2007-07-02: Word To The Wise


Candy_icon.gif Jaden_icon.gif

Summary: Candy and Jaden talk about girlfriends. Jaden's, that is. Candy doesn't have one (these days).

Date It Happened: 2nd of July, 2007

Word To The Wise

The Stately Cain Manor

Silence. Stately Cain Manor is always silent this… is it early or late? Who really knows when the house is a party place like it happens to be all of the time. Everything is dark. But footsteps can be heard, eventually. Slow and methodical footsteps that bring Jaden Cain from the kitchen and into the foyer. He puts his back up against the wall, holding something in his hands. When those hands come up… it's a Nerf Dart pistol. He takes a breath and peeks around the corner.


A Nerf Dart comes spinning at him from above. "Shit!" Jaden drops and rolls backwards, backing up against the far wall. "Give it up, Jadinne! You can't win!"

At the top of the stairs, with a Nerf Dart Sniper Rifle, Jadinne moves some of his hair out of his eyes and peers through the scope. "Jaden, honey? I'm an interior decorator. I've got an eye for things." He smiles and fires off another shot! "Like your head."

Jaden's eyes go wide as the dart sticks against the wall, right next to his face. "Shit. MOM!"

Candy could probably be anywhere in the large, Stately mansion and hear that 'MOM!' Unless she's unconscious, she has a sixth sense for these things. She doesn't come running, just briskly jogging down the hallway in what appear to be giant, fuzzy slippers, sportily style sleeping boxers and a T-shirt that says 'I Less Than Three My Mom' on the front. In one hand, is a glass of white wine, having not been willing to abandon it. "Jaden, are—"


She turns a corner and squeals as a dart seems to come flying out of nowhere. "Jaden!" she exclaims, and when she spots the Ditto, she plants one hand on her hip. "Stop playing with yourself!"

"Fatal Mistake, Cain!" Jadinne says, leaning out of his cover for a moment and cocking back the sniper rifle. "Risking your mother's life to save your own." Through the scope, Jadinne's got Candy right in his sights. Can't miss her with those … uh, targets. His lips curl up into a devious smirk, as he moves to pull back on the trigger.

The slow motion kicks in as Jaden pushes back up to his feet. He yanks out another pistol and shoves off the wall, running towards his mother! "Mom! Get down!"

Jadinne's slow-motion finger pulls back on the trigger, firing off that Dart of Doom! *CH-K-OOOOOOOOOOO!* The dart whistles through the air, flying at a slow-high speed towards Candy!

Jaden's feet lift him off the ground and he sails into the air, pistols are swung up and he pulls on the triggers, sending a volley of darts up and towards the railing where Jadinne took his shot from! Some fly through the bars and others smack against them!

Jaden takes the dart meant for his Mom in the chest and goes down hard! "Ugh!" His body slides and he sprawls out, fake blood oozing from his shirt.

Meanwhile, Candy is like this —-> O_O (Yes, those are meant to represent her eyes.)

Holding her glass of wine primly, her other hand in midflap, she stands stock still as Jaden makes his leap in front of her and smacks down onto the wooden floors. When she sees the blood, to Jaden's credit (or Jaden's money's credit), she does give a gasp of horror— but hell, Candy knows fake blood when she sees it, and her hand goes back down in a fist against her waist. "Didn't I tell you to take this outside?" she says. Pause. "And that I wanted to be invited?" She points at Jadinne warningly - don't even think about a second shot!

Jaden is on death row right now. His body is sprawled and he doesn't have anything left. He's barely breathing. "Mom…" He coughs, overacting this as much as he can.

Jadinne reloads, since he has time and lines up another shot. This one is aimed for Candy's head. "Goodbye, Mrs. Cain. It's been a pleasure."

Down below, Jaden disappears into the ether.

"Dude." Jaden's voice comes from behind Jadinne! And Jadinne swivels his head around to to see The Real Jaden Cain standing there. A Nerf Dart Shotgun aimed at Jadinne's skull. "Where's your brain?" *CHOOM!* The huge nerf dart comes out of the barrel and takes Jadinne's head off! Jadinne falls backwards and over the railing, disappearing before he hits the floor! Jaden looks over the side and smiles, holding up his Nerf Shotgun! "Hi Mom!"

Wince. He may be a Ditto, but he still resembles her son, and for a moment, Candy has a mini-heart attack in seeing a Jaden tumble down onto hard floor. Then, he disappears, and she breathes a sigh of relief, hand pressing dramatically over her heart. But, it's all in good fun, and she easily shakes this off, waggling her fingers up at Jaden. "It's a warzone up in here!" she comments. "I don't think all your Dittos like me much. You're the Jaden Original, right?" Her eyes dart around in case another one is gonna sneak out of nowehere.

"Guess that's for me to know…" And the Jaden up top disappears too, before Jaden Prime comes out of the kitchen with a bowl of cereal. "… and you to find out." He shovels some of those magically delicious marshmallows into his mouth and smiles milkily at his Mom. If she looks close, she can see that this is indeed the real one, since she's probably got that motherly instinct thing going on and so forth. Which, well, is always good in the event something ever does happen to Jaden. Not that he does anything to get himself into life-threatening trouble. "You can play next time! As long as you don't use those…" He can't even nod. Ew. "… as a distraction. Cuz: Gross."

Squint. Candy studies this one… and nods in satisfaction. THERE'S SOMETHING AROUND THE EYES maybe. Either way, she can tell if she looks carefully enough. God knows what it is she's looking for. She glances down at her assets, and decidedly doesn't traumatise her son by adjusting them in her bra out of satisfaction. Just sips her wine. "I'll come up with something else," she promises, with a wink. "Besides, isn't it cheating if you sort of, you know, control everyone on both sides of the game?" There's a hint of uncertainty in her voice. Hell, she doesn't know how this works, really!

Another spoonful of delicious sugary cereal is chomped and Jaden swings the spoon around, flinging milk. "Not really! I mean, I know stuff, but in the heat of the moment, they're all working on their own. Or…" He frowns. "I'm all working on my owns." He frowns more. "We're all working on our own. Except not. Because we're all me and I'm in control, but not." He shakes his head, dropping the spoon into the cereal. "… I think I just confused myself."

Blink. Blink. More wine sipping. "So it's not cheating," Candy sums up with a bright smile, pointing. "I get it." And the glass is finished off, and Candy starts to head for the kitchen to stash it somewhere and maybe locate some low-fat yoghurt to curl around. "Oh, guess who I met the other day!" she trills over her shoulder.

Jaden follows his mother towards the kitchen, since there's conversations happening. And conversations are always a good thing. "Um… Billy Crystal?" Where that came from, nobody can honestly know. But Jaden Cain's mind is one that doesn't particularly work too well. Especially, when he's coming down from being confused about what his own Dittos can and can't do without his knowledge. Or with his knowledge. It's… freaking crazy man.

Yoghurt found! Candy peels open the top and finds herself a spoon to poke it. Real strawberries, the labels claim. We shall soon see. "No, not Billy Crystal," she says, as if this were a likely option but is sadly wrong, today. "No, someone much much prettier." She licks her spoon clean and looks smirky. "Jane, I think she said her name was."


Jaden almost drops his cereal, but recovers enough to try and lean against the counter, cooly. He fails to look cool, but immediately goes into nervous mode. "Jane, huh? As in Tarzan? Or… hot girl that sleeps in my bed and walks around in my clothes and should've met you on more proper terms than what I'm assuming happened and how much trouble am I in?" Even though he's well into his twenties, Jaden Cain has a fear of being disappointing to his mother. Big fear. Poor Not-A-Kid.

Candy hopes up to sit on the counter opposite Jaden, legs crossed and slippered feet swinging a little. She's enjoying this, just a bit, though seems to be the picture of innocence. "No trouble," she says. "But— oh, she does that a lot? The uh. Walking around in T-shirts?" Head tilt, squint, then shrug. "Yes, well, she had some of my pancakes, they were the pink kind."

"Um… no? I mean, she does when she comes over. But she doesn't come over all the time! Just, y'know, some days out of the week. Like most of 'em." Jaden's probably digging himself into a giant hole here, but that's okay. Because, well, he does that a lot. "But she has her own place! Her own roommate! Her own clothes! All of that stuff, I swear!"

My, that's. Really regular. Clearly, Candy spends too many nights out on the town to even notice Jane's perpetual presence. Not too surprising, but it does make her raise an eyebrow at her son. A little accusingly. Though when she speaks, her tone is all sweetness, sunshine and puppies. "She told me all about herself," she continues. "A musician and a lawyer!"

"Yeah, pretty cool, huh? I mean, all I am is a the CEO of a multi-qua-billion dollar company. And I don't even like school!" Jaden shrugs a bit, putting the bowl down on the counter and comes around to lean back against it. "She's really cool, Mom. And she doesn't lord her big ol' brain over me, either. I don't think. I dunno… mostly I just look at her rack." It's cool to have a Mom for a BFF. You can say things like 'rack' and not get smacked in the face.

Candy smiles fondly at her son. AWW. ISN'T YOUNG LOVE CUTE. Ish. "Well, I can't say that having a girlfriend isn't fun," Candy says— then pauses and gestures with her spoon. "Well, for me— boyfriend. Except once in the— you know, this isn't about me, it's about you." She sets aside her yoghurt and dons a concerned expression. "Jaden, I just want to know you're being smart about this."

"Mom. This is me we're talking about. I can't even spell smart." Again, the young CEO downplays his intelligence. Either he really believes he's an idiot or he's faked it for so long that he doesn't even know he's actually capable of rational thought. Of course, with him slowing going crazy from being too many people, this whole being smart thing could end up honestly non-existant. "What're you saying? You don't like her…" Immediately, he's accidentally going into pout mode.

Candy hops off the bench to move closer, hands resting on Jaden's arms. "I like her fine!" she insists. "She's. Well I'm sure she's a very good lawyer! With a nice rack! That's what worries me, honey. You said it yourself, you're a qua-multi-million-gazillionaire."

Jaden blinks a little bit and frowns. "You think maybe she's pulling a Kanye West on me?" Jaden's starting to look worried at this moment. In fact, he's getting really worried. He's worth an unfathomable amount of money and now the idea of Jane not being true is entering his impressionable head. By no fault other than his own. This can't be good. He's like a child! "God, I gave her a key and everything…"

"I don't know," Candy says, hands dropping now and one hand raising so she can nervously bite a fingernail. "But even if she isn't, just— I want you to still be careful. If you get in with this girl, imagine, and even— I mean, if you married her or something, then it doesn't work out… well she is a lawyer, Jaden." A small apologetic smile. "That's just the reality of it. Trust me, I— know how it works." She was that girl.

Jaden just sits there, staring out into the empty space in front of his face. It's almost like a bolt of lightning strikes him. "… It's almost too perfect." is muttered underneath his breath. He's starting to put this crazy story together in his head. Could turn out to have some merit. Could be bullshit. But his Mom? His Mom wouldn't feed him bullshit. She 's not feeding him now. She's just… mentioning things. "What do I do? How do I know?"

Mentioning, and in her mind, protecting. That's all she can do now that her son's all adulty. Not that she's been the best at being maternal, but she does what she knows. And this is, unfortunately, what she knows! Candy shrugs a little. "I… well you should go with your instincts," she says, with a nod. "And remember, you're young. There's plenty of time, right?" Smile?

"My instincts? You mean like Wolverine?" Jaden snatches up a fork and holds it up, "Snikt?" Chuckling to himself, he just shakes his head and leans back to figure this whole thing out. His attention is drawn by his Mom's words. "Young. Right. My biological stopwatch hasn't even started yet! I've got plenty of time! I'm rich! I should going out there, throwing money around and having sex with lots of girls! It's the American Way!"

Yay! That's something Candy can relate to! Heck, she's still in this mindset and she's a (fucking fabulous, damnit) 41-year-old. She smiles happily. "Exactly," she says, reaching to patpat his shoulder. "Life's what you make it!" She's not really sure what that saying means, but it seemed appropriate! She tries another one. "Go get 'em tiger." Yeah, that totally worked too. "Now, I have an appointment with my beautician, so I'll be back around… well don't wait up. But I am very glad we had this talk."

"Me too!" Jaden wraps his arms around his mother and squeezes ever so tightly. "I love you, Mom." comes the sincere statement as he holds on for dear life. When he pulls back, Jadinne's standing next to him and Jaden turns to himself. "Dude. Glad you're here. I need you."

"I'm not gay."

"Not like that. I need your clothes."


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