of the subject.

Every time she tries to share something important— ! "I just want you to realize that I'm not just— " Niki brings a hand to her forehead, a few slender fingers clutching at her hair; she pushes it back and closes her eyes. "I'll be here. I'm… gonna have a shower and… clean the house." See, not all of her plans for the day involve "business".

"Niki. It's okay. I understand." And from the tone of his voice, it seems that D.L. does understand. He doesn't need any explanations. He's been there. He's done it. Over and over again. He just wishes he could be there with his wife through this. They used to be Bonnie and Clyde. Now they're… Sonny and Cher. With hotter bods. And now he's offering a smile of peacekeeping. "Good. Because I want to make you your favorite this morning."

He understands. It should be more of a comfort than it is. If he knew every detail and still understood— well, maybe that would be something. Nevertheless, Niki manages a smile that is very nearly warm, when D.L. makes the husbandly offer of breakfast. "I'll double-check the smoke detectors," she jabs lightly.

And it's that light jab that makes D.L. see the Niki that he fell in love with. And before he can phase himself through the wall and off towards the kitchen, he actually stumbles a half-step. And all of his defenses come down and he stares at her. Like he hasn't seen her in months. "… I missed you." He's hoping His Niki sticks around long enough to see and hear that, before he sighs and disappears through the wall.

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