2007-03-16: You Den Lost Your Damn Mind


Leroy_icon.gif Jeremy_icon.gif

Summary: Leroy returns home after a business trip to discover his BFF has gone insane.

Date It Happened: March 16, 2007

You Den Lost Your Damn Mind

Leroy & Jeremy's Apartment, New York City

Fresh off the airplane from his trip to hollywood helping some B-Movie actress do something or another, Leroy is the magenta and fur clad individual sporting a pair of big pink gucci sunglasses looking like a chocolate strawberry birthday cake gone horribly wrong. Keys jangle and jingle as he unlocks the door, kicking it open. "Luuuuucy I'm hoooooooome." He sing-songs, luggage and shopping bags at his feet.

Basically about a split second after Leroy's announcement, the toaster does it's thing, shooting up two crispy'd slices of wholegrain bread, although now they go ignored. "Mon ami!" Jeremy exclaims once he turns from the kitchen area, throwing his arms open wide with a big open grin. "You're early! Aren't you? Or was I totally meant to pick you up at JFK?" he asks, even as he walks on over to hug.

Leroy laughs and tosses the hair he does not have, rushing forward with his own arms open to meet that hug half-way, squeezing the man tightly and lifting him up some as he gives a hearty laugh. "I'm a bit early, yes and then I got a ride from Charlie, you know the Mehican Taxi Driver? With the jerry curl? Honeeeeey…I think I was meant to get stuck with him. Divine intervention." He chatters on, releasing Jeremy and stepping back as he pulls his shades off. "Look at you, your skin honey…I am so tired, the flight was hell on my delicate constitution!"

"Well, leave the unpacking for tomorrow," Jeremy suggests, now heading back to the kitchen, briefly burning the tips of his fingers as he takes out the toast before crunching into a corner. "How was Hollywood? Do you want any tea? I got this new black tea blend from that little place on that street, next to the building."

Leroy works on tugging/dragging/kicking/wrestling his 5 piece luggage set in, by the time he gets the last one in he's removed his fur coat and his suit jacket and set aside The Man Bag(tm). He wipes his forehead with the back of his hand, rolling his sleeves up. "Tomorrow is soundin' real good sweet pea." He drawls in his fake as hell accent. "Oh you know, the usual. Parties, Premieres, Fashion disasters. Little girls flashin' their coochies for the paparatzi and George Clunie still hasn't proposed." He flips a wrist dissmissively before arching an eyebrow slowly. "Oh tea would be lovely, and maybe one of those little pastry things we always get from the place down the street?"

"Maybe!" is Jeremy's non-committal answer over his shoulder, as he sets about fixing some tea. With a real tea set! It's stainless steel, and he's currently cutting up some lemon slices. "It's been pretty slow around here, but you know, there's still always something to do. I did, however, finish that mess of a jacket you left me with, and you can thank me later."

Leroy loosens his tie and tilts his head back some as he makes his way into the kitchen area. "Oh bless you darlin'! I have this vision you know, of a collarless shirt going with it, something…silky and turtlenecked." He shivers and gives a happy sigh before opening up a cabinet and reaching into it as he looks away, feeling around curiously and squinting. "I swear, anymore bougie food…and I would've just /died/ sometimes a man just needs his pop-tarts - oo, can you put some sugar in my tea?"

There is a slight clatter as Jeremy hastily puts things down and steps in /front/ of the cabinet, haphazardly closing the door. The smile he gives Leroy is bright, but jittery. "Okay so," he says, placing his hands on the other man's shoulders. "There's something I have to tell you. And you won't be happy with me, but I just ask that you be open minded and… open minded."

Leroy takes a step back, hand pressing against his chest as confusion and concern flickers in his eyes, eyebrows inching up slowly when those hands go on his shoulders and he tilts his head to the side. "…baby, I'm wearing magenta, if that's not open minded I don't know what is. Just let me get somethin' to eat before you go sharing your news with me, I'm more compassionate and understandin' when somethin's inside." He offers a bright smile and tentatively pats an arm.

Gulp. Jeremy's smile gets a little more frozen, and he leans 'casually' against the cabinet. "Well see, that's sort of the problem. Ish. It's not /really/ a problem but it might get turned into… one. If you let it. To sum up, the apartment has become a…" His eyes shift left to right as he tries to come up with a way of putting it. "A vegan zone. So it's not that we don't have plenty to eat!" He abruptly turns to fling open the cabinet. "Just, I've made some changes."

The Fashionista(ter?) to the stars looks honestly confused for a moment, lips parting and his left eye narrowing some. Then he smiles slowly and laughs, a rumbling and baritone sound, arm wrapping around to hold it as he doubles over, laughing harder as his free hand wipes at his eyes. He's just laughing and when it starts tapering off, fanning himself. "Oh lordy - woo! Gawd in heaven…"

Jeremy looks over his shoulder at his friend, and blinks once, twice, and slowly turns back to face him. Making no sudden movements. "Leroy?" he asks, tentatively, a hand reaching out to pat one magenta shoulder. "Are you jetlagged? Because really, Hollywood isn't that far away."

Leroy gets set off again, laughing and giggling with unexplained amusement, waving a hand before it comes to rest on that hand patting his shoulder. "Oh mah word, honeeeeeeey! I'm so proud of you. I left town and came back and now you den got you a sense of humor!" He titters before whewing and gasping for air as he wipes at his eyes.

"I've always had a sense of humour," Jeremy says, blinking rapidly, before his mouth goes into a thin line, watching Leroy laugh. With a shrug, he moves away, leaving the food pantry wide open for all to see. He hops up to sit on a bench, taking a bite out of his toast again and slipping a slice of lemon into his tea cup. And waits.

Leroy leans against a counter (bench) and works on catching his breath, hand resting on his hip. "Oh honey bear, that was too much, whew…good one." He looks to the open food pantry and then back at Jeremy and then back to the food pantry…and then back again. "Okay, now that we got that outta the way, where's the food?" A strained smile. "No really, seriously man…where'd you put it?"

Jeremy's eyes are wide as he takes another bite from his toast. Om nom. "The non-vegan food?" he asks, after swallowing his bite. "I gave some of the preservable things to charity, the rest are disposed off in an eco-friendly way." Bite. Swallow. Sip tea. Smile at Leroy. "But there's still food!"

Leroy isn't laughing, giggling or smiling anymore. "Right." He rushes forward quickly to try to evelope the other man in a hug, patting his head. "I'm so sorry I left you baby, it's okay now…Doctor Leroy got you, it'll be okay…you den lost your damn mind due to grief…"

"I den lost no mind," Jeremy says, in a poor imitation of Leroy's imitation accent, struggling out of the hug and hopping down off the counter. "The vegan lifestyle is the best, death-free way to live a healthy existence." He ducks down to open a lower cabinet, where there used to be cat food. Well, technically, there still is, and he takes out a box of it. That's right. Vegan friendly cat food. "And seriously, the food is really good, even the kitties agree. What did I tell you about having an open mind?"

Leroy turns smoothly to watch Jeremy, hand going back to his hip and the other pinching the bridge of his nose and he gives a nervous little hiccup of a chuckle, muttering for help from 'the lawd almighty' as his expression shifts from perplexed to incredulous. "Jerry baby…" He starts out carefully before he reads the front of that box. "Oh lord! Not the cats!" His fake accent slips. "Open mind? If you'd decide to transition, I would've been fine. If you told me you were seeing somebody, I would've been ecstatic. Hell, joining a /cult/ I could accept but the food?! Is nothing SACRED?!"

"Okay. So. We're angry." Oh no, slipping into that mildly passive aggressive calming talk, as Jeremy puts down the cat food. "That's okay! We're totally allowed to be angry. We are entitled to feel that. But perhaps we can breathe for a moment, because like I've been /saying/, it's not that bad. And of course you can eat whatever you want otherwise, just, you know. Try it out!"

Leroy's mouth drops open and he splutters some, finger coming up and neck jerking. "Oh puhleeze don't you /dare/ start that Dr Phil does Gay Pride week crap with me!" He's quick to snap, tossing hair he does not have and huffing. He listens…yes he listens and just splutters some more. Finally he just holds up his hands. "You know what?" A slow exhale. "My bad. You are absolutely correct." A long pause. "This is me breathing for a moment." He inhales and exhales deeply. "And now this is me going back to being angry. How the hell am I supposed to /maintain/ without my protein? I am a healthy gay man, I need my meat!" He then holds up a hand. "No. Don't. Too easy."

Jeremy opens his mouth… and shuts it again. He doesn't look /too/ ruffled by all the angryLeroyness, and instead, steps forward and hugs him again. "You're just wound up from the plane ride and Hollywood-mania," he says, resting his chin on Leroy's shoulder. "This will all seem fine in the morning. And look!" He semi-lets go of Leroy to point towards a few items on the kitchen bench. "Vegan-friendly protein shakes and supplement pills. Perfectly healthy."

The big chocolate man is indeed in the twilight zone, or so it feels as he just wraps his arms around Jeremy and pats his back, returning the hug and shaking his head. It's like smiling and nodding when you're in shock, or dealing with a crazy person. "Sweet jesus…" The accent is back as he slowly calms down, blinking and staring blankly at at the items pointed out and he sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose again. "I just want you to know, that unlike Robin Williams, all this fake food might make me look like Tyra Banks but your skinny lil' ass gonna look like Callista Flockhart." And on that note. "Tomorrow? We gonna have a very long talk."

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 License